On the Way to Persephone #3- Life On Board Serenity
POSTED BY: SameErtia
UPDATED: Monday, May 1, 2006 22:29
VIEWED: 29489
PAGE 8 of 18
"Yer cute when you're drunk." Ertia repeats, and somehow, this is even funnier. It becomes less funny when she doesn't have the co-ordination to pick up potato with chopsticks.
"Hey, y'all are eatin' without me?" Jayne sticks his head in, followed closely Zoe.
Ertia attempts another pick-up effort, only to have a slice of protien sproing out of her chopsticks.
"More on the stove." Pain grunts with his mouthful.
Ertia's brow furrows in concentration. It's just a dang potato! How hard can it be?
Zoe scoops up two bowls, one for herself and one for Wash and heads for the bridge. "You three better not be too drunk to help clean up the cargo bay later."
"I's not trunks. Pains is." Ertia slurs, giving up on table manners and fiercely spearing a helpless piece of potato on the end of her chopstick. "He's cutes that way."
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Quote:
Originally posted by SameErtia:
"I's not trunks. Pains is." Ertia slurs, giving up on table manners and fiercely spearing a helpless piece of potato on the end of her chopstick. "He's cutes that way."
*Pain says to an obviously drunk Ertia*
What? I'm not drunk I'm just a lil' buzzed and besides I'm not the one having problems with their chopsticks. Course I ain't gonna argue with your "cute" statement about me.
*Pain smiles at Ertia as he takes a sip of his meade and almost chokes on it as Ertia falls off her chair she says giggling while still on the floor*
I's fine really I's is.
*Jayne laughs as he eats his food while Pain helps Ertia sit back down in her chair. Ertia drunkenly pokes Pain in the chest as she laughs and says*
You's funnys Painses.
*Pain smiles and says*
Yeah I'm a regular comedian now I really think you should lay off the booze now.
*Jayne chimes in*
Aww come on now she's jus' startin' to make life interestin'.
*Pain looks at Jayne and says*
Yeah well just be glad that there ain't no automatic weapons laying around here or she would make life a bit more interestin'.
*Jayne snorts as Ertia starts laughing at nothing in particular*
*Pain sits back down next to Fly who's starting to become a lil' like Ertia and says to her smiling*
Well this just might be a first. If'n you pass out before I do I just might have to put you to sleep this time.
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WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?
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Somehow, Ertia's managed to actually eat the food on her plate, and leans on the table, slowly reaching for the bottle that Pain and Jayne keep moving just out of her grasp.
She has a bad feeling they could keep this up all evening. Then she notices the letter in front of Fly. "Heya! What's that! Did we get post?"
"Yah! We got post in the middle of a gorram firefight on a dead-ass moon in the middle of the gorram verse!" Jayne mocks her, "You really are drunk!"
"Gimme! Who's it for?" She snags the letter before Fly can grab it. She reads aloud from the envelope. "Wulg."
"Huh?" Jayne growls,"What is that? Russian?"
"I found it in the cargo bay." Fly reaches for the bottle and Jayne hands it to her. "Something familiar.. like I should know..."
"Wulg? How the hell can ya know what a wulg is?" Jayne asks, his usual confusion on his face.
"W. L. G." Pain anunciates for him. "Initials. Any of the Charity crew with those initials?"
Fly shrugs as she takes the envelope back before Ertia drools on it or something. "I dunno. Should we open it? I mean, what if it's personal?"
help! Does anybody have a plan for this thing?
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Out of Character: I believe Fly was going to do something with the letter at least that's what she said to me anyways. On a side note you're a funny drunk. Keep it up. 
*Pain says to Fly as Ertia somehow manages to snatch away the bottle of meade from Jayne and him*
I don't know. You're the one who found it. I think you should read it if'n you want to.
*Pain takes a sip of of his meade, gets up and takes the bottle away from Ertia as she drunkenly smiles and sticks her tongue at him. He offers the bottle to Jayne who takes it, pours some into his glass and hands Pain back the bottle. Pain takes the bottle, looks at how much is left and sits back down still holding the bottle. He pours the remains of the bottle into his glass, looks at Fly and says*
So have you decided on what you're gonna do with that there letter?
*Fly looks up at Pain then at Jayne and Ertia, who's way past plastered and says*
I still dunno give me a few moments to think it over.
*Fly takes a sip of her meade as she ponders what to do*
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WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?
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Ertia snags the empty bottle and stares into it with one eye pressed to the opening.
"Iss empty! You drunked it all!"
"Well, yer drunked enough for all four of us." Jayne belches loudly as Ertia tries holding the bottle upside down to get the last drops out.
Finally she sighs and lets it roll out of her hands. "Y'all are no fun at all!"
"Hey, we let you shoot us today! What do want?" Pain grumps.
Ertia thinks he's even cuter drunk and grumpy, but she doesn't say it. Instead she sprawls over three chairs and hangs her head backwards so she can see their knees under the table. "Want more meades."
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*She gets the letter back and says*
W.L.G. Stands for Wesley Lu Greham.....That is the person who created 13....When XIII took 13's body and shuttle,,,,he brought 13 to him....he is his creator....I .....I.. think I'm feeling too liquored up to open it now.....I'll save it for later...
