Destiny: Mayhem, bugs, and foam...(Episode 7)
POSTED BY: CastIronJack
UPDATED: Thursday, November 10, 2005 17:55
VIEWED: 25199
PAGE 7 of 17
Now that I've done my google homework, I must say that Lexa Doig beats Jimmy Kimmel... but to each his/her own :-) Personally I'd be happy if Legolas paid Serenity another visit rather than Trebek, but hey, I'm crazy so what do I know? 'Course, then I'd have to fly into a wild rage and kill Serenity so I could have Legolas for myself... that's a story line I don't want to write.
Amylisai, foamy sister of Destiny
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Sorry, Orlando Bloom's a little highbrow for this crew. The prerequisites are either A) odd(such as Alex Trebek) or B) Known only by rabid fan geeks(such as Lexa Doig).
If they've made the Enquirer, they're just TOO popular!
Jack, Chief Nurse of Destiny
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Maybe Slaythis is a fan of our "adventures"...
"Maybe Needy is hungry? Think he'd like some marshmallows? Everyone likes marshmallows."
Safe opens a bag and using long handled tongs, proceeds to put marshmallows into Needy's mouth.
"Ever play 'Fuzzy Bunny'? It's a game where you put marshmallows in your mouth and say fuzzy bunny after each one. the trick is to be able to say fuzzy bunny with the most marshmallows."
Safe stuffs the fourth mallow in..."We're going for a record here people!"
Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny
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To heck with only marshmellows! Let's get some chocolate syrup and some graham cracker crumbles!
And a hot spoon to stir it up and make it gooey!
Amy intercepts the chocolate syrup. Jack chases her around to retrieve it, but he only does so after she has a generous swig herself.
Hey Needy, you should probably come back soon, Smore death may be tasty, but it's not pretty!
Jack, Chief Nurse of Destiny
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This bump is designed specifically to shake the dust off this HILARIOUS thread.
Please stay tuned.
MMMMM....S'mores.....
Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny
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BUMP!! Dammit!!
Hello?? Echo...echo...sound of pin dropping. Tumbleweeds blow by..
Sigh....*Looks around at the cardboard cutouts of fellow crew members*
Why, hello Jazaf. How have you been? *Poorly mimics Jazaf's voice* "Why I'm fine and you Safe?"
My these are mighty fine chocolate muffins Flechette *Poorly mimics Flechette's voice* "thank-you Safe. You are as kind as you are handsome."
What's that crazy Dr. Me?? No...you are the truly funny one, that bit with the chainsaw had me in stitches. Needy too Haha.
Needy, you charming rascal, that's a fetching outfit. You didn't "borrow" any of it from Serenity did you?
Soul, this is one fine ship you have here, you literary genius you!
Amy, you are too kind laughing at all my jokes. And such a lovely laugh..
Greek, alas, I hardly knew ye.
Serenity and Jack, beauty & the beast, fellow goofballs through and through. Jack I could use your help on the tree..
*Sighs again. Looks around at the cutouts dressed in various odds and ends of clothing, and quietly sips his Darjeeling tea from a little pink cup. Pinky up, mind you.*
Safeat2nd, Forlorn Chief Handyman of Destiny
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What? I'm still here.
I've just been a bit...occupied.
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/
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Needy still stares up from his retraints, unmoved by the sundae in his mouth. Disgusted by the lack of response, Jack gets the crew's shop vac and sucks it out.
The rest of the crew have devoured the rest of the sundae madness, with the couples stealing a can of whipped cream each and heading for parts unknown.
Soon the rest of the crew follows suit and Jack is left alone with the catatonic Needy and the mess of trampled panic that had been the alien bug invasion.
One of the infirmary's scanners comes down from the ceiling, unbeknownst to Jack, and begins to scan the lewd photograph of Lexa Doig pinned neatly to the infirmary wall.
In Flechette's room, Jayne wakes up gently and steals away to the cargo bay.
Another screen turns on as Jack slaves away on the floor. It is Bubbles, unscarred by her attentions from the crew. She narrows her eyes at Jack and her face begins to transform.
The Cortex flairs to life on it's own. Various topics flash through the screen, digestible only by an artificial lifeform or computer program.
Topics of note: 'How to create your own lovebot', 'How to exterminate humans in space', 'The complete works of Lexa Doig', 'How to seduce men when you're a man-hating robot that wants only revenge', 'How to take over a Firefly's guidance systems and another robot that isn't you to build a new robot body to replace the one that got blown up by a BFG, sucked through a shop vac, and whose confetti-like remains were ejected into space', and finally, 'How to build your own BFG.'
At the helm, Jazaf hits the Cortex when he realizes that it's on.
It shuts off immediately.
"That was weird."
Jack, Chief Nurse of Destiny
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Lovebot...does that come with the number 53 painted on it's side?
HEY!! Wait-a-minute. The people are back!! Wahoo!
Safe hastily tries to hide the cardboard cutouts and any evidence of a tea-pity party.
Safe adopts an exagerated manly swagger, clears his throat and in what he hopes comes across as a gruff voice says "Yo, Jack....watcha doin' hunh? Hunh?". Winks broadly at Serenity, "Hey babe."
With his newly blackened eye, Safe waits to be handed his stupid sign...
Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny
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Jack hands him a "With Stupid" shirt, whose arrow points not to the side, but up.
With the odd mood that Safe is in, Jack manages to escape a stranglely brotherly hug, and retire to his bunk after finishing the infirmary.
He sighs deeply when his boots keep sticking to the plated walkway and begins to mumble something about a powerwasher.
At the helm, Jazaf sets the autopilot and also goes to bed. As soon as he leaves the bridge, the lights go dark and the screens start accessing local star charts. A planet flickers on one screen and Jazaf's coordinates change to match.
Jack, Going Down of Destiny
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