Guide to the Clubhouse / Treehouse / Sereni-Tree Threads
POSTED BY: TheRealMe
UPDATED: Friday, August 15, 2008 10:47
VIEWED: 17567
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10) THE SERENI-TREE CLUBHOUSE
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8736
Both ThatWeirdGirl and Montanagirl (as her apprentice) practice their “feminine wiles” upon TheRealMe, taking turns feeding him bites of fruit-covered waffles. TheRealMe discovers that he has no defense whatsoever against this attack, but that doesn’t seem terribly important to him.
But TheRealMe makes the mistake of telling TWG that she is “wrong”, and she quickly departs for the company of SimonWho in the sauna. TRM was referring to her song in the previous thread about a woman giving up her personality for her man, but perhaps he was insufficiently clear about what he meant. In any case, Montanagirl claims to have won the contest of wiles, and there is no disagreement.
Ebonezer appears to offer sage wisdom. ThatWeirdGirl sings The Ebo Song. TheRealMe attempts to explain his earlier statements, but nobody seems to care, so he decides to fight Ebo for the remaining waffles. Sadly, by this time Ebo has eaten them all!
Mai arrives to point out that Fredrick is a boy dinosaur, so wonders where we have been getting the dino eggs? (Actually, they were T-Rex eggs from the mated pair we encountered.) Then she suggests that we continue the pageant of bizarre outfits, but wants to try something original and new. TheRealMe offers the idea of a gown made entirely of living butterflies. She likes the idea, and goes off to change, but has a little trouble getting the new gown on. TheRealMe whistles and his trained butterflies fly in to take up their positions all over Mai’s body. She likes the bizarre gown. It is slightly ticklish, but kind of nice.
In return for pancakes and waffles, SimonWho showers us with scones, complete with real butter, whipped cream, and home made strawberry jam (though not scones of the fruit-filled variety, as SimonWho is into the purity of the scone, and fruit-filled ones apparently are abominations). He also brews tea. Cozen sings The Scone Song for us.
Rat wakes up, wondering what he missed. When told, what he wanted most was an apricot scone! Ebo wakes up too, and offers to fight TheRealMe for scones. But TRM doesn’t care, since, in his experience, it is no co-incidence that “scone” rhymes with “stone”. SimonWho offers a description of a “true” scone that makes any mouth water. TRM proceeds to fight Ebo for the scones. Ebo dashes back under the pool table with an entire plate and barricades herself there with cushions.
Cozen delivers to Montanagirl some brand-new spiffy snakeskin boots, made from that Jurrasic snake from the Land of the Lost. In helping her tug them on, he accidentally falls off the floating air-ship and into the ocean. After admiring her new boots, Montanagirl throws Cozen a floatie.
Having heard tell of the “wiling” that occurred earlier in the thread, Elwoodmom stops by to offer motherly advice about the “birds and the bees”. “Not another speech!” Mal-licious rolls her eyes into the back of her head. (Mom doesn’t like that kind of attitude, young lady!) TheRealMe assures Elwoodmom that, considering his luck with women, there was absolutely no danger of anything happening like THAT! Ebo gets all excited about Mom visiting, grabs her by the wrist, and proudly shows her the pillow cushion fort under the pool table. Mom pats Ebo on the head and gives her approval. Ebo beams.
It being close to Groundhog Day, SimonWho wonders about the accuracy of using rodents to predict weather. TheRealMe assures him that it will be 100% accurate as soon as his orbital weather control lasers are perfected. As a rodent himself, Rat is overjoyed to find out that he can forecast the weather.
Montanagirl has a bad day (which included the breaking of her truck’s door) and requests “a gorram joke”. A number of us attempt to comply. This leads to SimonWho feeding ThatWeirdGirl a number of cream pies (with his strong arm from across the room). Ultimately, Monty Python saved the day.
It is at this time that TheRealMe realizes that Cozen has been dr
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11) RECOVERY ON THE SERENI-TREE CLUBHOUSE
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8836
With the Battle for the Pool Table over, recovery can begin. Not only must the Sereni-Tree’s extra-dimensional folding and other dodgy science be repaired, but there is a LOT of Spam that needs cleaning up. But at least Ebonezer has her nest back! While Ebo is happy to have her nest back, she is somewhat annoyed at its current state.
