I Need the Ugly Truth-Please Help Me

POSTED BY: RiveR6213
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 15, 2006 01:03
VIEWED: 13129
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CITIZEN

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:33 AM

It's not a requirement too listen to a word I have to say.

Unless it helps, but if it doesn't, don't listen, it's probably stupid.

Or something.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
You should never give powers to a leader you like that you’d hate to have given to a leader you fear

SAMEERTIA

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:43 AM

Gixxer, I'd climb on the pyre with you.
That's just the kind of friend I am.

River, sweetie. RELAX!
Breathe in and out a few times. I'm trying to catch up to this thread and decifer it all but I'm lost.
I can't tell where you're being serious and where you're really just coming undone.

One thing about boards like this one, though, is that people can't hear what you mean. It helps to use the emoticons to express the emotions behind your words.
A simple - can let people know you're just fooling.
Where a - can let people know you've actually really lost it this time.

We're Browncoats. We're family. We're here to support each other, even when we don't all believe and think the same ways.
*hugs*

THEPISTONENGINE

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:48 AM

Here's what I think you need to do. Go to a bar. Meet someone, many someones. Have fun. Be yourself.

Stop looking for help on the forums, find it with other flesh and blood people. Speaking of which, I think there's a hot brunette coming over to my dorm room in a few...

_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

RIVER6213

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:55 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by STDOUBT:
Damn... I wish we could meet up.
Are you an Aries?

Regarding what you said about weakness-
The most tender substance can wear down the mountains.
True strength is gentle.
May you melt.

Aries? No I'm a Taurus. I was born in May, so I think that makes me a Taurus...full of bull and all of that.
Finding out one is crazy is not an amusing affair, but now to the dirty business of finding a shrink.

River

RIVER6213

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Chindi:
welllll in CASE this is a serious thread... I wanted to add that I have never been offended by any of your posts... and in case it is NOT a serious thread.. let me just add that screwing can be wacky fun! so "screw you" COULD be a compliment...

Chindi

This IS a serious thread even though I don't remember making it last night. I think I must have been in a pretty messed up state of mind. I have all these other emails from other forums in my mailbox and most of them are hate mail, so I must have said a lot of pretty nasty things to a whole bunch of people. One guy sent me a swatika, but thats from that hate-site forum, so I dont mind. Anytime I upset those people is a good day for me.

Thanks for not being offended by my many deranged posts. I've never been a go with the crowd kinda person, and that alone has made me more enemies in life than anything else.

Screwing? I haven’t had nor desired sex in 6 years...no sense starting up on that...who needs the headache that comes with human, sexual involvement?

River

GORBISHUN

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:07 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
Okay, okay!!! So I'm a crazy person with a big mouth...sue me. I'm beginning to see that its sort of weird of me coming into this forum and kicking up all the fuss I do...its strange. If the people at my company could see me now they wouldnt know what to think. They never see this insane part of me, and I hope to god they never do. They are used to my Vulcan demeanor, which I practiced for years, and now I have it down to a fine art. The problem is, when I finally make it home, and I'm alone, and you get a couple of glasses of wine into me, I start to act weird. This seems to be getting worse and worse. Not the wine part, but the acting weird part.

I work almost 24/7...I live at my job because I believe that if you want it done right, do it yourself, but I think I'm starting to come unglued. I was sleep walking last week...3 times! I havent done that crap since I was a child! Yep, this is it, this is the big one...I'm going crazy. Its time to go get a shrink and find out what my problem is before I crack up and beat the crap out of someone, or jump off a bridge....I like the beat the crap out of someone idea better though.

I can see it now. I'll go to a shrink, and I'll tell him/her what my problem is, and they will know right there that they will be able to buy that new boat they always wanted, or put all their kids through college with what I'll be paying them for therapy. Maybe they might have me locked up? That wouldnt be a good thing. Those bozo's at my company would ruin my business, and I'll have to break out of the crazy house I'm at just to hunt them all down and impale their collective heads to a telephone pole.

Anyhow, thanks for the nice words you sympathetic souls, watching a crazy person go through their craziness. I honestly don't really remember starting this pathetic thread by the way.

I think I'll go over to the Storm-front, White Supremacy forum and start up an argument there. Those guys really have no sense of humor, and its fun to poke fun at them because they spend way too much time goose-stepping around, looking at photos of hitler, and hating everyone except for their own pathetic selves....I hate them.

Yup! Without a shadow of a doubt I'm crazy...even I can see it now. Why is it that crazy people are always the last to see their craziness?

River

Holy split personality Batman!

You should be a writer. I'm sorry if this is insulting, or makes you feel bad in any way, but that post almost had me pissing myself

. It was just so well written, and "darkly hilarious!"

Again, I'm sorry; I don't think you were trying to be funny. I just can't help it,

Just be yourself and do what you want. Your life is your's to live, however you want.

«°-:-°»
Also... I can kill you with my brain.

RIVER6213

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Cybersnark:
*hugs river*

You're right.

I actually put a fair bit of thought into what I could say that wouldn't sound like a Hallmark card, but that's all I got: You are right.

Mercy, kindness, compassion --these are all crutches for the weak and flawed.

Thing is though, that's what humans are (and Vulcans, and just about any other sapient race that could conceivably exist --and I'm not even sure about animals). That's what the universe makes us. Tiamat knows, I have little patience for humanity either. The best thing I can say is that 95% of them wander through their lives with their eyes half-closed, not wanting to be anything other than dullard robots. Not even "people," but just bundles of pre-determined reactions, about as "alive" as NPCs in a video game. At worst. . .

