Male and Female Imponderables Part Deux
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Monday, May 15, 2006 20:33
VIEWED: 25808
PAGE 16 of 23
I forgot to add that part, too. My wife orgams every time as well...assuming I am able to keep everything going just right...it's horrible getting old, and sometimes the ten-year difference kills me...
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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I just thought of this question today, don't know if anyone has brought it up yet.
On average, what would you all say is the average age that men and women lose their virginity? You hear all sorts of things on the news, but it would be interesting to hear my fellow Browncoat's opinion on the subject.
At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.
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I was a late bloomer...18 and a Freshman in college. I had a lot of catching up to do with a lot of my colleagues. Most of the males I knew lost it around 16; most of the females about the same.
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
PhoenixRose, thank you for that. And you're right; the right woman is worth waiting for!
Back to the casual thing...it can't be just guys who can do this. If it were, then there wouldn't be a question about it. I was never a male slut, but I did have a few meaningless flings with partners who were seeking the same thing. Is this a widespread phenomenon? I am not sure that all males were brought up viewing sex as "sacred"...more of a rite of passage. That may be wrong, but it seems to be the norm. You very rarely hear of a man "saving himself from marriage"...please don't tear me apart for stating these things; I am trying to get more views on these things.
No, most people are not raised to think of sex as sacred. The normal standards of our society cast it both as a rite of passage and as something that should be kept behind closed doors. Some are raised to save themselves for marriage, but that is not quite the same thing as being told, straight up, that it's an important, special, and sacred practice. Not just my parents were telling me that (actually, alluding to some of it) I came to the conclusion partly on my own. The spiritual beliefs I gravitated towards all spoke about the importance of joining masculine and feminine; sacred union. Balance. Yin and yang. Tantra. The power of opening the core channel through orgasm. That's what I wanted, and I certainly wasn't going to settle for less. I always said I wasn't waiting for marriage, I was just waiting for a level of devotion. Trust. I very much don't regret that particualr choice, as I'm the only person I know who has had zero bad experiences in the bedroom (or wherever).
But I also understand sexual frustration. I really, really do, so I totally understand why people would seek a casual fling to relieve that tension. I have been tempted lately, I admit, but having expereinced what I have, I just don't know if it really would relieve the tension. I don't think I could be fulfilled by someone who was clueless as to the spiritual aspects of sex, and they take time to learn, not to mention to develop between two people. Part of me dreads the wait, but again, I know it's worth it to be sure things will go well.
But no, it isn't just men. I know that, and I can sort of respect it in a way, I just personally believe there are much better ways to be fulfilled than pure physical... stuff. I'm a pretty unusual person in that respect, though. I still hold out hope that I'm not the only one, but I well could be; at least, in terms of never being casual and then thinking later that it wasn't as fun that way, which I know does happen sometimes. Having this realization/making this choice at my age does not happen very much, I know. It's almost discouraging, but I've taught a few people my views, so I can do it again. Maybe they'll stick next time, too.
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One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.
Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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I really don't know what the average age would be. I didn't lose mine until I was 19 (though as I've said before, I did want it to mean something) and I have a friend who's 23 and still a virgin. Another friend (well, she was a friend) went for it at 16, but it was one of those cases where it really changed her, and I think that's because she wasn't really ready for it. We recently stopped talking because I couldn't stand her attitude anymore. Another friend of mine lost her virginity when she was 14, but it, um, wasn't her choice to do so. She did nothing willingly until about 18. I knew a few people in middle school who were already going at it at 13, and I knew plenty of vigins in high school at 17 and 18. In fact, every single guy I dated in high school was a virgin. Most people in my social circle seemed to fall between 16 and 19, both male and female. Even the sluttiest girl I knew waited til she was 17, then started jumping any boy who would have her. The sluttiest guy I knew I think was 15 or 16, though I met him after the fact and don't remember what he said about it.
So in the people I've known well it ranges from 16-23, and the people I've encountered it ranges from 12-20. Hard to really pick an "average" I would say.
*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.
Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Hard to really pick an "average" I would say.
Agreed. I was just thinking that there might be some kind of general consensus, at least among people on the site. Most of the people I know range from the early teens to the early twenties.
At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.
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Insightful, PhoenixRose...thank you.
I may have been misconstrued in my opinions. I do not believe that physical satisfaction is the ultimate goal between lovers. There is the building up of trust, the ability to converse intelligently (or not) for long periods of time, and tolerance that all come from long-term relationships. And yes, the physical part benefits mightily from all of this. Very similar to your views, but I don't really focus on the spiritual aspect/Yin Yang/Tantra. I prefer not to mix religion and intercourse...or with anything, for that matter. It can be mind-blowing, yes, but I tend to veer away from calling it a joining of spirits or a sacred union. I do not believe one has to study or spend an inordinate amount of time focusing their sexual energy in order to enjoy themselves and be fulfilled by sharing themselves.
I guess what we have here is two different views on sex; spritual vs non-spiritual. Please do not take it as a general dismissive "pah" on my part. I am glad to have this view presented; I just thought it important to compare my view to yours. 
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
I have another question. Body types; what do you prefer? I tend to like some softness in my partner. Not, y'know, really overweight, but not hard and muscle-bound, either. It's just cuddlier and nicer and more fun when you can squeeze someone, or pet them without too much resistance.
Apologies to PheonixRose, as I seem to be consistently replying to her posts, but... well, you gotta hit a reply to someone. :P
On the body-type thing: I actually know very guys, if at all, who prefer the bone-thin waif model look. I'd say... healthy? would be a good term for the ideal? Stereotypically, what do men like? And what are two important features that skinny girls tend to lack? I agree that "subcutaneous softness" is a good term. Bones are turn-off. Plus I got a thing for love handles... In reality, though, I've dated all types of women. Confidence in your own body, and a good smile go a long way with me.
@Spooning: I have yet to find the right position for sleeping. I've got poor circulation anyways, plus I'm a light sleeper so I'm always getting up in the middle of the night. Too much untangling never works well. But spooning seems to work as well as anything.
@the virginity topic: I lost mine at 23. I suppose it was nice to just finally get it over with, but I did feel a bit like Fess Higgins in Jaynestown :) (Shouldn't I feel different?) Plus, of course, it wasn't very good for either involved party.
Actually, I'm one of those guys who likes to wait a bit in a relationship before adding the whole sex thing into the equation. My experience, it's always a bit awkward and not terribly good with someone I don't have much of a connection with yet. That whole sexual tension thing has really killed some of my past relationships. I've found it works best to just deal with it straight out one way or another. Either we get it over with early on, or we agree to take our time and get to know each other first.
Comes to mind, since I'm just at that stage in my current relationship. We've just started seeing each other, and still a bit nervous because of that. I come off in person like I'd be more into casual sex, I guess. So I think it was a relief on both our parts to wait a bit. There's been that whole thing with avoiding making out and being a little more intimate 'cause we were both nervous that the other would want a bit... more :) For me, a lot of it is a matter of how comfortable I am with someone. Also, it was nice to know that we were both on the same wavelength, which is always good sign.
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You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)
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It's great to see that there are a few people out there who do not mind opening up and talking about these issues. I guess it's easier doing it this way rather than in person. But, it still makes me feel at ease with you guys on this sight.
I had posted a couple of days ago about hypothetical questions. Here is one that I heard a friend of ours ask my wife. Is it possible for a person to be in love with two people? What do you guys think? Remember, in love, not just love. I'm interested in hearing what is said.
Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.
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I think it's possible, just not all that likely. Some people have big hearts that have enough room for two people. And other people like to delude themselves into thinking that they do. It takes all kinds, I guess.
At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.
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