Whimpering, ThatWeirdGirl falls into a catatonic state. Apparently the Spamic carnage was too much for her gentle sensibilities. Meanwhile, Mal-licious sings the Spam Song. Montanagirl endures her rescue from Cozen’s pleasurable torture, but at least offers TheRealMe and Rat bonus points for the Princess Bride references. Montanagirl takes ThatWeirdGirl behind the bar where she can’t see as much splattered Spam. She gives the oblivious TWG an untouched can of Spam, in hopes that the healing may begin. TWG giggles and begins muttering to herself, rocking back and forth cradling and talking to the precious can of Spam.
A recovered Cozen, still dripping in Spam, offers affection to various of those present. When Cozen thanks Mai for the public nekkidness, Mai protests that it wasn’t really her idea. TheRealMe considers the possibility that Cozen is his evil twin. Finally, Cozen scrapes layers Spam off of his body, shapes it into a vaguely heart-shaped form, and gives it to ThatWeirdGirl as a present.
TheRealMe gives Captain Ebonezer his report, and then arranges for the Common Room to be cleaned by some trained butterfly thrusters and the recovering Ebo Golem. When he discovers ThatWeirdGirl still in her Spam-induced delirium, he feels very guilty. He takes TWG down to the Main Cargo Bay to the stash of 40 tons of Spam that TheGreyJedi left behind. TheRealMe cleans both Spam and tears off TWG, combs the tangles out of her hair, and sets her up on the deck with a blob of Spam and a set of carving and sculpting tools (since she had earlier admitted to being an expert Spam-carver). He puts a bottle of
Pepsimilk next to her, takes a lemonade for himself, and begins his vigil.
SimonWho approves of decorating the Common Room pink for Valentine’s Day, but then notices the texture! 
He offers some comforting thoughts to TWG. For the first time, he reveals his dimension-bending Blue Box!
Rat takes the Spam floor sweepings from the Ebo Golem and begins to make us some chili! 
In celebration of Valentine’s Day, Montanagirl offers minioning services to the various gents of the Sereni-Tree. SimonWho is the first to be massaged into oblivion.
In the Main Cargo Bay, ThatWeirdGirl eventually recovers her senses, and asks for suggestions on what to carve her Spam into. TRM wakes with a start, happy that TWG is coherent again. TRM suggests carving the blob of Spam to look like either a can of Spam, or else into an effigy of Mal-licious. TWG considers a lamb or a herd of beagles. Mal-licious reminds us that beagles have smallish droppings.
TheRealMe gets in line after SimonWho for attention from MontanaGirl, where he proceeds to melt into a liquid form.
There is some talk about lunch at the North Carolina Big Damn Movie Premiere Party (NCBDMPP). ThatWeirdGirl volunteers to chaperone Ebo.
Talk somehow turns to food in general, and of Spam. SimonWho describes some odd gold-flecked British foodstuffs. Then TWG and SimonWho start playing video games. Later Ebo joins in as Calvinball Twister is begun. TWG adds pie-throwing to the game rules.
ManiacNumberOne pokes his head in to put in some multi-level super slides (no doubt this is the origin of the slides in the water park). TWG eagerly tries one out, but hurtles off into thin air as she realizes it’s not completely installed yet. Luckily, SimonWho grabs her before she can fall far.
We then ask ourselves important questions: Coke or Pepsi? Mike or Joel?
Montanagirl starts looking at our Chinese Zodiac signs, since they were talking about such things on Mal-lici
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12) THE SERENI-TREE “LOVE SHACK”!!!!!!!
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8950
TheGreyJedi finishes BERTHA and sets her on the roof beside MaRTHA. Then he creates a floating control chair with HUD display, controls for both weapons, and a cupholder for the very last Guiness. This is the origin of his hovering engineering command chair of later threads. Grey takes up his accustomed position on the roof of the Sereni-Tree airship.
After the antics of Static and ThatWeirdGirl, Ebo examines her pool table for… uh… “damage”.
TheRealMe is annoyed that the title of the new thread refers only to the two luckiest of the Sereni-Tree’s inhabitants. However, he does promise to share the DVD royalties with the pair. It seems that he took the liberty of setting cameras up at various angles around ThatWeridGirl and Static. However, he will require a lot of time editing the images… weeks… months, maybe. 
