USS SereniTREE: A Tale of Two Trees

POSTED BY: TheGreyJedi
UPDATED: Sunday, July 24, 2005 12:55
VIEWED: 32596
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THEREALME

Saturday, July 9, 2005 2:32 PM

*** THIS OCCURS ON THE REAL SERENI-TREE BEFORE JAZAF’S MOST RECENT POST ***

* TheRealMe keys his com-link to the other shuttles. *

TheRealMe: This is TheRealMe in the Admiral Nelson to all shuttles! Start your engines!

Jet: This is Bride4 in the General Grant. Are you ready for me to open the Hanger Bay’s main hatch for our departure?

* TheRealMe smiles. *

TheRealMe: No, Jet. We won’t be leaving that way. That’s what they would expect. All pilots, engage Rat’s shrinking technology!

* TheRealMe flips a switch on the control panel. Rat and Jet do the same on their shuttles. All three shuttles shrink down to a rather small size. *

TheRealMe: You know Rat, I’ve been thinking about you wanting the General Lee to remain special. Have you thought of a fancy hood ornament? Perhaps a pair of fuzzy dice to dangle from the rear-view mirror?

* As the three shuttles hover in the Hanger Bay, a small spot of light appears ahead of them. It grows larger, to become a ring of fire surrounding a dark void. Another point of light appears, then another. Soon three dimensional portals remain, suspended in mid-air. *

TheRealMe: We are going through these dimensional portals, which lead to key areas of the False Sereni-Tree. The Admiral will take the leftmost, General Lee center, and General Grant the rightmost. Jet, just before you depart, set our Hanger’s main hatch to open. That will catch the attention of anybody watching. They’ll be waiting for us to depart that way, while we will already be inside the False Sereni-Tree’s. When we arrive, everybody deploy according to the plan.

* The three shuttles enter the holes in reality one by one. As the General Grant, enters, the Hanger Bay’s huge main hatch starts to open. *

Rat’s General Lee flies out into the False Sereni-Tree’s Main Cargo Bay. He lands and the shuttle grows to its normal size. The shuttles’ main hatch opens.

Quote:
Jazaf wrote:
'Ok people, Let's Move out!' Rat shouts. Rat, the Yetis, the Giants, and the dancers file out of the General Lee. Jazaf exits last, 'C'mon Jazaf or you'll be left behind.' Rat says from over his shoulder.

(Note: TWG's dance partners ARE the remaining Yeti.)

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

THEREALME

Saturday, July 9, 2005 4:13 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

*twg walks with DarkTRM*

So, you’re doing this to gain favor with your Sith master? Interesting. I never would have guessed that TRM, dark or light, would ever bow to another. Help, work with, yes, but bow…never. How is that working for you? Btw, you have any gum? I could really go for some gum right now, I’ve been unconscious and well, I haven’t brushed my teeth in a while…mint would be preferred but good ol bubble gum is fine. No? Here’s something you don’t know: I have a power I’ve never had to use in the Clubhouse.

*twg looks to a nearby control panel for only a moment, but it was enough…it sparks…TRM doesn’t notice. It should be enough to get things started.*

Did you know I once donated a blood sample to the genome thingy…I hope it was never put to an evil use…

*the spark shorts the deck sensors and com systems. Soon, hull breaches are registered throughout the ship, several decks are now sealed off from the rest of the ship. The ship’s speakers are all blown. No alarms sound, no one can communicate with anyone else. But they don’t know that yet.*

* TheDarkMe scowls at ThatWeirdGirl’s taunts. He well realizes that since TheRealMe is such a nice guy, the power of his dark side, TheDarkMe, is severely limited. He makes to respond, but then stops when the next hatchway fails to open. He turns to ThatWeirdGirl. *

Something’s wrong, I….

* TheDarkMe feels a disturbance in the Force. *

Something is wrong. The Dark Soul has…

* TheDarkMe thinks that ThatWeirdGirl looks too smug. He waves his hand, creating a dimensional portal. *

Change in plan. Through here!

The Dark Me, aka Darth Real

THEREALME

Saturday, July 9, 2005 4:19 PM

Need a scorecard? So do I! Where folks have an evil twin, I list what it is doing on the same line after the good twin. It seems that the female evils twins (or at least CallMeSerenity’s) can materialize or dematerialize at will from either version of the Sereni-Tree. Sorry if I missed anyone. It includes every poster in this and the previous thread, except Tracy, who is probably off killing kissies in some alternate reality.

