Destiny-Episode 6: Return of the Browncoats
POSTED BY: CallMeSerenity
UPDATED: Thursday, October 6, 2005 12:57
VIEWED: 26089
PAGE 11 of 19
*waves*
Hello! I'm in peril here! My butt's still swollen (more so) due to the extremely nasty sting by a Wasp... or a mosquito... or a spmosquito - whatever that is
Can someone please help me? I don't want to mutate and grow wings! Well, the growing wings thing could be handy, but then I'd have to buy new clothes, or cut my others ones up so the wings can have some room
I would ask the dr for help but it seems he would be more interested in seeing what I mutate into than help stop it.
You want some peril? I'm your peril. If you don't help me, or send people off on a mission to find a cure, then I might just have to kill everybody on board. It's nothing personal, I just think that if my butt doesn't "unswell", then I might just lose my mind (must be where my brain is)
"All pain and no play makes Needy a crazy boy whore"
Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny
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I guess giving you your squirt-gun back, which I modified, would be a bad idea.
Let me re-think it, this may take awhile so sit back relax and enjoy the inflight movie and free peanuts.
Hmmm.... to arm or not to arm the crazy and potentially mutatable boy whore.....
Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny
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You all want I should knock him unconscious? That would stop the whining.
(Just kidding Needy! You know I love you, right? In a non-client-platonic way, of course. I don't want what you're sellin'. Not with that swollen backside, anyway. Sorry. Sorry. It's just so very easy. I'm going to try harder.)
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
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Snaps on some latex gloves.
"Looks like we're going to have to operate!" Jack says of Needy's affliction, "We'll have to remove the affected area."
TRM puts on a surgical mask, "Indeed. Pass the chainsaw."
Jack, Chief Nurse of Destiny
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TheRealMe revs the chainsaw a couple of times.
"COOL! I've always wanted to hold one of these in my hands!"
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TheRealMe starts singing Weird Al Yankovic's song, "Like a Surgeon" at the top of his lungs. Then TheRealMe closes his eyes and swings the roaring chainsaw in a wide arc. Luckily, Jack ducks in time to avoid decapitation.
The chainsaw's chewing teeth lightly brush over Needy's quivering posterior, neatly slicing off the mutated blemish but touching nothing else.
TheRealMe opens one eye to look.
"Hey! He's still alive!"
TheRealMe, Doctor of Destiny!
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Some of you want peril? Goodness, folks! We have all the peril that we can handle over on the Sereni-Tree thread!
In deep space, two of our crew (Emma and Rat) have been captured by aliens, ThatWeirdGirl and Jayne-clone2 face something strange on Emma and Rat’s derelict shuttle, and an ominous blip is approaching Destiny’s Shadow!
Back on Earth-That-Still-Is, a village near the grounded Sereni-Tree is being attacked by Reavers, with two of our crew (PsychicRiver and Piffle101) nearby in mortal danger.
This would be a perfect time to join us, if you like. You could be refugees from the village that the Reavers are attacking, and can easily meet up with PsychicRiver and Piffle by running into the forest where they are hiding.
To quickly catch up on events in the Sereni-Tree, I suggest that you read TheRealMe’s Guide to the Sereni-Tree in the “Sereni-Tree among dandelions” thread, Number 28:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=11502
Then read the current thread, Number 30: “Sereni-Tree: Flight of the Firefly”:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=12357
That should be enough. Though you can also take a look at the thread between them, Number 29: “Sereni-Tree: a day at the races”
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=12057
Or you can take a look at the summaries toward the end of the “Guide to the clubhouse/treehouse/Sereni-tree threads”:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=11877
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Jazaf heard the singing and followed the voice to the infirmary. Just before he could join for the chorus TRM swings his chainsaw. The mutated blemish flies through the air and lands square on Jazaf's chest.
He panics.
'Ahhhh! what in the hell is this!?!?' he screeches as he slaps the mutation off of him.
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Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree 
Navigator on Destiny 
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The mutated blemish scampers off at blinding speed and dives into an air vent.
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"Is it gone?" Needy asks.
"Well," Jack passes Needy some pills, "Yes and no."
TRM pauses, "Would that be 'yo' or 'yeo'?"
Jack shakes his head, "Do I really have to be the bedside manner ALL THE TIME?"
TRM begins coddling his chainsaw with cute baby noises.
Needy looks on, distressed, "What's that doing in here?"
"What?" Jack tries to conjure innocence.
"The chainsaw."
"Ummm," Jack stumbles, "Self-defense?"
"Oh," Needy says, "Makes sense."
Jack has the reaction typified by the mental comment; 'Is he really that dumb or am I really that good?'
"What did you mean 'yes and no?'" Needy stands up painfully, "Is it gone?"
"It's gone alright," TRM chortles, "It's just still alive."
"What?" Needy says, "I thought you said that it was just a space mosquito."
"Well," Jack hops from foot to foot, "It was. But before he left, TRM had been doing some genetic blending of insect DNA and common refrigerator condiments."
Needy looks shocked, "Not Worcestershire sauce?"
"I'm afraid its worse than that," Jack says, "Catalina dressing."
Needy squeaks, "God save us."
Jack, Official "Bad News" Man of Destiny
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