(TheRealMe will be in his bunk.)
TheRealMe goes to the roof to try to convince Grey to let him fire one of the new weapons… or at least watch. Ebonezer, ever drawn to explosions and destruction in general, joins them on the roof. She thinks leaving the Common Room is prudent in case that area suddenly acquires an NC-17 rating and she is forced to gouge her eyes out. Grey remarks that she’s likely to lose an eye in the test firing, anyway. Montanagirl joins them. She is honored to have MaRTHA named after her, and wonders if we can throw a cow with MaRTHA. Grey informs her that cows only work with catapults, not trebuchets.
Getting into the spirit of the new thread’s title, SimonWho shares with us a number of things that HE loves.
Puffing on his cigar and sporting a maniacal grin, Grey pulls a trigger. A deafening explosion splits the air as BERTHA launches an impossibly large shell into the stratosphere. TheRealMe starts whistling his approval and applauding until he wonders what Grey was aiming at. Grey chews on the end of his cigar, still grinning like a madman, and giggles. “FOOOSHIFOOOM!!!” In orbit high above, “Niska’s skyplex exploderizes into a bajillion flaming chunks”. TheRealMe resumes his clapping, and is joined by Montanagirl. SimonWho hopes that the explosion got Niska too, else he might come looking to pay us back some day.
Then Grey slips a pair of darkly tinted goggles over his eyes, spits out the cigar stub, and cranks up the power level on BERTHA to full. Sparks flare, and the cannon is outlined in light as the hum builds greatly in volume and frequency. Grey slams his fist down on a huge red button and…
…nothing happens.
Rat grumbles, saying he should have been allowed to help Grey earlier. TheRealMe puts on dark sunglasses, just in case.
Meanwhile, Static and ThatWeirdGirl continue their activities. Static takes the Guiness and TWG, and “drinks deeply of them both”. Static wonders if Mal-licious will give them a thread hijacking diploma. Mal-licious reminds them that this is the Love Shack thread and that Static is shacking up with the lovely TWG. That IS the topic of the thread, so no hi-jacking went on! TWG argues that the “shacking” began in the previous, “recovery” thread. In any case, TWG decides to go take a shower to get all the Gatorade sticky off her. She points out to Static that she got some handcuffs from Kaysky, but not the key! Static smiles wickedly as he is led off by TWG (they are cuffed together) and wonders if he gets to help with all the “fun to reach” spots.
Jake7 arrives, mouth open in amazement at all the changes that have occurred since she was last around in the days of the “Forgotten Not a Guy/Girl Clubhouse”. She looks around for some food. Rat offers her a rootbeer.
Ebo describes a dream where someone in it asks if she wants to meet the real me, and she laughs and says that she already knows him! At that point, she realized that it was just a dream.
ManiacNumberOne points out that it is good when you realize that you're in a dream, because you can take control of it. “On
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13) USS SERENI-TREE, AKA THE “LOVE BOAT”
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8972
After some work, TheGreyJedi brings the fusion plant online to power the normal amenities, though propulsion and weapons will take a while to add.
Rat laments that his Mental Ward idea did not catch on. TheRealMe points out to him: “Actually, there are several realities that may or may not be true: 1) The Dream Machine is disabled and we are free. 2) The Dream Machine still controls us and is only making us THINK that we are now free. 3) We are all crazy, in a mental ward, with Rat as our orderly. 4) None of this exists and we are just entering stuff on the internet.”
“However, I firmly believe that ThatWeirdGirl exists, and not as a computer program.”
Rat, seeing “Love Boat” in the title of the new thread, wants to be “Gopher”, especially since the actor who played Gopher was elected to Congress. Montanagirl points out that “Cooter” from Dukes of Hazard was also elected to public office, so Rat has trouble deciding which to be. Montanagirl decides to be Daisy Duke, and thinks they need to find a “General Lee” to drive around in. Rat considers this, and asks TheGreyJedi to build a shuttle out of a red ‘69 Dodge Charger with the Confederate “Stars and Bars” painted on it (and with a horn that plays “Dixie” Montanagirl adds). Grey agrees.
