USS SereniTREE: A Tale of Two Trees
POSTED BY: TheGreyJedi
UPDATED: Sunday, July 24, 2005 12:55
VIEWED: 32596
PAGE 10 of 23
*walks up to the bar, lightsaber clasped at his hip, EvilAth tied up right good and tossed over one shoulder, snow white jedi robes and luminescent white wings in a relaxed position, and dumps EA in a reasonably comfortable chair, awaiting his return to consciousness. He reaches across the bar and grabs a pint glass, immediately pouring himself a full pint of fresh from the tap Guiness Extra Stout. Turns with is back to the bar and drinks deeply from the refreshing black drink. Smiles.*
Bad, evil, naughty Zoot.
*Grins darkly, speaking rather Britishly.*
Hello, ladies. Play time already?
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Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05
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Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
*twg roughly falls to her knees as TheDarkMe pushes her through his portal.*
Ooh, big deal. You can move throughout the ship, how nice…but no one else can.
*TheDarkMe kicks her shin, just for the dark fun of it, as she stands to face him*
There’s more than sealed bulkheads in store for you and your plans. Much more. In fact….
*twg lunges at TheDarkMe, hitting him square in the chest with her hard head. Surprised at her bold and stupid moves, TDM stumbles momentarily, just enough to allow twg to kick the side of his knee *crack* he buckles and falls to the floor. twg spins round, limping with her own knee injury, standing directly in front of a small panel…TDM lifts his saber to knock twg unconscious. She falls to floor just before he strikes, crashing though the panel and exposing all the wires within. That’s all she needed. Once again she concentrates on the exposed sizzling bits of coax…sending a fatal error straight to Grey’s delicate drive…TDM hits the laughing twg in the back of the head, knocking her out.*
* Alarms blare as TheDarkMe realizes with shock that ThatWeirdGirl has tricked him into helping her completely disable the False Sereni-Tree! He is grumbling to himself as he picks up TWG and slings her over his shoulder. Suddenly, he senses that his Master, Darth Ath, is in trouble.*
Oh, well, time for another change in plan.
* TheDarkMe forms another portal and limps through it with ThatWeirdGirl. *
TheDarkMe, aka Darth Real
(Huh! TheRealMe doesn't think that even his DARK side would kick TWG for fun! Damn, Static is going to be mad!)
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*switches on the ship's intercom*
Okay, I've finished examining twg and need to ensure everybody knows the situation. The creature lying in sickbay, lovely though she is to look at, isn't the twg that we know and love. She is, instead, a personification of the dark side of the original. All the faults, dark thoughts and misdemeanours personified into human form. However, this is just a projection, albeit solid and free thinking. If the original twg can come into contact with the copy, she should be able to subsume the clone back into her mind and out of existence. The same goes for everyone else's copies.
*switches off the intercom*
So, you wouldn't happen to know where your better half is, would you? Ah but you don't want to tell me. Unfortunately, I have to know and so I'll afraid I need to use some unauthorised methods to do so.
*removes twg's shoes and produces a feather*
Any time you want to co-operate, you just let me know.
*tickle tickle*
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* A spot of light flares into existence in the False Sereni-Tree’s common room, directly under TheBrightJedi. It opens into a dimensional portal and TheBrightJedi, startled, falls into it. The dimensional portal snaps shut, almost severing something vital on TheBrightJedi. A second dimensional portal opens into the common room, and TheDarkMe limps out, carrying ThatWeirdGirl over his shoulder and absently rubbing his sore chest. TheDarkMe observes the ladies of the Sereni-Tree, the drunken evil twins of the men being hypnotized by Monty Python, and his own master, Darth Ath who is still tied up. He grins evilly. *
Huh! Situation looks a little grave. Good thing I happened by. We must move quickly, my Master, before the return of TheBrightJedi. My ploy will not occupy him for long!
* With a wave, TheDarkMe undoes the bonds around Darth Ath. With another wave, TheDarkMe purges the alcohol from the systems of the formerly-drunken evil twins. The suddenly sober evil men snicker… evilly… as they stand. It is the EvilRat, EvilCozen, and EvilPsychicRiver. *
Master, the Dark Soul is no longer in our way! It falls to US to rule in his place, as is our right! But first… Uh… We sort of need another ship. This one is trashed, engines completely disabled. And I sense convergences upon this place. The unified Static, TheBrightJedi, my own good twin, The Rat, The Brides, some person so mysterious I cannot name him, and.. uh… lots of bugs.
Lots.
* TheDarkMe drops ThatWeirdGirl to the deck and goes to one knee before Darth Ath. *
What is your command, my Masssster?
TheDarkMe, aka Darth Real
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Why, HELLO there!
* From the door to the East Wing, an exceptionally beautiful woman enters the Common Room of the False Sereni-Tree, where Lissa, Ebo, Serenity, Jake7 and (the secretly EVIL) Mai are being menaced by Darth Ath, Darth Real, EvilCozen, EvilRat, and EvilPsychicRiver. ThatWeirdGirl is unconscious on the floor. *
* The newcomer is a vision of loveliness, from her dark oriental eyes and the high cheekbones of her perfectly formed face, down the ample curves of her body (which her skin-tight red formal gown does little to conceal), to her delicate feet in high heels. She laughs and tosses her head, causing her long straight black hair to dance down her back like a shower of silk. *
* As she glides forward in a well-practiced walk, she subtly and gracefully maneuvers her rather exceptional assets in such a way as to attract the notice of any male. *
* Being male, the dark twins notice. *
* Intently. *
* It is Bride5. *
* As she passes EvilCozen, her hand reaches up to gently stroke his chin. He seems incapacitated for a moment as she smiles and winks. She walks past him and the others until she is in an open area of the common room, between the pool table and the entrance to the water park. She turns around to face the dark twins. Her shining crimson lips pout, and she holds her hands out for her wrists to be manacled. She purrs: *
We could NEVER hope to beat you big, strong men! I surrender.
