Male and Female Imponderables the Fifth

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Sunday, May 28, 2006 11:01
VIEWED: 20374
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MSCKAREN

Monday, May 22, 2006 8:19 PM

Been away for a while so I'll just try to jump in again...

I have many wonderful male gay friends but none of them are SF oriented. I think SF folk are generally more open to different lifestyles but I haven't seen a large gay following for the genre.

Kissing: I tend to go to the right. A man's skills at this are very important to me and they have to at least show potential for me to go further with them. It's fun to practice, anyway!

Flirting: I agree there is a difference between friendly flirting and the serious stuff. Eye contact is the first step - holding a gaze just a little longer than "normal" and then smiling are BIG hints. If the person brings up sex in a serious way, then they are looking for something more than "friendly"...simple...

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"Appears they've cancelled the show and we're still here. What does that make us?"
"Big damn junkies, Sir!"
"Ain't we just."
http://karenallover.blogspot.com/

VINTERDRAKEN

Monday, May 22, 2006 9:23 PM

Can say one thing the gay community in Sweden (atleast the ones I know in sweden) think is great with Scifi, namely slashes. Have a gay friend who wrote a university thesis on Kirk/Spock slash stories. They dont take them very seriously though, treat em more like a cultural heritage that kinda lost its meaning down the road.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 7:55 AM

I agree with Tristan on the kissing technique. And the passionate part. If there's no kissing in foreplay, I just don't get into it at all. I don't think kissing always has to lead somewhere else, mind, but it certainly can and sometimes it should
I am bi. Not gay, I've actually dated mostly men, but there's more than just a few reasons River and Zoe are my favorite characters
My most recent convert is also bi. She's been about equal in the dating pool between men and women, but she's a bit older than me (age seems to bring people out of the closet, hence more dating oportunities.)
I'm sure we've discussed signs in flirting before, I'll try to remember some of the wise pearls I had before... Uh, solid eye contact tends to be a big indicator. My eyes kinda wander when I'm not totally interested in the person I'm talking to. There are several reasons for this. For one thing, when someone is interesting and attractive, I kinda stare enraptured at them. If they aren't so much, I get distracted easier, plus there is the part of me figuring "Maybe if I act uninterested enough, they'll eventually give up and stop talking to me." since I usually can't bring myself to just meanly say "You're boring the hell out of me/I'm really not at all interested in you, go away!" Touch is a big indicator. If someone offers to rub your shoulders, they are intersted in you. At least, certainly if the person is me. I also smile a whole lot, with eye contact. Alternately, if I smile/laugh while avoiding someone's eyes, it's because I'm uncomfortable. And if I at any point say "You know, that's always been a real turn-on for me." or something similar, that's kinda my subtle way of saying "Hey, that means you should try it on me at some point..."
Most of my friends have told me I'm overly obvious when showing my interest, but there have still been a few people who kinda miss it, so I'm inclined to say I'm not quite obvious enough, they just think that because they know me.
And friendly flirting is very different. It's usually just to make someone feel better, such as "Oh, you know you're a gorgeous sex goddess!" etc. Friendly flirting is actually usually more over-the-top than serious flirting, I'm not sure why. Maybe becuase you can be more brash when you know it's not going to go anywhere. That's just my take.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

MERCURY002

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 1:17 PM

ahh hang on what ... wow this is fast

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

MERCURY002

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 1:31 PM

Ok well i agree with nuke day about flirting, im like a brick wall its bad. I dont feel comfortable flirting i feel like im lying, im really bad at lying everybody can tell when i am.

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

MAL4PREZ

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 1:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Vinterdraken:
Have a gay friend who wrote a university thesis on Kirk/Spock slash stories.

OMG! That is too great!!

My frustration is that when I show an episode or two of FF or Buffy to my gay friends, they tend to not see how genious Joss is about making fun of gender stereotypes, and gay stereotypes. They really see tough guys and pretty women, and, well, Zoe can fight and Simon's kinda gayboy cute and that's nice but let's watch something else now...

have to give an example: Kaylee's reaction to Mal being married (the gasp of delight) just KILLS me because it's so making fun of that exact reaction. And Buffy's Something Blue episode making fun of newlyweds.

Anyway, didn't mean to get rantish.

Flirting: not good at it. I try, it's ugly. My favorite flirting method is to run into a guy playing hockey.

As far as talking/flirting, I have to just be myself and let the chips fall where they may.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

TRISTAN

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 2:14 PM

Sorry, all, have not been able to play lately; Real Life is giving me a hard time...work sucks! I am hoping to be back solid in a few days, but I can bounce in here every now and then today...

I do not have any input into the gay sci-fi fan base. Most of the people I have known that were gay were either in the music or drama departments...we never really discussed sci-fi.
I am going to ask a stupid question that I probably know the answer to already...define "slash"?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

DEEPGIRL187

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 2:35 PM

"Slash" fan fictions are stories that center around a male/male pairing or a female/female pairing. Though I tend to find any of the male Firefly characters paired together slightly creepifying, many of the female slash stories are pretty good.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

TRISTAN

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 2:39 PM

Ah, thought so...I am not familiar with the "slash" designation, though.
Thank you for enlightening me.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 4:32 PM

I hear you on the whole job crap. Not to mention the continuing saga of what personal life I try to salvage from day to day. Back to the Impnderables. True or False. Women tend to keep at least one guy friend around in order to fulfill the emotional hole their men cannot fill. I have my own opinions, but I'd like to hear what all you SHINY folks in the 'verse have to say.

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