Ebonezer declares her pool table off limits to the activities of Static and TWG. Static suggests that Ebo could probably have her pick of guys from FFF.net if she liked. Ebo considers this and draws a line in front of the pool table. “Alrighty, the line starts here!” TheGreyJedi suggests that we ALREADY crossed the line. Ebo tells Grey to get out of the way of potential line-makers. There is some Warner Brothers antics between Static and Grey. When the protective Grey doesn’t budge, Ebo draws ANOTHER line.
Static and ThatWeirdGirl dry themselves off from their shower, get into matching flight suits, and head off to the Sereni-Tree’s cockpit. He takes a seat and “twg plops down on Static's lap and reaches for the control stick thingy.” Grey reminds them that the engines are still dead, and TWG starts thinking of other distractions.
Mai is confused if we are a boat or a plane or a tree. SimonWho explains, and then jumps to the front of the Ebo line, and suggests that Ebo should be using the Static / TWG couple for guidance. TheRealMe goes up to Ebo’s line, but does NOT cross the line. He suggests that most of the Sereni-Tree’s crew (including himself) are too old to court the young Ebo. Ebo responds by posting a GIGANTIC picture of herself with her new hair color of “Jean-Grey-Red”. Static comments that Ebo is definitely “on the hotter side of tasty” and others agree that Ebo is quite the looker. Indigo especially likes the color. SimonWho backs down from Ebo-courting once he realizes that she is only 16. TheRealMe allows that Ebonezer is (searches for a word that could properly and legally come from a man old enough to be her father) “cute”.
TheGreyJedi lands in the newly-made Shuttlecraft R. E. Lee, and informs Rat that it is ready. TRM asks for two more such vehicles, since Deep Space Nine had three runabouts. This is the origin of the Sereni-Tree’s shuttles General Lee (painted with the Confederate Stars and Bars), General Grant (painted with the Yankee Union flag), and Admiral Nelson (painted with the British Union Jack).
Cozen leaps atop the pool table and sets Ebonezer spinning at an alarming rate, only to plop her in a dastardly fashion into his “Chair of Pleasurable Torture” beneath the pool table. He starts to subject Ebo to “the treatment”. Ebo calls Cozen her hero. Ebo: “Alright! Food and nudity! My two favorite things combined into one whirl-wind adventure.” Cozen draws the curtain under the pool table and asks not to be disturbed.
ThatWeirdGirl gets all big-sisterly with Ebonezer, and asks for “the treatment” to stop. She and Static promise to tone things down a bi
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14) THE VOYAGES OF THE STAR SHIP “SERENI-TREE”
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9009
Rat starts a new thread in the hopes that he will find his son, TheRealMe, there.
After resolving some crew positions, a dimensional portal opens in the Common Room and a large number of slimy purple tentacles drop TheRealMe on the couch. He tries to clean his slimy glasses on his slimy shirt, as he announces his return from a trip to the Purple Dimension for more special ice cream (and also some 7-packs of bottled Pepsimilk he picked up along the way). He reports that M&Ms are a big hit in the Purple Dimension, except, of course, for the fact that the inhabitants would like to see some purple ones. TRM has returned with a cue-ball so he could resume his game of pool with Jake7, but like everything else (including TRM’s clothes, hair, and skin) it is colored purple! After he takes a quick shower, they begin their game. It is during this game that TRM announces that he will one day make a thread that lists all of the clubhouse threads, with links even! Imagine that!
TheRealMe whines about Rat being so over-protective. After all, “I was just off with some friends, hopping across a few dimensions.” But when he rolls his eyes and gets an attitude, Rat sends TRM to his room! Grounded! Jake7 is annoyed at having their game interrupted, and suggests that TRM sneaks out his window.
Grey announces that he is done with the starship modifications to the Sereni-Tree, and decides to get to work on his mecha.
Mal-licious wants the shuttle that smells nice and has all the pretty hanging things.
Static and ThatWeirdGirl adjourn to the cockpit to try her out! They buckle themselves into their control stations, and Static calls for Captain Ebonezer to give the word! She gives the word (which, as it happens, is “word”) and the Sereni-Tree flies off to the stars! After breaking atmo, Static suggests that TWG sit somewhere more comfortable, and so she unbuckles her harness and hops into his lap.
Montanagirl tells a lovely, tear-jerking story about why she names cows after stars.
