Male and Female Imponderables the Fifth

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Sunday, May 28, 2006 11:01
VIEWED: 20374
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PHOENIXROSE

Thursday, May 25, 2006 2:32 AM

Copilot, darling, did this guy really call you an ugly whore? Any man called me anything like that I would be like to throw a kick his way and say "Okay, well, guess it's over now. Never talk to me again." If I lived with him it would be closer to "Take all your shit and get out." Really, if that's what he thinks of you, you need to get away from him. Like, right away. I'm sorry that his true colors are so nasty; I feel your pain.
Want me to light him on fire? I can light him on fire...

Yes, I was bullied in my younger years. Not pushed around beat up bullied, more like threatened and got stuff stollen bullied. Though I got in a few tussles. I was not a popular kid. I'm not what could really be called "popular" now, either, but the friends I have are good ones and no one is throwing nasty insults my way. That I know of. Anyway it eventually drove me out of school early (tested out) and I have not been eager to go back, though I know I should get a degree. I've just been surrounded by elitists most of my life and haven't seen that it would change much in college. Maybe so I hope. Hoping to start college later this year. Ugh.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

SASSALICIOUS

Thursday, May 25, 2006 5:29 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
So anyone have advice for someone who's about to become single again? I don't know how this works I'm only at the I hate the fing bastard and listening to Fiona Apple at high volumes stage. Also I havn't told him yet. But it's his own f**king fault. Sorry anger issues.

An I carried such a torch....For the Dark Lord

I don't have much advice for you (4 years is a long time,,,i'm impressed). Stay angry for the time being. If you don't you risk not following through (and that might be bad). When you do break up with him, don't use hints. Just say it.

Fiona Apple? I love her!! Have you heard the new album yet? I keep meaning to buy it, but also keep forgetting.

Other music to listen to: Silverchair, Evanescence, Lacuna Coil, and Ani Difranco (she's not my favorite, but she has some good angry girl music).

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I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"
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EMMARIGBY

Thursday, May 25, 2006 7:43 AM

I just had to say Copilot that hearing about your troubles had me seething in indignation. That should mean something. I've only known you for a few weeks, have just chatted over e-mail, and still you inspire strong feelings of protectiveness. This suggests that you are a special and wonderful person.

Don't let the get you down. Once the anger wears off it's all too easy to get depressed over stuff like this. Chuck him but keep your self worth intact, I say!!

Hope you're feeling better today (I have to catch up some so I may find out!)

"The bad stuff's easier to believe" Pretty Woman

MERCURY002

Thursday, May 25, 2006 9:19 AM

stay talking to us it will cheer you up, as to control the anger i have no idea some say better out than in, i have only been properly angery once, i just put the negative feelings in a little box in my mind (i think its bad for me but so is crossing the road) and sometimes it builds and i feel like the hulk about to go all green also my fav color.

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:58 AM

Hey Copilot

Sorry to hear about the (in)significant other in your life. My advice would be to dump him and move on, but I know that's usually a lot harder to do than it is to say.

I kind of wound up being a serial bullying victim, and it's something that I've only recently managed to put a stop to. I was bullied in varying degrees pretty much all the way through school - writing poetry and a fondness for science fiction doesn't go over with the how's-my-makeup oh-I-love-this-song how-do-I-look he-HAS-to-call-me crowd. It only stopped when a rumour went around the school that I was psychic (I'm not) and I became weirdly cool for my last school year. That was fun :)

Shortly after I finished college I wound up with a guy who belittled me just about every day we were together. I didn't realise how bad it was at the time, but the stuff he said had a horrible effect on me. I finally snapped the night he took his anger out on me by hitting me. Here's a tip. Never hit a girl who's grown up in a tough neighbourhood and has repressed anger issues. One particularly gleeful friend (who'd wanted me to dump the guy for ages) told me she could still see the phone shaped bruise on the guy's left cheek four days later. I got over it, but I didn't date again for over two years.

You'd have thought I'd have learned my lesson from that, but the icing on the cake was getting bullied by my boss at work. And guess what? ~Again~ clever me didn't realise what was going on until someone else pointed it out! The thing was I'd been off work for a long time due to illness, and this boss had labelled me as unreliable from the time I got back. I did manage to sort the situation out eventually, but it was horrible at the time, especially since I was convinced for a long time that she was right and I ~was~ a terrible employee, and couldn't understand why I never seemed to improve.

As you can imagine, once I got out of that situation there was a LOT of trying to figure out why I seemed to end up getting bullied so much and how I could stop it happening again. I've been very lucky in that I have great friends who've made me feel a lot better about myself and who give me great advice when thinks get rough. And I can safely say that I will never, ever be bullied again - by anyone!