TS = True Sereni-Tree
FS = False Sereni-Tree
GL = General Lee Invasion Force, Starting from FS Cargo Bay
GG = General Grant Invasion Force, Starting from Bridge or Engineering
AN = Admiral Nelson Invasion Force; Starting from the Common Room

BlueFishie: AN
Bride2/Deuce: GG
Bride3/Trey: GG
Bride4/Jet: GG
Bride5: AN, herding kissies
Bride6: AN, herding kissies
Bride7: ????
CallMeAth: GG; Evil:Fighting TGJ and EvilStatic on FS
CallMeSerenity: FS Common Room ; Evil: Heading to FS Common w/katanas
Cozen: Kidnapped by TWG, possibly still tied up; Evil: Kept drunk in FS Common?
Ebo Golem: AN
Ebonezer: FS Common Room ; Evil: ????
Emma: In her false ship on FS; Evil:Never separated
Jake7: FS Common Room; Evil: Wandering around TS?
Jazaf: With GL; Some bathroom; Evil: Re-absorbed
Lissa: FS Common Room; Evil: ????
Mal-licious: Old Clubhouse inside TS? ; Evil: ????
Mai: FS Cargo Bay, last seen on previous thread just discovering the ladies were locked inside; Evil: ????
MontanaGirl: FS, last seen helping Emma to Bridge on previous thread; Evil:????
Needleseye: AN
Nugget, meteor troll: AN
Rat: Leading GL; Evil:Kept drunk in FS Common?
Sparky: TS
SimonWho: TS helping DarkWeirdGirl; Evil:Departed FS Infirmary
SoulOfSerenity:“Exited” from FS Common; Evil: Re-absorbed
PsychicRiver: GG ; Evil: Kept drunk in FS Common?
Static: Piloting TS ; Evil: FS, fighting DarkAth
TheGreyJedi: FS, fighting DarkAth; Evil: Never separated
TheRealMe: AN ; Evil:FS, leading TWG somewhere
ThatWeirdGirl: FS, led off by TheDarkMe; Evil: Secured in Infirmary of TS
XanderLHarris: AN

Jayne-clone1: ?
Jayne-clone2: ?
Kaylee-clone: ?
Mal-clone1: Probably with Mal-licious
Mal-clone2: Probably with Mal-licious
River-clone: AN
Simon-clone1: ?
Simon-clone2: ?
Zoe-clone1: GG
Zoe-clone2: GG

THEREALME

Saturday, July 9, 2005 4:21 PM

* TheRealMe pilots the shrunken Admiral Nelson through the small dimensional portal he created, which he quickly closes behind the shuttle. He sets the Admiral down and deactivates the engines. *

River-clone, gazing in wonder out a portal: Trees as tall as the sky.

Bride6: COOL! Look at those feakin’ tall trees! They’re HUGE! But why don’t they have branches?

TheRealMe: Because those “trees” are supporting the railing of the upper level balcony around the False Sereni-Tree’s common room. We’re still shrunken, remember?

* Nugget makes some sound half-way between growling and choking. *

TheRealMe: Exactly, Nugget! So, are we ready to grow again? Xander, Bluefishie? Bride5, are YOU ready? You have the most dangerous task.

* Bride5 smiles and nods. *

TheRealMe: Uh, Needleseye, are you okay, you look a little... distracted.

Needleseye: I'm fine!

* TheRealMe recalls the final moments of Bride1, and shudders. *

TheRealMe: Needleseye,you realize that we can't cause permanent damage to any of the...

Needleseye: I know!

TheRealMe: Right! Ebo Golem, you stand ready at the kissie cage, just in case.

STATIC

Saturday, July 9, 2005 5:19 PM

On the False Tree:

DarkStatic grins at TheWhiteJedi and winks, "I'll make a real fighter out of you yet."

Without another word, he shimmers out of existence and materializes...

On the REAL Tree:

DarkStatic appears in front of his counterpart and grabs him. "Come on!!!!" Together, they shimmer out of existence and re-materialize. . .

On the False Treee:

The two Statics race through the corridors of the SerenitTREE's 'dark version'. The sounds of fighting can be heard everywhere, but they are singular in their purpose. Somewhere, The Dark version of "The Real Me" has an ass-whipping coming to him. . .and Static's beloved has a daring rescue long overdue. As they run, DarkStatic 'briefs' Static.

"You know you can't kill any of them, right? Killing them would render their other halves as good as dead, if not altogether dead."