* With a smile and a wink, she whispers: *
Please, be gentle with me.
* As one, the dark twins crowd around their new captive. *
Oh, wait just a sec, please!
* Bride5 reaches up with a small device, unnoticed until that moment. It fires a grapple line up into the ceiling of the common room. She is jerked upward with great speed as the device reels her in. *
TheRealMe: Fire at will!
* From their positions along an arc of both balconies, the members of the assault team from the Admiral Nelson open fire upon their foes below them. The Spam-like Armor Treet rains down upon upon the tightly clumped evil twins, who had been lured to a spot with no cover and away from the "good" twins. For a time, Darth Ath and Darth Real use their lightsabers to parry the meat-like globs, sending the stench of burned Spam throughout the area. Then River-clone laughs as she shoots the lightsabers out of the hands of the Sithy pair with mathematically precise shots.*
* But before the evil twins can be overcome, the Armor Treet stops having any effect, being knocked aside before it can impact any of them. A figure stands, smiling, wearing a lab coat and tiny spectacles. *
TheRealMe: No! The Insidious Doctor Rat has modified his Spam Blockers to work against Armor Treet! Huh! Then I guess it’s time for Plan B!
* TheRealMe begins to quickly formulate Plan B. *
The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)
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TheRealMe: Ebo Golem! Unleash the kissies!
* With that, TheRealMe brandishes one of Cozen’s katanas and leaps down into the common room of the False Sereni-Tree from the lower balcony. *
* TheDarkMe grins and reaches out. His lightsaber flies into his hand. *
TheDarkMe: Bring it on, you simpering dullard!
TheRealMe: “Simpering dullard?” Huh! Could some part of me really write that dialogue?
* TheRealMe manages a lucky slash against his foe’s arm. TheDarkMe’s lightsaber falls to the ground. *
TheDarkMe: OW!
* TheRealMe drops his katana and holds his own right arm. *
TheRealMe: OW! Okay, so what happens to you, happens to me as well, so…
* Enraged, TheDarkMe reaches out with his left hand, attempting to open a dimensional portal into open space underneath TheRealMe. TheRealMe counters using his own powers. In a dazzling show of bright lights and dark voids, space and time are warped around the pair as each seeks an advantage over the other. *
* Suddenly, there is a bright flash of light and both TheRealMe and TheDarkMe are gone! *
* Nugget the meteor troll lets go a forlorn howl. *
* Meanwhile, thousands of kissies pour down into the common room from the stairs to the balconies, their free and unconditional affection causing a reaction from the evil twins. *
* And Static, Rat, Jet, TheBrightJedi, Jazaf, and innumerable Cozenroaches are on their way, though they'll have to get through the hatches that TWG jammed shut. *
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*TheWhiteJedi floats in interdimensional darkness, lotus position, with a less than entertained expression on his face. He "stands" and ignites his lightsaber, the dark blade lost in the darkness around him. He cuts into the fabric of the interspace.*
On the Adelai Niska: *A tear in space time emerges from nowhere where TWJ had been sitting and drinking his Guinnes. A pitch black lightsaber blade cuts to the floor and TWJ walks in. He snarls at Darth Real, extended canines showing, his eyes shining with brilliant white light, the wings at his back fully extended, he brings his lightsaber up to a defensive position.*
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Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheGreyJedi:
...he brings his lightsaber up to a defensive position.*
...only to find that Darth Real aka TheDarkMe is nowhere to be seen (having just disappeared, final confrontation-style, with his counterpart, TheRealMe). But Darth Ath seems to be free again, and there are a number of evil twins as well...
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Ouch... what the f@*K?
*Emma's plan doesn't seem to work and she can't establish why. The parameters are correct, the path is fine and Emma feels herself being transported from her pseudo-ship to her real ship but she is blocked somehow. Her real ship won't let her on... it is almost as though it is too small for her to enter... but that is impossible.*
*Meanwhile... Rat notices repeated vibrations in his pocket (
) and isn't entirely sure why...*
extremely dimensionally transcendental
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
What is your command, my Masssster?
*Just as Dart Ath is about to reveal his genius plan to Darth Real, he's distracted by the lovely Bride 5.*
(Then all the wacky Spam Gun fun happens, followed by TWJ's appearence from nowhere.)
*Darth Ath spares no words, and immediately launches himself at TWJ, screaming in fury. TWJ is at first taken aback by DA's sudden assault, but quickly recovers and begins to gain the advantage. DA is soon backed against the wall, and it's all he can do to block the ferocious attacks of TWJ.*
*Out of nowhere, Dark Rat launches himself at TWJ. TWJ easily sidesteps the attack, but while he's distracted, DA fires a bolt of Force Lightning, knocking away the Jedi's lightsaber.
DA raises his lightsaber to finish TWJ once and for all. Just as the blow is about to fall, however, Darth Ath is swarmed from behind by kissies.*
Arrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!! Nooooooooo!
*DA fights bravely, and kills many a kissie, but is soon buried under the tide of kissing emoticons.*
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