Come and laugh at all the stupid people!
POSTED BY: EmmaRigby
UPDATED: Sunday, June 4, 2006 15:15
VIEWED: 11497
PAGE 3 of 6
Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
National Lottery:
Q: There are 3 states of matter; solid, liquid and what?
A: Jelly.
Actually there are at least five states of matter: solid, liquid, gas, plasma and Bose-Einstein Condensates.
Jelly, you might be interested to know, is a solid with liquid components.
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Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
The Weakest Link:
Q: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?
A: The Conservative Party.
I'm sorry but how is that funny? Adolf didn't get put in prison so how could it be wrong? (Heck there's no real proof the body they found burned was his)
One day.
One plan.
One army of Browncoats.
On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cathera:Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
The Weakest Link:
Q: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?
A: The Conservative Party.
I'm sorry but how is that funny? Adolf didn't get put in prison so how could it be wrong? (Heck there's no real proof the body they found burned was his)
You must have missed some facts in history class...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler
On April 1, 1924 Hitler was sentenced to five years' imprisonment at Landsberg prison for the crime of conspiracy to commit treason. Hitler received favoured treatment from the guards and had much fan mail from admirers. While at Landsberg he dictated his political book Mein Kampf (My Struggle) to his deputy Rudolf Hess. The book, dedicated to Thule Society member Dietrich Eckart, was both an autobiography and an exposition of his political ideology.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cathera:
I'm sorry but how is that funny? Adolf didn't get put in prison so how could it be wrong?
Yes he did. He was sentenced to prison for 5 years after the failed coup attempt of 1923 (known as the beer hall putsch.) He served I think it was 9 months of his sentence before being granted clemency. The book Mein Kampf (My Struggle) which outlined his plans of conquest and genocidal intent was written during that incarceration.
Edit: For proper date and time.
David
"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de
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ok I didn't study that part of history in college (Renaissance Fan) so I didn't realize he was in jail BEFORE he committed the other crimes. Thanks for the lesson.
One day.
One plan.
One army of Browncoats.
On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cathera:
ok I didn't study that part of history in college (Renaissance Fan) so I didn't realize he was in jail BEFORE he committed the other crimes. Thanks for the lesson.
Thankfully their are plenty of Jews still around who will gladly help you with your "Hitler was a bad bad man" lessons.
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The man with the 'tache was a jailbird before he went into politics. And Poland.
(As opposed to politicians, who do it the other way round, usually.)
He wrote "Mein Kampf" (My German's a little rusty, but I believe it means "Don't Drop Your Soap") while in the chokey.
G
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cathera:
ok I didn't study that part of history in college (Renaissance Fan) so I didn't realize he was in jail BEFORE he committed the other crimes. Thanks for the lesson.
You're welcome.
David
"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de
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OK, I found some more, the heading of the page being "Education standards under New Labour in the UK". I don't know about that, but some of these are hysterical.. I could add that I have met english people who did not know where Norway was. (nor that it actually was a country) Now we may be a small country, but we are also one of your closest neighbours.
RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?
STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that.
BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four
BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.
"You're my kind of stupid"
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