Jake7 knocks on TheRealMe’s room, advising him NOT to sneak out his window at this time, as they are in outer space. Through the door, he tells her to go back to the pool table. When she gets there, Jake7 sees the top half of TRM sticking up out of one of his dimensional portals (which is oriented parallel to the floor). He chalks up a cue, explaining that Rat really can’t complain, since TRM is actually standing in his own room right now!
Rat, annoyed at TRM’s loophole in his punishment, considers enabling real-world physics again. Montanagirl ties Rat up, worried that the large hanger bay might unfold from its higher dimensions and squash her brand new General Lee. In a panic, TRM hops out of his dimensional portal, jumping up on the pool table and scattering balls everywhere. He complains that if real-world physics returned while he was part-way through a portal, he would be sliced in half!
Rat asks what OTHER punishment could be applied to TRM. Montanagirl says that having Rat as a father is punishment enough! Rat agrees, and slinks away in shame. He is called back, and embraced by TRM, who promises to give up research on how to overcome the Grandfather Paradox.
SimonWho comes back through time with some HD-DVDs from the future, including Lost Season 5 (they should have met up with Gilligan and crew MUCH sooner!) and he mentions that Episode III is crap, but that shouldn’t be a surprise. Mal-licious suggests that Ethan is the love child of Gilligan and Maryann.
Jake7 AGAIN despairs of ever playing a game of pool. TheRealMe reminds her that we recently got a new pool table, so the older holo pool table must be around somewhere, and that can be dragged to his room. They find it, but it is heavy. Jake7 asks if TRM has any more tricks up his sleeve. He smiles, and from his sleeve, TRM pulls some of the few surviving butterfly reactionless thrusters. He attaches them to the pool
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15) THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE USS SERENITREE
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9080
To combat the fact that our mutineers are talking like pirates, ThatWeirdGirl starts talking like a pirate, too. Luckily the mutineers are not very organized. Montanagirl: “Well Rat, I have no idea where the plan went. Sock puppets aside, this is a very poorly executed mutiny.”
Grey finds his own pirate name, Iron John Cash, and Malicious points everyone to the correct site. Jake7 turns into a pirate, too, Mad Morgan Cash. Montanagirl spots Princess Bride references, and looks around for R.O.U.S’s. “Only me!” says Rat.
Rat, dissatisfied with Static’s summary of the previous thread, writes his own. Rat’s summary ends, of course, with everyone surrendering to him!
Quote:
Originally posted by Elwoodmom:
Are you trying to start a mutiny? Here I am, fixing dinner, and I feel a tug on my skirt. It’s Ebo, and she says that you are trying to take over… Now, I’ve knocked Malicious’s and Neroli’s heads together before, and I can certainly give you something to cry about! Do you want a time-out, young man?? Can’t have any delinquents riling up the rest of the crew!
“She don’t scare me none!” says Rat of Elwoodmom.
Realizing that the Sereni-tree is adrift, and that the mutineers probably have access to a very nimble runabout, TheRealMe deploys a solar sail (black, with a skull and crossbones for a piratey theme). Also, TRM flies the Flag That Shw Made from the highest mast. “We have a flag! You mutineers do not!” Then TheGreyJedi turns the engines back on, making the solar sail useless.
TRM considers unfilled job descriptions. Since there is a mutiny, we need a Security Chief. Since the ship is lost, we probably need a navigator. Mai wants to be Tour Guide. Mai thinks a visit to a pleasure planet like Star Trek’s Risa is a good idea! Others agree.
Bloody Davy Cash, aka Dtuck, comes by in his spaceworthy ’93 Yugo and offers aid. Also, Indigo, aka Bloody Mary Roberts, offers her services as Chief of Security. Rat does his best to recruit the newcomers. Rat argues that since he and Montanagirl are muntinous pirates, and since everyone is taking pirate names, that everyone has joined him and HE is captain now, Arrrrgh!
Quote:
Originally posted by Elwoodmom:
(Faint strains of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly can be heard in the distance) Elwoodmom strides to the bar and opens a can of whoop-ass. She then bends over to tighten her combat-piraty-like boots. Her Linda Hamilton-type muscles bulge. She’s an imposing figure, indeed.
