Come and laugh at all the stupid people!
POSTED BY: EmmaRigby
UPDATED: Sunday, June 4, 2006 15:15
VIEWED: 11497
PAGE 4 of 6
HAHAHA! Lovin' em guys!
Just what I needed after the day I've had :D
Keep 'em commin, nothing like a giggle at other people's expense xD
-Brexan
"Also, I can kill you with my brain"
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Quote:
Originally posted by kjippo:
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
This one wins the prize. I'll be giggling all night at least.
David
"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de
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Quote:
Originally posted by lwaves:
I never thought Americans were stupid, at least not until they enter a government position and then stupidity exponentially increases the nearer they get to the top!!
...or when they become FOX executives...
I told a friend about my new Firefly obsession and loaned her my DVDs - when I said that Fox hadn't even aired the entire first series and that they had asked Joss & Tim to 'write an episode in a weekend' she said "Joss? They asked Joss? Didn't they know that they they were lucky to have him???!!*#@!!??
And this from someone who has never seen the show!
Magdalene x x x
"I love my captain!"
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I am actually having an asthma attack - talk... like... Jayne... cannot...
This is so funny - especially as I am 100% Australian (Sydney?????????????? NO!!) and 50% British (I'll explain later) and I studied Hitler extensively (but logically he wasn't a member of the Conservative Party either) so I have to thank you all!
There are people of all nationalities who are complete bone-heads! This just brings us a little closer together (and gives us a false sense of superiority in the intelligence stakes)
Love you all - Magdalene x x x
"I love my captain!"
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Quote:
Originally posted by Penguin:
I cleaned up your smilie!
Much obliged!
Will you share the secret? There are a couple others I would love to de-bug.
**********************************
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Goodness, this has taken on a life of it's own!
Loved the new ones people have put up!
Just to let evryone know that even the best of us can have their D'oh moments, I was eating breakfast whilst doing a Sudoku puzzle this morning and tried to write with a spoon full of milk whilst putting the pen in my mouth! It was very early!
________________________________
Hisssssss!
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(hope it translates...):
Q: What´s the name of the roman god of war?!
A: Snickers!
Another one:
Q: name an insect that is black and yellow
A: Spider!
Q: ...
A: Giraffe!
A.
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.
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Holy crap, it's been a while since I laughed this hard, and this long because it kept getting renewed - my neighbours must think I'm either crazy or getting butchered. I had to stop several times because I couldn't read anymore with the tears of laughter in my eyes.
I was just grinning and giggling until...
Big Quiz (LBC):
Q: Name the funny men who entertained kings and queens at court.
A: Lepers
From then on, I was laughing out loud and occasionally shrieking.
It IS kinda sad to see just how stupid people are, but so incredibly hilarious at the same time.
More, please, more!
I'm gonna read the whole thing again right now! Wheeee!
Proud Member of the FFF.net Event Team
Department of All Things Insane
Serenity Now/Equality Now screenings / Serenity Day (unrelated):
June 23rd www.cantstoptheserenity.com www.serenityday.org
Serenity Summer Campaign:
June 23rd - Sept 30th www.FireFlyFans.net
Serenity 'Versary:
September 30th www.FireFlyFans.net
Be there or be a purple-belted poop head. (<- not the official slogan)
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On The Tonight Show:
Q: What does the "DC" stand for in Washington DC?
A: Da Capital!
-----------------------------------------------
"I am you father's brother's sister's cousin's former roommate!"
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Okay, I've just found something even better than the quiz show answers!
Funny motor insurance claims
"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early." (thanks N Bradley)
"I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof." (from an Australian claim form - ack N Shepherd)
"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind." (Thanks Sharon Burrows)
"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."
Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."
"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."
"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."
"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."
"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
"The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I
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