I don't usually go for posting my life story on the internet, but I wanted to let people know that bullying can happen at any stage of your life and there's always, always a way out. It might take ages, it might take courage, it might even take legal action (!) but there is ~always~ a way out. I can't believe how great my life is now! I certainly didn't think it would take less than a year to get a job I really love. So if anyone out there is stuck in any situation that makes them miserable, my advice is to do whatever you can to get out of it and have the happiest life you can possible have. No matter what anyone says, you deserve it.

Desktop Hippie: at one with the 'verse

FLATTOP

Thursday, May 25, 2006 12:49 PM

Violence:
I am well trained at committing acts of violence. Not UFC cage match good, but well enough that I train others. That said; I abhor violence. I do not want to hurt anyone. I do however recognize it as occasionally necessary, as I have seen what can happen to peaceful, poorly trained/equiped people when faced with a very few well trained/equiped opponents that intend them ill. I believe that all of the people in the world should possess the knowledge/means to inflict gross bodily harm on others. That way the good folk of the world will not only vastly out-number the evil, but the evil few will live in mortal fear of discovery. Heinlein (sp?) said it best, "An armed society is a polite society."

The lack of comity, and civility in today's society are rants that I will lauch off on when I have more time...

Violence in film: My daughter and I like to watch zombie/horror/action films, accept the fantasy so to speak, then we pick them apart, and determine better courses of action for the main character(s) to have taken. It's kooky, but we enjoy it.

Exes: haven't had one in too long to comment.

Bullying: I'm a largish man (6' 200#), I carry myself confidently, and keep looking around in an 'I know what's around me' way, not a twitchy 'What was that?' way. I don't get bullied so much (except by my wife ).

Only you can make you feel guilty. If you are doing the right thing - no matter what anyone else says, feel good about it and yourself. If you aren't doing the right thing - straighten up, or may the weight of your guilt drown you.

Do you know what your sin is Captain?
Aww Hell. I'm a big fan of all seven.

TRISTAN

Thursday, May 25, 2006 1:04 PM

Good morning, all!
I missed a bit yesterday...
Copilot, the engine is warmed up, and ready to have someone tossed through it; just say the word!

I think the only thing I haven't replied to has been the bullying issue. School for me was quite a long time ago. I was never bullied, nor was I the bully. I had a core of friends I stuck with, and if you picked on one of us, you had to deal with many. Ok, we weren't thugs, or weightlifters, but we were the geeks, etc, and we could confuse the hell out of any attacker . They eventually gave up.

Let me throw out another topic for today: equality in the workplace. Anyone having issues with this? Males and females both.
My story is that I am one of two males where I work (the other is the owner of the Agency). I am also the newest member of the "team", and still learning from everyone. There is only one area that I know more than most everyone else, but I still have to ask for help. As far as equality, I am treated well, if condescendingly at times. And yes, I have to hear about the evils of males every now and again when one of my sex does something stupid. All I can really say is I am happy I have my own office!
Y'all's thoughts?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Thursday, May 25, 2006 1:18 PM

Tristan

I work in an all female office. I am the only one here with technical certifications AND in my last position I actually ran a company. So there is a lot of animosity from the others.

I know it is awful to say, but I actually prefer working with men. We women are our own greatest enemy. I do not know why, but women do tend to sabatoge each other. Not all women, but enough to make life uncomfortable.

Ladies, do I speak truth?

BTW: interestingly enough I got asked out last night. One small problem, he is EXACTLY half my age. Toy boy is nice, but Oedipal is a little too freaky

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

TAYEATRA

Thursday, May 25, 2006 1:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:

BTW: interestingly enough I got asked out last night. One small problem, he is EXACTLY half my age. Toy boy is nice, but Oedipal is a little too freaky

I'm guessing it does wonders for self-esteem though!

Yay for FMF!

In response to the equality at work thing. In my, admittedly limited, experience in retail I found that staff were treated equally by other staff and management. However, customers were clearly discriminatory, going to women to complain, men for enquiries and generally seeking out older members of staff to assist. I was the youngest member of staff despite being floor manager on more than one occasion and the condescending manner in which I was treated was very derogatory. Luckily I had others watching out for me.

*****
Taya
*****
I'm going to S3!!!
(*Insert hysterical celebration dance here*)

SOULQUAKE

Thursday, May 25, 2006 1:59 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Tristan

I know it is awful to say, but I actually prefer working with men. We women are our own greatest enemy. I do not know why, but women do tend to sabatoge each other. Not all women, but enough to make life uncomfortable.

Ladies, do I speak truth?

You do! The worst job I worked was as a receptionist with a bunch of girls. It was insane, the backstabbing and gossip and, like you said, sabatoge. I was only there for less than two months, I left for different reasons, but I was glad to go!

---
"Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away."

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