Her head snaps to the right and spots Rat. Within two quick steps, Elwoodmom is upon him. With one hand, she grabs the back of his shirt. Effortlessly, she lifts him up and walks to the plank. The crew separates. Someone hiccups and is quickly silenced. Rat sweats and slithers, trying to escape Elwoodmom’s iron clutches. She tosses him over the side, runs her hand through her salty hair and says “Mutiny is over, dear!”
Ebonezer thanks Mom, but says we can still be pirates if we like. A party begins.
Montanagirl points out that we are in outer space, so where exactly did Rat get thrown to? Then she gets distracted by a Galadriel headdress party hat and starts dancing.
Quote:
TheRealMe wrote:
* The Real Me dons his vac suit, grabs his fishing pole, and goes out the air lock. A LOOOOONG cast, and The Real Me waits. Then there is a pull on the line. With a smile, The Real Me reels in his catch. It is Rat, somewhat desiccated and blue from lack of air. *
“Thanks, son,” Rat says, then passes out.
TheRealMe suggests that we go find the Cozen Cluster. Montanagirl and Ebo agree. Lacking a navigator, TRM makes his best guess, points, and says, “Thataway, Static!”
Montanagirl decides we need a transmogrifier to turn Cozen back to his human form. Rat constructs one by taking a marker and writing “transmogrifier” on the side of a cardboard box. TRM wonders how we are going to fit a star clust
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16) THE SERENITREE ON RUKUS, PLEASURE PLANET OF THE COZEN CLUSTER
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9124
(Interim)
Rukus was a pleasure asteroid with an artificially maintained habitable environment. There was a Badger-clone to act as concierge. There were also clones of some of our Big Damn Heroes useful for companion-like purposes: two each of Mal, Simon, Jayne, and Zoe, and one of Kaylee. The River-clone was created sometime during our stay. The Inara-clone was in the works, but early models were much too hairy. There was no Wash-clone, Book-clone, or Yo-Saf-Bridge-clone. There was an Olympic sized swimming pool filled not with water, but with pool tables (the Management apologized for this minor glitch in the program). Montanagirl took to sunbathing in a bikini on a pool table in the pool.
At some point during the time on Rukus, TheRealMe attempted to get all the Brides jobs or husbands on the pleasure planet. Ultimately, this will fail.
ThatWeirdGirl was upset for a reason, but calmed down when TheRealMe asked her for the lyrics to that classic Steve Martin song, “King Tut”
To prove that he had a modicum of culture his own self, TheRealMe recited a stanza or two from “Xanadu” (the classic poem, not the Olivia Newton John song!)
A woman in a diaphanous gown, walked out of the sea, admiring the poem. She was of inhuman grace and beauty and flowers spontaneously sprung up wherever she walked. She called herself Needleseye. It has been assumed that she is some kind of aquatic faerie.
PERIPHERAL THREAD:
I’ve missed out
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9165
The entry of SimonsCandyApple into our weird world. Mal-licious bumped the three oldest threads for her to see.
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17) THE RUKUS BEACH PARTY
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9180
(Interim)
We had a cook-out.
In one of these Rukus threads, we met Knibblet, who was selling tubes of "Knibblet's Stupendous Sunscreen". After analyzing the composition of this substance, TheRealMe decided that it would greatly boost the power output of the Sereni-Tree's fusion plants. He buys Knibblet out, and she closes early.
TheGreyJedi, however, is not impressed. He doesn't like to use engine additives!
Static, TheRealMe, ThatWeirdGirl, PsychicRiver, Ebo (?) and others got together on the beach. We played a game of Volleyball, including cheating with our superpowers, and some morphing.
There was an apparent invasion force approaching Rukus. We saw TheGreyJedi’s mecha Aegis in action against the “space invasion”. Ooops. It was a convoy of Cozen’s transports!
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18) VOLLEYBALL AND OTHER BEACH THINGS, RUCKUS STYLE!!!
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9289
(Interim)
The volleyball game continued.
Rukus was a rather small asteroid with a habitable environment that was artificially maintained by machines. That, of course, was until Rat turned off those machines and Rukus literally fell apart. Aside from perhaps a dozen or so clones of our BDHs created for companion-like purposes, the only inhabitants of Rukus seemed to have been an irritating parrot named Black Jack Silver (acting as a mouthpiece for Cozen, who was still a star cluster at the time) and Needleseye (who is an aquatic carnivorous faerie-like creature, of inhuman grace and beauty, who can shapeshift and generates flowers spontaneously depending on her mood).
