Male and Female Imponderables Part Deux
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Monday, May 15, 2006 20:33
VIEWED: 25808
PAGE 17 of 23
I think it's possible to be in love with many people at the same time. Just not an all consuming love that, you can only have for one person at a time. Just my opinion.
Also I think that once you've fallen in love with someone it's forever. You can never stop loving someone no matter how much you want to drive metal spikes into their eyes.
An I carried such a torch
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Wow. Toughie, there, Lysander. I would imagine it's possible, but like Deepgirl says, probably not all that likely. I guess that love could possibly be confused for lust...I have been in love and lust with more than one person at a time, but I am pretty sure I have never loved more than one person in that way.
That's a good one!
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Good answers. I feel the same way that you all do. I think it is possible, but unlikely. I really believe that Tristan is right. I do believe that people mix love with lust. There is the rare occasion that it does happen, but I've never seen it.
Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.
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I have experienced being in love with two people at once. It. Sucks. Yes, really, it does. It's a torn feeling on a very basic level, esspecially since I'm a naturally loyal person. There was jealousy and drama and a complete falling out with the person I was with. Even though he claimed to have felt the same thing, he refused to understand. It was a short relationship and the end was messy.
So my answer would be yes, it is possible. It's difficult and if it can be avoided it should be, but it's possible.
I also agree that if you fall in love with someone you love them forever. They have a little tiny piece of you that you can't get back. I can also say, however, that wanting to drive spikes through their eyes and being angry and bitter at them can make it easier to ignore that old feeling. Partly, I think, because good love depends on trust. If you can't trust someone anymore, the love goes sour, even if it remains in some form.
And oh yes, I love having my posts responded to 
so no need to apologize.
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One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.
Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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I am glad to hear there is no need for an apology. I enjoy posting, and airing my own opinions, but I have no wish to irk anyone. The whole idea was for fun discussion and I'm glad we're still having fun 
Unfortunately, you are right about loving a person forever. There may be a period of time where you wish that person was dead, but the love stays. Well, how about in most cases your feelings last forever...I am still quite displeased with my first wife, and that was almost four years ago. I am not foolish enough to believe I was in love with everyone I have been with, but those that I did love I still care about. Heck, one of them is married to a very good friend of mine, and we still see each other every now and then.
So, love is good, breaking up is bad, and the feelings stick around.
Ever seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ? There were times in the past where I wish that were possible...
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Lifted from the "who would you bed down with" thread:
Quote:
Originally posted by sab39:
I also wonder whether there's any connection between that fact and the way that (as another sweeping generalization) any straight man will respond to the thought of two women with a firm "I'll be in my bunk" where as far as I can tell it's pretty rare for a woman to have that reaction to the thought of two men.
Hey, as long as it's loving, I think it's hot. I've read some slash fics that left me cold, and some that left me, well, not cold. I'll say, though, that I never eally thought about it before reading them. As far as someone I was with... Well, I wouldn't want to watch them get it on with anyone else, regardless of gender. But cute couples are cute, and they can be across the whole spectrum. There are some lesbian couples that are really not that cute, some that are; some hetero cuples that are also decidedly not cute, and some that are. See where I'm going with this? anyway, my theory is that it's usually the thought of pleasure that causes the "I'll be in my bunk" reaction. Women can be very good at pleasuring each other since they are, uh, quite familiar with the parts. The same could probably be said of men. It's not a regualr fantasy, but I can dig it.
That brings up another thought. another generalization that I might be totally off on: I, as a woman, tend to have fantasies that include myself. I think this is true of most women, which is possibly why we don't tend to fantasize about two men together. Where would we fit in? But men seem to be able to imagine two completely different people and still find it enjyable, which is possibly why they would fantasize about two women. Am I right?
*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.
Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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.... i posted a reply about soul mates a while back... saying that in my third year of marriage i met someone else and we fell in love - I still loved the woman i married, but love follows no set rules... loving two people at once can happen (or maybe even more than two).... While this may work for some - polygamists come to mind (anyone watch 'Big Love' on HBO?)... it just didn't work in my case. There must be a mutual understanding between all parties involved.
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Hmm. Most of my fantasies involve myself and one other person. I learned early on, outside of fantasies, that it is easier to enjoy yourself when you only have one other partner to focus on. Not saying I can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time , but when it comes to the physical, I prefer only one other.
As to the "guy" fantasy of two women together...not really sure. I enjoy the thought of it, yes, but it does not drive my fantasies. Would I look away? No, but neither would I jump right in there. You are correct, PhoenixRose, in that a woman knows another woman's body best (same would go for a man, but that is something I have never done nor had the desire to do), and I think a man would just get in the way in that situation.
And no, I could not handle the thought of my wife with another male. Maybe being the odd "man" out here, but her being with another female would not bother me too much...at least I don't think it would. And no, I would not want to be involved in it, either. I cannot speak for all males (that is beginning to be a common disclaimer of mine), but I think that may be the consensus; we would rather have our significant other be with another female than with a male.
Thanks for bringing that discussion over. Invite some of them over here...see what they have to say on the matter.
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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>I also wonder whether there's any connection between that fact and the way that (as another sweeping generalization) any straight man will respond to the thought of two women with a firm "I'll be in my bunk" where as far as I can tell it's pretty rare for a woman to have that reaction to the thought of two men.<
Not so; I've met a lot of women into the thought of watching two
Soulmates? Yes - I've seen eyes across the crowded room and *bingo* twice [You! Where have you been?!!] and I've heard of it happening to other peeps. With all the folk out there it's likely there's a handful of people with whom we could be as close to soulmates as makes no difference. Trouble is, the 'other half' might be in Outer Mongolia
Vera
Devout Keeper of Jayne's Lunchbox
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I really think that what you are saying has to do with the thing about casual sex. Everybody does it, it just seems more accepted by many males. That is why we are able to imagine people we don't even know. It works with women too, it's just not as predominant. I also think that is why males are more closely associated with adult movies. This may be coming from way out in left field, but that's what I think.
Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.
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