Funniest thing you have ever seen on TV or in a movie
POSTED BY: est120
UPDATED: Monday, May 8, 2006 05:55
VIEWED: 23260
PAGE 8 of 9
Wow.
All these posts and noone mentioned the classic:
'Murder by Death'
It's MUCH better when seen with a large group of good friends... Laughter is contagious. We had to pause it several times when we watched it in my dorm room at school so people could breath (about 10 of us packed in cause we had the biggest TV).
Loads of great actors and great lines.
"Now, come back for honorable father!"
"Oh, don't mind that. It's just the cat."
"Good God! Gas!"
"I'm Sorry"
"No, I mean the deadly kind!"
"Well, Sometimes I..."
"What, you had bunz and you did not tell me!"
"I'm a Belgie, NOT a Frenchy!"
"Nobody move till I get back! Sometimes I talk so much I forget to go..."
At least half the lines in the movie are quotable. 
PURE GENIUS!
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dc4bs
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The Court Jester is definitely my favorite funny movie! I've seen it dozens of times since childhood--so usually I start laughing before the jokes because I know they're coming. It's totally appropriate for all ages as well, you can show it to your family. It's got Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone as the villian (he played villians in many Errol Flynn movies that the Court Jester satirizes, so it's even more cool) and Angela Lansbury when she was young and beautiful. My mom first saw The Court Jester when she was pregnant with me. She laughed so hard, gasping, rolling on the floor, that my father ran in thinking she was going into labor!
Enjoy, Amylisai
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There's a great dark comedy called Eulogy, starring Zooey Deschanel, Hank Azaria, Ray Romano, Rip Torn, and quite a few others. The majority of the movie has you laughing fairly consistently all the way through, but not too many side-splitters until the end, when I thought I was going to DIE laughing. I won't spoil it, though, so go rent it. Go! Rent! Rent I say!
Also, the beans around the campfire sequence in Blazing Saddles should satisfy everyone's inner eight-year-old for eternity. :D
Does stand-up comedy count? 'Cause I'm a stand-up addict. Eddie Izzard is a god, Patton Oswalt and Lewis Black are awesome. Zach Galifianakis has the best deadpan one-liners:
"My brother has ADD which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by his shoelaces."
"I like to sit in public places and read the bible, and occasionally just laugh and say 'Oh, bullshit!'"
and my personal favorite: "I like to go to the Olive Garden alone on a Saturday night and have the waiter sing me the Happy Birthday song... and just sit there and cry."
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Just to keep the Kevin Smith thing rolling, here is at least one moment from the remaining flicks not mentioned. I'm limiting myself to one to save time. I could very well post their entire screenplays.
CHASING AMY
Holden: (long lead up to this) You're in love with me.
Banky: (blank look on his face, then realizes) What?
Holden: You're attracted to me. Just as I am, kind of, attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense. We've known each other for so long, we have so much in common.
Banky: Well, I better get going. (gets up) Gotta catch the last couple minutes of "Little House".
(Holden kisses Banky. Eyes bug out, jaws drop, Banky's back on the couch)
Holden: It's something you're gonna have to live with. And that would explain your jealousy of Alyssa, your homophobia, you're sense of humor.
Banky: Jesus, just because a guy has a predeliction towards dick jokes...
DOGMA
Jay: You're breaking up with us? (pause) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, LADY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND AND BREAKING PEOPLE'S HEARTS. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. GUYS LIKE US JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
(A loud scream and a body falls to the ground. Bethany turns around. As the smoke clears, a naked black man is lying on the ground)
Jay: BEAUTIFUL, BIG TITTIED WOMEN JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK
Fred lookalike: Let's kick 'em out. We got a mystery to solve.
Shaggy lookalike: The only mystery here is why we keep taking our cues from a dick in a neckerchief.
Frd lookalike: Keep it up, beatnick. I'll feed you to the fucking dog!!
JERSEY GIRL
[after talking to Gertie, after finding her with Brian without their pants on]
Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [after thinking hard again] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
Gertie: Can we rent a movie?
Ollie: (Quickly) Yes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."
"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."
Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.
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Firefly fans have such good taste--it's been a pleasure reading through the funny memories here and thinking "on yes, loved that one!"
How about, funny things seen online?
