Male and Female Imponderables--What's done is done

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 12, 2006 13:09
VIEWED: 17154
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FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:
....do you feel like the new age of feminine power traps you into being meek? How have you managed to find a balance?

i'll bite (btw-i didn't mean to crude in my last post - just reminded of that Jayne line...)

but the question sorta goes back to the whole 'be yourself' thing....
i have never felt intidated by women - i even let them open doors for me.... i don't think that makes me meek.... i firmly believe in gender equality and if that makes me less of a man in someones eyes...then that person needs to have his eyes examined.....

one thing i will not stand for is bigotry in any form or fashion....

endeavor to persevere...

I am just gonna keep asking!

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:03 PM

ask away MSG!

WHITEFALL

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:04 PM

Mal4prez: Well if you're going for equality in the relationship, and yet you're finding that you're overridding on the guy... well, to your question, not really.

The new age thing, it's definitly a factor, and them "meek" guys (myself included) are, or should be worried as much about the SO's feelings as their own equally, that's fair. However, no one's perfect, if you find a meek guy, my guess is they already have the respect for females ingrained in em, they're just shy. So you just have to worry about getting the guy to take a more active roll.

All this is in opposition to the older male stereotype of controling the relationship and organizing everything blah blah, and if you find someone who does that, I'd be worried as it'd be harder for them to go down to 50/50.

As for the organization thing, where you have the idea and the guy just agrees, that's because he's afraid of pissing you off, new age of feminism not-with-standing, he doesnt want to piss you off. Imo, the motivating factor of a guy early in a relationship is to not piss off the girl as they could leave the guy n all, and if that annoys you folks, well... that's where awkwardness insues.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

MSG

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:08 PM

ok "WINCE" here's the thing, I keep reading that guys prefer ( ok this is my attempt to keep this from being trashy) good landscaping in a womans um bikini area. So do they??? I don't want to TMI the lot of you unless you want the info ( happy to answer just don't want to overshare)with my bikini area, but I would love to know if guys perfer trimmed, natural, or barren.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

MAL4PREZ

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:08 PM

Interesting answer Whitefall...

So, how do I draw these meek guys out? Maybe I just need to be patient, give them time to see I'm really soft and squishy inside and they need not fear the Wrath of Me?

MSG - where's the racy question? Bring it on!!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

TRISTAN

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:10 PM

Mal4Prez, no, not so much meek as accommodating. I am not a sub by any means, but I do like to keep the wife happy. I'll ask her opinion as to where she wants to go. If she knows, that's fine by me, as I am not all that picky. If she doesn't know, I will suggest things. If that doesn't work, I will choose. Now, of course, there will be times when I will play at being sub..."no, dear, wherever you want to go is fine"-type thing...which usually ends with me getting smacked . I have never been hesitant about voicing my opinion as to where to go; just that very rarely does it impact on my enjoyment of being with the SO. I don't think the "empowered" woman concept has emasculated me. *And off Tristan goes once again!*
I try to be sure my wife is happy 24/7. As you know, this is not possible. I am relatively easy to please; she knows this, I know this, all things are well. In my attempts to keep her happy, I sometimes bend when I shouldn't. I do not see this as meekness or complacency, I see it as loving my wife, and trying to keep her happy. I can be terse if necessary. I have not yet been laconic, but I have skipped right over into the "not talking" phase a time or two, but things always work out. Love will make someone do things they normally wouldn't. I will not back down from anyone, be it woman or man, unless I choose to do so. I choose to be this way with my wife in order to try to make her life a bit happier.
So endeth the sermon once again. I would apologize for going off, but I don't want to appear meek to y'all.

______________________________________

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:10 PM

I don't know about the men. But in my own personal hygiene, I prefer the less is more theory

MSG

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:12 PM

ok since you're sharing FMF...I'm right with you ( brazilian) but I am curious as to the guys response:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

WHITEFALL

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:13 PM

As to drawing said meek guys out, bah, I dunno, that could be either inexperience that they just need someone to tell them (maybe not in so many words) that you arent gonna be pissed if they express their own opinions... on the other hand, could be a real confidence psychological issue, and well... though they'll probably eventually figure it out, may not want to wait on that.

Keep in mind, what do I know, though I'm a reasonable observer of my own male condition and all them human conditions, i have 0% actual experience in the field of dating.

On MSG's subject. I, as the 17 year old, havent the slightest clue what you're talking about, and for once I fear it may be bordering on TMI, but meh, dont want to stifle your conversations.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:16 PM

Hey all, been lurking all morning once again. I'm off to see my rheumatologist in just a few minutes. I've been preparing to have to fight her about some of my test results. All part of the joy of trying to get a diagnosis. So completely off topic for the Imponderables, I know, but wish me luck.

Oh, and I mentioned the new job possibility yesterday -- still no word on that, but my body decided to remind me yesterday that the new job may not be that great of a fit with my health concerns. So I'm very much beh on that now. If I get an interview and an offer, I'll deal with it then, but for now I'm not sitting next to the phone any more.

*Hugs* to all you, my fellow Imponderable-ers. I'll check in when I get back. ;P

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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