We heroically saved ourselves and rescued them all. Then we departed that place.
Perhaps around this time, TheRealMe introduces our Chief Engineer, TheGreyJedi, to the smartest of the Brides, Bride4, in the hopes that he can employ her as an assistant engineer. He agrees, and gives her a huge technical manual. We discover that her name is Jet. Later, Needleseye also becomes an assistant engineer.
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19) BLACK DIAMOND SKI RESORT
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9377
TheGreyJedi’s summary to Ebo:
The ski resort of Black Diamond, planet of the Cozen Cluster.
Ok. You might recall the trip to the asteroid of Rukus, the beach party place. Rat blew it up, so we had to make a hasty retreat. I scooped you and some others up in Aegis, my mecha with repulsor wings, as we fled to the SereniTREE. To avoid being smote into tiny pieces by wayward chunks of former planet, I dropped us into the 4th dimension using the as of then untested Gravity Drive. From there, we return to normal space and head for the Black Diamond Ski Resort. Snow, hot tub, relaxing. Then FemaleReaver and several brides and maybe NeedlesEye and Rat and TRM and some others go off and fight things and Yetis and suddenly living giant windmills. And the Cozen showed up and demanded reparations for Rat blowing up Rukus. And is annoying us with endless ants. To which I decided to take to the skies in Aegis. Given that I don't recall you leaving the cockpit, and I don't remember helping you out, you might be in the cockpit of Aegis with me.
Whew.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
==================================================
TheRealMe’s additions to Grey’s report to Ebo:
Right. The beach pleasure planet Rukus was destroyed when Rat (of whom there is no crew record remaining in the Sereni-Tree computer) disabled the one and only power plant on the planet and the planet fell apart.
We escaped.
We landed on the Black Diamond Ski resort planet.
Skiing. Snowmen. Lounging in the jacuzzi, sipping wine. "Beloved." "Sweetest." "Caress." "Lips."
Most of the rest involves the Quest for the FemaleReaver. Note that the Questers are currently far removed from the resort.
What happened was, I got sick. Jake7 took me to a hospital here, but it seemed to be run by our own Bride7! She was singing this creepy song, and I was afraid that she was going to cook me. Anyway, Jake7 rescued me, and I wondered if Bride7 was really that master of disguise, the FemaleReaver, escaped. I asked Brides 1 through 3 to check to see if she was still in her cage.
The FemaleReaver escaped from her cage on the Sereni-Tree, apparently turning Bride1 to her cause and injuring Bride2 and Bride3. Later, Bride1 was... uh... dealt with by Needleseye, some kind of supernatural aquatic creature we picked up on Rukus.
Rat, Jake7, Needleseye, and myself went after the FemaleReaver in the General Lee, one of our shuttles. She had stolen a speeder-pod and made her way to the Land of the Yeti. We chased.
We picked up newcomer ImEarly, found unconscious and almost naked in the snow. He was loaned the katana that we recovered from Bride1, which we found could turn the wielder invisible.
The General was disabled, I was abducted by Yeti who wanted to eat me, but I was saved by Jake7, Needleseye, ImEarly, and ThatWeirdGirl (whom I portaled in). Using her Confusion power, TWG befriended the yeti and taught them how to dance. These yeti included Corbin, Hewitt, and Ervin.
Meanwhile, Rat had enslaved some Windmill Giants with his music (from the group “They Might Be Giants”). Leaving TWG with her new friends, the rest of us continued our search for the FemaleReaver, finding her preaching to a bunch of Yeti in a cave. They seemed to be listening to her.
The Cozen Star Cluster awoke and started this ant thing. In revenge for the destruction of Rukus, countless cozenants invaded the Sereni-Tree.
You are now up to date.
EDIT: No, Grey, I encountered Ebo in the cargo bay during our time in the 4th dimension, though it is possible that she climbed back into Aegis.
The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree
PERIPHERAL THREAD:
Friday, Freakin’ Friday
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9395
A finer example of Mal-licious’ thread-jacking may not exist.
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