An insipid song by a Romanian group reached international fame by being repeatedly parodied online. First check out the original music video here:
http://joi.ito.com/archives/2005/01/18/ozone_madness.html
Take a look at some of the parodies. Then, watch my favorite one:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1012239895370754726&q=LEGO
Some people have too much time on their hands--but thank heavens for us 'cause they're hilarious!!
Cheers, Amy
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I love Fawlty Towers!! One of my favorite shows. But my favorite part was in the second episode, I forget where it's called, when the door to the dinning room "disappears" and Basil is told: "Dont panic! Dont panic!" and he screams: "What else is there to do?!?!" lol that whole episode I was laughing so hard I was crying. Nice to find another Fawlty Towers fan :-)
CAROlYN*
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Quote:
Originally posted by reginaroadie:
Just to keep the Kevin Smith thing rolling, here is at least one moment from the remaining flicks not mentioned. I'm limiting myself to one to save time. I could very well post their entire screenplays.
CHASING AMY
Holden: (long lead up to this) You're in love with me.
Banky: (blank look on his face, then realizes) What?
Holden: You're attracted to me. Just as I am, kind of, attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense. We've known each other for so long, we have so much in common.
Banky: Well, I better get going. (gets up) Gotta catch the last couple minutes of "Little House".
(Holden kisses Banky. Eyes bug out, jaws drop, Banky's back on the couch)
Holden: It's something you're gonna have to live with. And that would explain your jealousy of Alyssa, your homophobia, you're sense of humor.
Banky: Jesus, just because a guy has a predeliction towards dick jokes...
DOGMA
Jay: You're breaking up with us? (pause) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, LADY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND AND BREAKING PEOPLE'S HEARTS. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. GUYS LIKE US JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
(A loud scream and a body falls to the ground. Bethany turns around. As the smoke clears, a naked black man is lying on the ground)
Jay: BEAUTIFUL, BIG TITTIED WOMEN JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK
Fred lookalike: Let's kick 'em out. We got a mystery to solve.
Shaggy lookalike: The only mystery here is why we keep taking our cues from a dick in a neckerchief.
Frd lookalike: Keep it up, beatnick. I'll feed you to the fucking dog!!
JERSEY GIRL
[after talking to Gertie, after finding her with Brian without their pants on]
Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [after thinking hard again] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
Gertie: Can we rent a movie?
Ollie: (Quickly) Yes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."
"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."
Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.
DOGMA
Jay: "Yo man, tell me something about me."
Rufus: "You masturbate more than anyone on the planet."
Jay: "Aw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows."
Rufus: "When you do it, you're thinking about guys."
a shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay
Jay: "Dude, not all the time."
Bethany: "What's he like?"
Metatron: "God? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus."
Bethany: "Sex is a joke in heaven?"
Metatron: "The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too."
Jay: "I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar."
MALLRATS
At a Dating Game-like game show
Brandi: "Second suitor: if we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make?"
Brodie: "Wait, what's whoopee?"
Brandi: "You know, being intimate."
Brodie: "What? Like fucking?"
Brodie: "You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right?"
Stan Lee: "Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead."
Brodie: "DAMN that's hot!"
Jay is reading a Hustler. He shows a spread to Silent Bob
Jay: "Dude, this one looks like your mom."
Silent Bob nods
Brodie: "Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - or sticking my hand in it."
I love Kevin Smith movies.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, d
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I could never, ever chose! I think so many things are funny that almost everythin I watch has a funny moment. Could I even remember them all? And if I did, could I type them all withut causing myself injury? Proably a no to both questions... I'll have to pick something to share.
We all know the Firefly funny, so I won't go into those, much as I love them.
Ah, way back in the day, I was an X-Files fan, and there was a moment I just loved in an episode called "Tooms" about a liver-eating mutant.
Tooms, working as an animal control officer or somesuch, starts stalking toward a potential victim, and agent Mulder just steps in front of him and deadpans "Excuse me." pause "Could you help me find my dog?" Tooms turns away, Mulder's talking to his back, "He's a norweigen elk hound. His name is Heinrich." Tooms is walking away and Mulder yells "I use him to hunt moose!"
I don't know why, but it gets me every time. Was a time all someone would have to do to set me off was say "Moose"
heeheeheeheehee... moose.
Oh yes, and Kevin Smith is classic, loved those moments too. See? Just too many to list...
*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.
Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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Evolution, were they remove the bug from the black guys but
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