And yeah, you're crazy. Ain't nothing wrong with that, it just means you're not like anyone else.

I'm not gonna throw platitudes at you: being different sucks. It's not fun, it's miserable, and painful, and scary, whether you admit to knowing fear or not. There may very well be no one else like you on the planet.

But you're here now. See how nobody here's attacking you. Flawed, imperfect, and crazy as you are, you're one of us.

Plain and simple fact is, as long as you exist, the world will have to deal with you. And the moment you leave it, the world will be different (maybe not worse, but maybe not better, but I hereby guarantee this: you will be missed). Don't go just yet, you might miss how it ends.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

I havent had a hug in 6 years, and don't need one, but thanks for the thought. BTW nice post! Such nice, well thought up things to say to the crazy person. I do know that you meant every word, so please dont take my response as sarcasm. Thank you for caring for someone you’ve never met before. You must have a big heart.

And you are right. No one is attacking me, which goes to show how much I know about human nature. I tend to see most people I meet as wolves disguised as sheep, and the moment your back is turned BAM!! in goes the knife, which is why I limited my contact with people 6 years ago.

Thank you for the kind words and point of view. I am going through the yellow pages right now, trying to find a shrink. Are you aware that there a about a billion shrinks in this phone book? I guess crazy people are big business.

River

SAMEERTIA

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:24 AM

Well, nobody NEEDS sex. It can just be an awful lot of fun sometimes.

It does help to have a professional to help work through issues and find resolution. Be sure to check references, and find someone who you feel supports you and who you can work with. The right therapist can save your life. The wrong one can ruin it.

From my opinion, it doesn't sound like you've gone crazy. It sounds like you're under alot of stress at work, and don't have any resources for venting that stress. It's manifesting itself in your mood swings and your sleepwalking.

If at all possible, take a few days off and treat yourself to something good- a day at the beach, check into the local Hilton for a mini-vacation, anything you can do to change scenery and get a break.

Sleepwalking is really scary! Since you sleep-walked as a child, you probably know the tricks already, but I'm gonna list 'em here just in case!

Before you go to bed, put a good thick rubber band on the doorknob running from the doorknob to the faceplate of the door, OR put a wooden block at the bottom of the door (providing it opens inwards) or put painters tape around the door to seal it- ANYTHING to baffle yourself if you try to get out. Sleepwalkers tend to do what-ever is normal for them, so just locking the door means your asleep mind will simply firgure out how to unlock it.

(I was once found wandering a block from home. Nice officer asked what I was doing outside barefoot and I told him I wanted some pie. Thank heavens my roommate was already looking for me!)

Do a series of yoga or light stretches before bed to relax the body and get your mind in sync. This will help relieve the stress that's causing the sleepwalking.

If you have stairs in your house, block the top of them before you go to bed. A child-gate, or big cardboard box (big enough you won't trip over it) will work very well. I've fallen downstairs in my sleep- kind of a rude awakening.

If you're a 'doer', put tape on the handles of the water faucets and the fridge door, etc.

Like I said, all stuff you probably know, but it's important to keep yourself safe!

RIVER6213

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
It's not a requirement too listen to a word I have to say.

Unless it helps, but if it doesn't, don't listen, it's probably stupid.

Or something.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
You should never give powers to a leader you like that you’d hate to have given to a leader you fear

What are you taking about? You’re yelling at me a month ago had an interesting effect…it made me cry, hard. No one has spoken to me that way in, well, never, except for my mother, and that was a thousand years ago. It was a no-holds bar point of view by yourself based on all the things you read that I posted. And you basically gave me both barrels. I experienced something I have never experienced in my life…I was ashamed, so naturally what came next was something I normally don’t do. I wrote an apology posts. That shook me up, and at that moment, I started to become suspicious about the nature of my character….something was up with me and of course, I was the last one to find out.

One last thing. So far all of what I’ve read of your posting and writings here on this board has been anything but stupid. You are really smart and I respect that. People respect you here.

River

RIVER6213

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:44 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SameErtia:
Gixxer, I'd climb on the pyre with you.
That's just the kind of friend I am.

River, sweetie. RELAX!
Breathe in and out a few times. I'm trying to catch up to this thread and decifer it all but I'm lost.
I can't tell where you're being serious and where you're really just coming undone.

One thing about boards like this one, though, is that people can't hear what you mean. It helps to use the emoticons to express the emotions behind your words.
A simple - can let people know you're just fooling.
Where a - can let people know you've actually really lost it this time.

We're Browncoats. We're family. We're here to support each other, even when we don't all believe and think the same ways.
*hugs*

Thats very strange! I never even noticed those what did you call them? Emoiticons? I never noticed them at all. I'm going to have to try them out once I figure out how to use them!

I really wish I were fooling around, but it appears that I'm crackers, nuts, crazy, an emotional cripple, a burned out life form, a shame to decent society, therefore, I have to do something about it because sooner or later, an event may take place for myself that will be very unpleasent.
I've been going through the yellow pages in search of a shrink. There are so many!!! How do you decide which one is right for you? This is gonna get expensive, but what do I have to lose right? Whoever I pick better know how to fight!

Sorry to bring my personal BS to all of you nice people, but I have created such an isolated life for myself in the past 6 years. This is as close as I let people get to me...this is the safest way for me to communicate with other people. Any other way and I become a Vulcan.

River

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