*She puts it back in her back pocket. She puts her hands on the table and rests her head on them.....*
Fly: Anyone else as tired as I am.....
Pain: Yea, but I really think you should put some food in that stomach of yours before you get sick.....
*He fixes a plate for her and slides it her way. She plays with the food a bit and takes a bite*
Pain: There, better? *Fly just grumbles. She pushes her food out of the way and lays her head on the table again.....*
Fly: I think I should try to find my way to my bunk.....*She closes her eyes. Hears Ertia and Jayne speaking in the background and that is the last thing she remembers*
"Don't forget to call him "Sir." He likes that."
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Ertia sits back up, notices Fly slumped on the table. With a point of her finger that nearly takes out Pain's eye, she slurs, "That woman cants hold her liquer."
"Neither can you." Pain laughs at her as she frowns at him.
"Can too." After a puzzled look around, she starts thinking. "Where is everybody? JRC, Bot-boy?"
"Ya know, you really should stop callin' him that." Pain admonishes. "He's helped us out."
"Yah!" Jayne disagrees, "He helped us out into a whole heap o' trouble! We aughta thank him for the favor. Hold him a parade like he's some kinda hero!"
"Still, we should have a little respect. Who knows how much of 13 is still in there." Pain gives his best 'be nice or I'll hurt you' glare.
Unfortunately, it sends Ertia into another fit of giggles. "Cute when yer grumpy!"
"If that letters gotta do with the man who made him, maybe we aughta look?" Jayne suggests, eyeing Fly's unconscious form.
They don't get the chance to make the decision. Mal strides in and goes straight to the stove to fill his plate. As he comes back to the table he eyes his rather relaxed crew, "Y'all get that cargo bay cleaned yet?"
"Right on its, Capn!" Ertia jumps up. She means to go straight to the cargo bay- until she trips over her own boot and falls flat on her face at Mal's feet. "Oopsie. HI, Capn!"
She rolls over to look up at his disgruntled expression, "Yer cute when yer grumpy, too!"
"Ertia? You been drinkin'?"
"No, sirree! I jest...fell down. Yup. Thas all!"
From the amused grin on his face, Pain isn't gonna bail her out this time.
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*Mal looks over at Fly and then at Pain and says*
Is Fly passed out? Cause she looks passed out to me.
*Pain gets up from his chair, he's starting to feel the effects of the alcohol and says*
Yes sir she is. I'll go take her to her bunk so's that she can rest it off then I'll come back here and help Jayne with Ertia, then I'll go help with the clean up of the cargo bay.
*Mal says still looking at the drunk Ertia*
See that you do. Can't be having none of my muscle passed out drunk when we have some unruly folk in our cargo bay.
*Ertia, still on the floor says*
You's still cutes Pains and you's too Cappy Tightspants.
*Ertia laughs as Pain walks over to Fly, helps her up, puts her left arm over his right shoulder while he wraps his right arm around her waist and proceeds to help Fly to her bunk. He's able to get Fly awake enough to slowly walk her to her bunk, Pain opens the hatch and helps Fly down the ladder. He then carefully lays Fly onto her bed and unlaces her boots, taking them off one by one. He sets her boots down at the foot of her bed, walks over to her and places a kiss on her forehead and says*
You go to sleep now. I'll take care of your cargo bay duties.
*Pain is about to leave when Fly grabs one of his arms, looks at him with blurry eyes, smiles and says*
Thank you for helping me to my bunk. Guess I finally passed out before you....
*Fly falls asleep as she lets go of Pain's arm as Pain smiles and heads up the ladder, he stops halfway and says*
You're welcome Fly you always are.
*Pain resumes climbing out of Fly's bunk, closes the hatch and heads back to the galley to help Jayne with Ertia*
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WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?
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Mal looks down at Ertia. "You gonna stay down there?"
"Uh huh. Comfy." She doesn't get the chance to get settled before Jayne yanks her to her feet and throws her over his shoulder. "OUCH!"
"Quit yer bitchin'." Jayne grumbles. "You know, yer more trouble than your worth. Aughta put ya out the airlock instead in yer bunk."
"Kaylee's bunk." Ertia corrects him, vaguelly remembering that she had to give up her room to one of the newcomers. "Gotta go to Kaylee's. There's a man in my room. OOhhh...maybe we should go to my room! And I'm not sleepy!"
"I'm thinkin' you better be gettin' sleepy." Mal grumbles as Jayne forgets that the doorframe is a little low for the body slung over his shoulder and rams Ertia's back into it.
"OUCH! Capn! SAVE MEeeeeeeeee!"
Mal doesn't look up from his chow. "Night, Ertia."
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The hours are dragging by. JRC has been confined to his bunk by the Doc and the Captain, with two more stitches in his leg plus the Medi-Foam accelerating the healing of the wound. "That foamy stuff does purty well, don't it? Yea, but in the meantime, I'm stuck DOWN HERE, while all the other folk are UP THERE eatin' and drinkin' without me, gorram it. Couldn't partake of the spirits anyway, with these damn pills in my gullet. Gorram Doc. Guess I'll just clean my guns..........AGAIN."
Everyone dies alone.
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