Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 17:49
VIEWED: 58403
PAGE 13 of 28
That's a sweet story! 
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
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BruisersMom, that sounds a lot like what I go through! Most guys who approach me at the bar are total sleazeballs. And those who appear to be nice end up just wanted a physical relationship with no strings attached (I had something like this happen a few weeks ago and was very discouraged, because I thought he really was a nice guy).
I've looked in my closet, in the cabinets, in the trunk of my car, and under the bushes for nice guys, but I haven't found any yet....
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I love my Captain 
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All right, as a guy who has been called nice and is all-too familliar with the things presented in this thread, I ask you nice women a question:
What should we say to you to distinguish us from the pool of drunken idiots, but that doesn't instantly turn you off to the thought of having a conversation with us? Perhaps if we knew what types of things would lessen rejection, we might be more willing to come out of hiding.
"You are on the Global Frequency."
http://www.frequencysite.com
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com
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It's so sad that he turned out to be a sleaze but I'm not suprised. I had a girlfriend who dated a lot of guys from her favorite Irish pub and she gave up on it after a while because she found them all wanting a physical relationship and nothing more. Watching her go through men from the pub, it seems like there are a lot of guys who don't want a relationship ever or just ended a relationship and are on the rebound.
Or, I had a different girlfriend who dated an Irish singer who worked in the pub. Turned out all that he wanted to do was sing Irish music which would've been fine if it paid the bills so that he didn't have to mooch cigarettes, food and shelter off of my friend who was dating him and friends. My girlfriend tried to talk him into getting a day job but he wouldn't and she soon realized that his other friends had tried too to no avail. She dumped him when she realized that he was just going to hang around as long as he was getting sex and free cigs.
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
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Quote:
Originally posted by Barclay:
All right, as a guy who has been called nice and is all-too familliar with the things presented in this thread, I ask you nice women a question:
What should we say to you to distinguish us from the pool of drunken idiots, but that doesn't instantly turn you off to the thought of having a conversation with us? Perhaps if we knew what types of things would lessen rejection, we might be more willing to come out of hiding.
"You are on the Global Frequency."
http://www.frequencysite.com
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com
Speaking for myself (and who knows if I actually have the same ideas as other women?), I think something sincere and friendly, but not sleazy, is the best bet. For example, I think it was ChrisIsAll who said he approached a girl and just told her he had been noticing her all night. That's cute, not too stalker-ish, and definitely not sleazy. Pickup lines are sleazy. Grabbing at me is sleazy. But friendly conversation, and actually listening to what I say, is flattering.
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I love my Captain
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okay I'm gonna try to put in my 2cents.
Since forever I've had a problem talking to people. I used to joke it was terminal, it felt like it was killing me. I've since gotten better but by no means "out of my shell" Constant compliments have been "nice" guy + cute. I think average in terms of looks. I have been in relationships before, just not very many or overly long. Some family members believe I'm gay because I haven't had a girl friend since, well it's been a long while since anyone other than me has taken hold of my plow.
I spent 8 years in the navy. In the beginning there was a girl. I was stationed on the east coast, she was in Seattle area and young. Long distance relationships dont work. While in the military I wasn't comfortable starting a relationship. For me, I want to be there for her and I want her to be there for me. Not very likely when you are gone @ half the year. Since then I have gotten my life back together and got myself into a position that I was comfortable seeing people. After getting out I was living with the folks gettin back on my feet. I have asked some women in my area out, some I thought were interested, I got some signals, so far none said yes. Where the hell was I going with this?
My sister is convinced I'm waiting for a supermodel. Nope, most are just to damn skinny. I've made a habit of going to local sci-fi conventions.(creation cons in Seattle area) The Xena one really threw me. lots of women, just not into men. I usually go with my nephew. Kindof a bonding thing for us. He's really cute, isn't that suppose to be like the puppy thing in the park,(oooh factor or something). I'm not really picky, just not looking for anything, and although sex would be great, not so mucha priority as a friend, companion. Did any of this make any sense? I'm rambling again aren't I?
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Someone needs to start a masculinist movement (replete with men burning jock straps) (not very original, stole that from Red Dwarf).
It's odd to me in this day and age to see and hear women still calling men villains in the dating world.
Who emasculated who? And who wants to effeminize who?
Or who effeminated who and who wants to emasculize who?
(did I just invent a word?)
XG
No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.
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Quite a lot of us are in hibernation, sometimes due to confidence, sometimes due to tending to past wounds. Sometimes a bit of both.
Hell, my luck is pretty bad, but still better than a lot of guys'.
My amused outlook is that I ALWAYS pick the girls that are:
A) Psychotic.
B) Taken.
C) Lesbian/Bi.
or
D) All of the above.
The last one I was with gutted me something fierce. Yo-Saff-Bridge couldn't have done a finer job.
I was only 20 too.
To cut it short, we'd been close as could be for three months, and all of a sudden, she sent me an SMS (AKA cell text message) telling me it was over.
I found out why when she invited me out to the city soon after getting rid of me. And I planned to at least try one last time to win her back.
I found out on the day that she had also invited a guy we both knew from work (we worked in different divisions, same company). This didn't completely set off alarm bells.
We also met up with two of her friends at the city's Showground festival.
Cue now definite ex-girlfriend and guy from work kissing away as if I was like the Predator and not visible to either couple at all.
And after this display she talked to me like nothing happened, actually expecting the fifth wheel that had been crushed under her heel TWICE now to follow her/them!
Either she was thick as two bricks, or she KNEW what she was doing.
I made my excuses and got the hell OUT of there.
That was three years ago now. Not a date since/yet.
So there's one answer. Some of us had exes as bad as(or worse than) Yo-Saff-Bridge.
*Smokes from the Satanic Heel Print*
As a final word though, I can say, as put off as I have been, I DO want to give dating a try again.
And perhaps someone with likes/dislikes closer to mine might help, who knows?
*Aims to try his luck with Geek!Grrrrls*
--------------------------------------------------
"Hey, support it best you can! I believe supporting this as far as we can will get Serenity restarted. Right now seems VERY "Out Of Gas", and the Fans are Mal. We need to get her running to get the Big Damn Button pushed."
"I don't care what you believe in! Just BELIEVE!"
- Self Quote from a reply to a post about Serenity
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Wow, XeroGravity, you have my head spinning, haha ;D
Another point about lack of nice guys (or at least me): I was recently told by some guys that this girl that works the same place I do was mad about me. They said even they could see the heavy hints she was dropping me for a while now. I don't know why none of them mentioned it until she gave up and went with some other guy (she's rather beautiful, no problem with getting men).
My point is that I literally have approximately no clue when it comes to women and their "hints," and my method of hinting to them is apparently ineffectual, as something that would be significant to me doesn't set off anything for them.
Yet another reason that my two relationships have been with women that more or less smacked me over the head with their interest.
---
inch towards daylight
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Plus a lot of those guys are already MARRIED. Nice guys tend to do that...
Or they're gay...
Which I guess they could be married too...
But only in Vermont...
Is it Vermont?
Adam
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