How Firefly got my girl back (may not be app for kids)

POSTED BY: KuangZheDe
UPDATED: Tuesday, June 6, 2006 18:01
VIEWED: 7329
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KUANGZHEDE

Friday, June 2, 2006 2:14 PM

Caution, this post may include language of a graphic nature not suitable for children or people without a since of humor. You have been warned.

KZD

As it has been sometime since I have posted, I feel I should explain my situation and, in turn, how (as wee all know) Firefly was the solution.

It is commonly known that for most common ailments, starvation, poverty, flat tires, crushed 3rd and 4th vertebrae’s......the only solution is Firefly. With this wisdom in mind, I thought, "well, why can't this work on relationship issues."

Back story

I was seeing this girl who I was beginning to like and was invited to her birthday party. As with all tragic stories, this one involved a large number of libations, an exboyfriend, and my dumb ass. Not to bore you with the details, this waste of space would not keep his hands off of her, while visibly taunting me, and she was claiming "we are just friends...he always rubs my back like this." I relented...for awhile...as my blood level became more and more thinned with the relatively massive amount of alcohol intake, I really was not willing to put up with this nonsense any longer. So I pretty much made a scene, told them exactly what I thought about the situation and told them they could orally ingest certain parts of my anatomy.

After storming off, I was fairly certain I would never hear from her again or her oversized, hairy, and all around mentally challenged ex-boyfriend. But fate is a cruel and confused little miss. So about a week later, she calls me. I am still "not a happy camper" about the whole situation, but agree to see her.

So, though I have dragged this out long enough, she wanted to come over and see me. When see came over, she wanted to watch a movie...so I recommended we watch the pilot of Firefly. One hour forty-seven minutes later, our clothes are all over the room, the DVD intro is playing for the umpteenth time, and I am "in like Flynn" (maybe not a good choice of words, as 'in like Flynn' was coined after Errol Flynn beat a statutory rape charge- she is 23 for the record)

She now wants to watch all of the episodes. So, two birds with one stone. I can't tell you how cute it was to wake up next to her with her wearing my "chain of command" t-shirt.

Now what do with the new girl I was seeing for the entire previous week? Well the old girl did say she had something for asian women, which the new girl happens to be

Going straight to hell, no passing through purgatory.....straight to hell. ..where me and Satan will have a good laugh about all this and probably watch "out of gas" (its his favorite)

More details to follow as my developing love triangle will most likely began to fall apart.

If this offended anybody, I am sorry, I just think it important to realize that if a relationship starts getting a little rocky, break glass, pull out Firefly, and trust me, you will have a happy ending ;)

KZD

Kuang Zhe De

KENOBIUS

Friday, June 2, 2006 2:18 PM

Whoa... good story.

FOLLOWMAL

Friday, June 2, 2006 2:45 PM

Hey, Firefly works for whatever ails ya!

Good to see you back!

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

KUANGZHEDE

Friday, June 2, 2006 2:47 PM

Good to be back..thanks for the push

Stay Shiny

Kuang Zhe De

FOLLOWMAL

Friday, June 2, 2006 2:52 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by KuangZheDe:

Going straight to hell, no passing through purgatory.....straight to hell. ..where me and Satan will have a good laugh about all this and probably watch "out of gas" (its his favorite)

As we have a rather joyous thread devoted to those of us in this exact same position, I thought I'd tell you about the Forsaken thread.. I believe Satan himself has sent us a cake in the ongoing hijinks over there. You might like to join us for 'smores, whiskey and whatever else we all dream up. I'm sure you'll fit right in. The evolution of that thread is a pretty good read, if you care to go back and follow it. In between dates maybe?

OoG is my favorite too, let me know, might have to join you!

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

KUANGZHEDE

Friday, June 2, 2006 4:03 PM

Great, now I am consumed with making emos', it is a slippery slope

Kuang Zhe De

CHRISMOORHEAD

Friday, June 2, 2006 5:51 PM

...Fornicator

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, June 2, 2006 6:21 PM

Who do you think you are? I can't believe that you even considered the threesome. Drinking alcohol , telling people to your , promicuous sex during Firefly. Are you some kind of monster. The hell you burn in will be very warm and unrelenting! Guess I'll see you there. I'll be sure to bring some beers and a camcorder. Seriously, have fun. But beware. You may end up in a long term relationship with one of them and if you do opt for the threeway, it could be a source of pain and mistrust forever. Until then, fight on BROWNCOAT.

JAYNE: [disappointed] I was gonna get me an ear too.

KUANGZHEDE

Friday, June 2, 2006 6:30 PM

Only too true, this will obviously be a bonehead move to attempt. Ghostrider brings up an all to important point. Not only that, I could possibly be killed by one of said ladies if things really got ugly. Most likley, the sitiuation would play out as follows.

Threesome begins, and they really get into it, and the both realize that they don't really need me, they just need each other So my plan backfires and I lose both of them and my pride.

That would be both hilarious and morally crushing.

Good advice Ghostrider, I think I will follow it,but certain parts of me, namely the demon that lives inside of me, are still trying to convince me that I should give it a shot, even though I know it will end tragically.

Morality, what a

Keep on flying and more details to come as weekend onfolds. Good bless you Joss for giving me the opportuinty, no the privelage, to screw my life up even more with such useful tools as firefly.

Kuang Zhe De

SHEPHERD2BE

Friday, June 2, 2006 6:32 PM

"I think I might cry."-- Ariel

Nice work, but have to agree with NVGhostrider.

Cannot remember where I heard it but,
"Threesomes are like communism. Great ideas on paper but don't always fly in real life."

Play safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll be in my bunk

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