Static nods grimly and checks the load on his pistols. "I'll think of something."

CALLMESERENITY

Sunday, July 10, 2005 4:03 PM

on the pseudoTREE, common room

*The EvilMen are beginning to wake up. Lissa and Serenity hand out bloody marys, mimosas and irish coffees to the men while Jake7 puts the "spank me" scene from Holy Grail on for the men to watch. They are soon coddled back into drunken stupors.*

Okay ladies, gather around. I hope you don't mind me speechifying for the moment, but as Ebo is napping under the pool table, someone's got to step up, right?

So, just so we're all clear, this is what we know:
I)We're on a ship designed to look JUST like the real SereniTREE.
II) We've been kidnapped, but we're not entirely sure why. Also, Needleseye was NOT kidnapped, nor any of the clones, for more reasons unknown.
III) There may be evil versions of ourselves, if there are evil versions of the men. We think they may be on the real TREE, but we're not sure. There's not a whole lot we can do about that at the moment.
IV) Evil versions of our menfolk were sent to us, for another unknown reason. We have managed to keep them all drunk and under control for the moment BUT...

a)EvilAth, TheEvilMe, EvilSimonWho and EvilJazaf are loose somewhere. This could be a problem, as the real Jazaf is quite a mystery. All I know is that he is very skilled in using those katanas of his.
b) We can't kill the men. As we just witnessed with Soul, they have to get back together with their good halves. If we kill them (as tempting as this might be right now) *she looks pointedly at EvilRat who is trying to relieve himself in one of the potted plants. Mai runs over to him and leads him away to the bathroom*
If we kill them, the good half will also die, or something like that. So, no killing! *several girls look disappointed.*
c)TWG is missing. She's very good at being a DID, securing a daring rescue from the menfolk and avoiding all harm, so we're not TOO concerned, but with all the evils lurking around, this could be a another problem.
d)Now that I think of it,where's Emma? Has she fainted again?

*EvilCozen disturbs everyone by retching into a wastebasket. MontanaGirl hands him another bloody mary. *

MG: Here Cozen, this will make you feel better!

CMS: So, this is open for discussion, of course, but I suggest that we:
1) Herd the men somewhere we can keep them contained. Mai, you know the ship the best, can you lead us to the brig? Will it hold them? Can we rig a video monitor to play naughty clips for them to keep them occupied?
2) then we break up into groups and search for the missing people. No one should be left alone, it's too perilous.
5) ("Three, sir!" From Lissa) I'm sorry, Python's on...
3) When everyone's together, we figure a way to find our menfolk, get them together with their evil halves, deal with our evil halves (if they exist) and then get OFF this go-se ship. Because I don't know about you, but I am tired of this game.

Now, any comments, suggestions...anything?

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

EMMA

Sunday, July 10, 2005 4:50 PM

*Emma rouses from her experimental operation and untying her restraints becomes somewhat worried by the large amount of blood splattered around the room. She checks her neck which appears to be in one place and heads to the fridge.*

Hmmmm, Crunchie bars, yummy

*Eating the Crunchie bar Emma reflects upon the dodgy situation she is in and decides to attempt her plan. If, as a non-detached person she can transport herself between her two ships then she may be able to affect the reality of the two Sereni-Trees as she is sure DarkSoul could not have affected the functions of her beautiful spherical ship of joyous joyness.*

Ok, Emma, if I just reconnect the transmodifiers to the interspacial reflux-charge I should be able to jump to my other ship. Ooooh, I do hope this means I have two now. I wonder how much I could sell one for? Rat could help me I am sure...

*Emma reconnects everything and.... whoosh*

extremely dimensionally transcendental

THATWEIRDGIRL

Sunday, July 10, 2005 5:51 PM

*twg roughly falls to her knees as TheDarkMe pushes her through his portal.*

Ooh, big deal. You can move throughout the ship, how nice…but no one else can.

*TheDarkMe kicks her shin, just for the dark fun of it, as she stands to face him*

There’s more than sealed bulkheads in store for you and your plans. Much more. In fact….

*twg lunges at TheDarkMe, hitting him square in the chest with her hard head. Surprised at her bold and stupid moves, TDM stumbles momentarily, just enough to allow twg to kick the side of his knee *crack* he buckles and falls to the floor. twg spins round, limping with her own knee injury, standing directly in front of a small panel…TDM lifts his saber to knock twg unconscious. She falls to floor just before he strikes, crashing though the panel and exposing all the wires within. That’s all she needed. Once again she concentrates on the exposed sizzling bits of coax…sending a fatal error straight to Grey’s delicate drive…TDM hits the laughing twg in the back of the head, knocking her out.*

-----

*The DarkCloneEviltwg person slowly regains awareness. She is alone.*

That doctor is more cunning than I thought. No worries.

