Male and Female Imponderables - Not for the Faint of Heart

POSTED BY: PhoenixRose
UPDATED: Monday, July 17, 2006 21:53
VIEWED: 19171
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PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:22 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SpaceAnJL:
If my body is a temple, then it is one to the strange and squid-like gods of the elder times

You mean like Davey Jones?

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MAGDALENA

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:27 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:

So here's one: What is everyone's personal definition of "high maintenance"?
I've always thought of it as someone who was kinda pricey; expected to have a lot of money spent on them. But I think almost everyone has a slightly different view on it.

Mwaah! Phoenix rose!!

I think of 'high maintenance' as someone who demands more than they give. You end up supressing some of yourself in the relationship in order to 'keep the other person happy' so to speak. You are constantly being careful to say the right things - do the right things - call at the right time - care for their feelings and insecurities to the point that you are lost in putting the other one first! Usually they are the ones who vanish at the first hint that you might actually need a little real support from them too!!

After years of reasoning my way through these relationships (my turn will come - it never does!: I'm always there for you so you'll be there for me - they never are!!!) I identify them for what they are and avoid them like the plague - no matter how popular the friend is, or how sexy 'he' might be (or how jealous everyone is of your 'relationship' with him!!)

Phew - I need to lie down!! - Magdalena x x

PIZ

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:28 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SpaceAnJL:
Never said it was a healthy thing. Some people have an ego that seems to be
a separate entity.

True. It's just that so many people think that "ego" is a bad word, that having an ego at all makes one a
self-centered prick. I only wanted to make the point that that's not the case.

Quote:
Originally posted by SpaceAnJL:
I posted something a while ago about some of the folk I get in at work, who make a
real deal about how their food is prepped, etc. (NOT genuine allergies or intolerance,
just fussy.) That's high maintenance.

Absolutely.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

SPACEANJL

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:29 PM

More H P Lovecraft...still haven't seen POTC II. Waah!

Imponderable - matters of taste, again. Food, drink, music, books - all seem to have a gender bias. I like graphic novels, but this doesn't seem to be acceptable in a...woman of mature years. (I'm the same age as Mal - it isn't a bad thing.) Pints versus half-pints, or even beer versus alcopops? Has anyone else ever had the 'you shouldn't be (whatever) because you're a (insert gender here)'?

TRISTAN

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:37 PM

Morning, all!
'Tis the dreaded Monday...hope everyone had a good weekend!

Welcome to the new posters! Glad you could join us.

Not sure there was too much posted I didn't answer...I'll get some coffee and re-read the thread to be sure.

See y'all in a bit!

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PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:42 PM

Yeah, I knew who you were talking about, I was just almost weirded out by how much Davey Jones resembled Cthulu.
Anyway, so, I asked about 'high maintenance' because I like a lot of attention; cuddling and petting and hand-holding, usually. And regular aknowlegments of my existance when I go somewhere with someone. I also give a lot of attention, though, have often felt that I might give too much of myself at times. I guess I just want the same kind of attention I give. I'm pretty sure that's how it is, anyway. I do get a little insecure if I'm not getting enough attention. For a long time Ex of Doom would call me on a regular basis, miss me, and be decently affectionate when he saw me. When that stopped is when we really started having problems. I tried to work through them and he didn't. He also said he felt "smothered" a few times throughout our relationship.
I'll stop babbling now.

Told I shouldn't be something because? Yeah, I've had a few people tell me I shouldn't be sober because I'm Irish. Can't think of anything where someone said I shouldn't be a certain way because I'm female, though.

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PIZ

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
You mean like Davey Jones?

Hey! As a closet Monkees fan, I have to take umbrage at that remark.

OK, I've taken the umbrage.

*gives it back...* Put that in the fridge where it belongs.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

TRISTAN

Monday, July 17, 2006 12:53 PM

Coffee good.

SpaceAnJL, forgive my rudeness; I did not answer your query.
Yes, I have been told I shouldn't sew, cook, clean, and have a good eye for design (fashion and home) because I am a male. My response is "pah!"

Monkees...I was lucky enough to see their 1986 tour with The Grass Roots and a few other bands, but minus Mikey Dolenz. Much fun!

______________________________________

PIZ

Monday, July 17, 2006 1:01 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:

Anyway, so, I asked about 'high maintenance' because I like a lot of attention;
cuddling and petting and hand-holding, usually. And regular aknowlegments of my
existance when I go somewhere with someone. I also give a lot of attention, though,
have often felt that I might give too much of myself at times. I guess I just want
the same kind of attention I give. I'm pretty sure that's how it is, anyway. I do
get a little insecure if I'm not getting enough attention. For a long time Ex of Doom
would call me on a regular basis, miss me, and be decently affectionate when he saw me.
When that stopped is when we really started having problems. I tried to work
through them and he didn't. He also said he felt "smothered" a few times throughout
our relationship.

"Maintenance" is relative. What's too much for one could be just right for someone else. What
you describe doesn't of necessity make you high maintenance, just uncomfortable for
someone who doesn't match your level of attention giving/getting. It sounds within the range of
"normal" to me.

That said, I personally am uncomfortable with a lot of that sort of attention in either
direction. I'll call "needy" and "smothered" at what some would consider pretty low levels,
preferring subtle to overt, and private to public.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

MAGDALENA

Monday, July 17, 2006 1:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Told I shouldn't be something because? Yeah, I've had a few people tell me I shouldn't be sober because I'm Irish. Can't think of anything where someone said I shouldn't be a certain way because I'm female, though.

Hey - I've been told that I'm a freak coz I drink Vodka neat (no ice, nothin') and that I should be drunk ... just because I can hold my drinks! - I am usually told this by some guy who is pissed (yeah - that means something different in Australia too, your version of 'pissed' is 'pissed off' over here) on beer and slurring their words and breathing beer breath on me!

I'm goin' to my bunk now 'coz I gotta get up in the mornin'! Night y'all! Lovin' You! - Magdalena x x x

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