*Thinking she had all the powers of twg, she wills the tray of implements to fall to the floor….nothing…she tries again….nothing. Why doesn’t she have twg powers?*

But I AM HER! I don’t understand. Why isn’t this working? I…I…I’m not her. I must be some crappy clone or golem of her…@#%&!!!!!!

*She remains strapped to the table.*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

COZEN

Monday, July 11, 2005 12:26 AM

* SimonWho’s Blue Box begins to quiver. Hinges emit a tiny squeal as the door opens by a fraction of its arc. Were there be anyone nearby to listen, they would hear from within the Box a series of metallic scuttling noises. A few silvery insects emerge via the small gap. Presently, more insects emerge. *

* With a sudden lurch, the door swings fully open, releasing a flood of metallic cockroaches. Hundreds, then thousands of the insects flow from the Box into Sereni-Tree, their tiny metal legs clicking upon the metal floor. Altogether, the sound made by this horde is oddly like that made by an ocean’s waves spilling onto a rocky shore. *

* A legion of roaches tumbles off a human form staggering out of the Box. They cascade off the body in much the same way stone chips fly from a sculptor’s chisel, revealing the cozenlike identity of the Infinite Goof. *

* For IG is what remains when Evilcozen is stripped away from the whole. *

* IG smells an armpit. *

Eww! I need a saltpetre bath with my rubber duckywucky. And, if I’m lucky, when I’m done I won’t be so yucky!

Well, guys, sez IG to the milling throng of roaches, ya got yer programming, what’re y’all waitin’ on?

* IG claps his hands. 1,640,000 roaches assemble into parade formation and proceed to skitter out, headed for the airlock. Soon thereafter, relying on solar power and the collective thrust from their tiny attitude thrusters, the insect army soars to the alterTree. *

* IG attempts a somersault, but cronks it and breaks his wrist on landing. *

Ow. Yeah, I know it’s ugly, and it’s gonna require a wee sacrifice to ickyness, but if these little fellers can’t herd the good womenfolk and the evilfolk off that ship and on to this one, well, who can, eh? But, we all do have to get together now, don’t we?

We do.
________________________________
(With apologies to Tom Robbins).

***
Plot resolutions hastened, reasonable rates.

MAI

Monday, July 11, 2005 3:27 AM

Hahahahahaha....... oh what fools they are EviMai cackles. Its taken them long enough to catch on. At last, now that all the other evil shadows have emerged I can finally show my self. Its been HELL pretending to be that sappy, goody-two shoes, Mai all this time.

*A shushed banging sound is heard coming from a nearby super secret hidey hole in the cargo bay of the pseudotree*

*Mai screams. LET ME OUT OF HERE! SOMEONE PLEASE!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!*

HUSH! YOu stupid girl or you won't live to make it back to real tree so that i can kill you...errr let you free as i have promised.

*Mai goes silent, knowing that screaming is only wasting her energy. Ok, time to focus. What I know. I've been stuck in some godforsaken place ever since... geez..i don't know even know. Time has gone by so slowly. Everything will be ok. It has to be ok. EviMai will become careless and if what she says about the emergence of the other Shadows is true surely someone will figure out that things have been going very wrong for quite some time.

*Having spent so many days cooped up in this dark space Mai has discovered her hidden supernatural talent. Sitting on the floor cross-legged, breathing deeply she pictures a flame in her mind. Suddenly a small glow appears from the tips of her fingers and begins to grow into several half-dollar sized bubbles which quickly join together and illumintate the hidey hole*

Well now. Isn't that interesting? Perhaps if I keep practicing I can somehow temporarily blind EviMai when she next opens the hatch door. Yes, and while she is blinded I will sneak out and try to reach out to the others without being seen. Either that or I'll die a terrible not-death right here in this putrid little hole.

*EviMai acting as Mai (and oh how good she is at acting) listens intently on the plan to get the evilmen put away somewhere*

Hey that's a fantastic idea. You all go and search for the missing and I'll just herd the menfolk up the brig. I'll even put a group of insane-guard mops at the door just in case they try to break out. Sound good? Yea. I thought so too. (Little do these peons know that the IGM are evil as well... hahahahahahahahahahah... Oh what fun).

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