CAPTION TIGHTPANTS #24 & our initial prize winner!
POSTED BY: TenthCrewMember
UPDATED: Monday, April 25, 2005 08:59
VIEWED: 15165
PAGE 4 of 7
After FOX hears about the DVD sales of Firefly they force the BDHs to do a new reality show in space.
Keep shiny!
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*both whispering*
SOLDIER#2:"*Sir, there are some strange people looking at us from outside....*"
SOLDIER#1:"*I know, just keep looking like you're doing something important......*"
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My own caption game!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
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Time for some thrilling heroics!
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Trooper: "Team One in mess hall, sir, still no sign of the Space Herpes."
Everyone dies alone.
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Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
"The Alliance Easter Egg Hunt continues ..."
Darin (Zol.)
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Quote:
Old Detroit was pretty much cleaned up now that Robocop was patrolling, but, when he brought in his son, Robocop Jr., then things really started looking up.
OR:
Alliance Officer 1: What were these guys eating in here?
Alliance Officer 2: I don't know, but it smells like crotch!
OR:
Purplebelly: Man, that Shepherd must be really, really religious. Look at the size of this communion wafer!
OR:
Mal thought "in the black" was a safe place to be until that damn Alliance Pier 1 opened up.
OR:
Apparently, at the corner of "no and where", you can still get harrassed for running a stop sign.
OR:
Everyone laughed when the sergeant pulled the major's chair out from under him. Laughed until he ended up in the brig, that was.
OR:
Alliance Officer 1: Hey, cool! Strawberries!
Kaylee (OS): NOOOOO!!!
OR:
The Alliance had a good time eating all the fruit aboard Serenity, until they found Jayne's cache of special "Griswold Apples".
OR:
Purplebelly1: Dude, this ship is filthy!
Purplebelly2: Yeah, I know, but check it out...free table chamois!
OR:
(and this one is a long one)
Alliance Officer 1: What did the captain of this rig say his name was?
Alliance Officer 2: Umm...Kraptoken? Klaptraptin? Harboktikking? I can't remember.
Alliance Officer 1: Doesn't matter. Says right here his name is Malcolm Reynolds.
Alliance Officer 2: Not THE Malcolm Reynolds! Not the sergeant who shot you in the ass on Hera and left you to die...or have ass pain!
Alliance Officer 1: One and the same. (Draws gun) I've gotta bullet with his name on it right here.
Alliance Officer 2: We'll have to cut through the nursery. Isn't that where they took the guy they found on this ship?
Alliance Officer 1: I don't see how that's going to matter.
OR:
Purplebelly1: Who're we looking for again?
Purplebelly2: Simon and River Tam...Oh wait, there they are, on the outside of the ship.
Purplebelly1: (Beating on window) Don't make me come out there!
OR:
Alliance Officer 1: Yep, River Tam's been here...See the whoopie cushion on that chair?
Alliance Officer 2: Who's chair is it? Oh wait, there's a name on the back...Jayne...Cobb.
Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."
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Mal: "Wow, that new house cleaning service looks tough!"
Zoe: "Uh, yes sir, lets just stay out here in the shuttle for now, sir."
Everyone dies alone.
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Alliance scavenger hunt:
1) red button....check
2) CG cockroach..check
3) redhead in a box...check
4) catalyzer...check
5) dinosaur...check
6) shredded bible...check
7) placemat
(PB): "Got it!!!"
"That's the buffet table....."
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Quote:
PB1: Look guys! If I hold this in my hand, under the light, I can do a shadow puppet of a Firefly, and I am ON a Firefly! Shiny, eh?
Other PBs (in unison): *GROAN*
OR
"Mighty finite shindig."
OR
[A typical gaming session at the Alliance training facility on Georgia]
Game Master: Okay, you arrive at a grassy knoll. Sitting atop the hill is a gazebo--
Player A: I draw my bow and shoot an arrow at it!
GM: Dude, it's a gazebo.
Player A: I do it anyway.
GM: *sigh* Okay so now there is an gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
Player A: Didn't I hurt it?
GM: No, it is a gazebo!
Player A: Gorrammit! Stupid Earth-that-was RPGs...
Player B: I attack it with my axe! *dice clatter* Shiny! A natural 20! I crit!
GM: *rolls eyes* Okay, so you have splintered the gazebo all over the hill.
Players (in unison): Huzzah!
Player B: What treasure do we get?
Player C: Maybe it's gold!
Player D: I hope we get some funny hats, too!
GM: THERE IS NO TREASURE! IT IS A RUTTING GAZEBO YOU BACKBIRTH KHANGS!
Player E: Well, are the any girls here? Because if so, I wanna do them!
Player F: Yeah! Hey, am I drunk yet? Livin' Legend needs another Mudder's Milk!
GM: *moans in despair*
Cilantro!
TCM
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Quote:
Mr. Burns clears out his annual birthday party in the usual manner.
OR:
Alliance Sergeant: Gorramit Private Davis! How many times have I told you I don't want to see your mime act with the spotlight again!
Private Davis: But Sarge! You already demoted me for walking against the wind!
OR:
Alliance Officer: Ai Ya! That's a lot of blancmange!
OR:
Purplebelly1: Dibs on the cheesewheel!
Purplebelly2: Damn it!
OR:
Mal: Hey, did you guys see my new Purplebelly Farm?
Kaylee: Shiny! They look like lil' ants!
Mal: And, they really hate it when you do this! (Shakes his new Purplebelly Farm)
OR:
Alliance Sergeant: What does that box say, soldier?
Private: Momma's Little Bakery, Chicago That Was, sir!
Alliance Sergeant: Alright men! Who wants to take down the interplanetary cheesecake conglomerate Momma's Little Bakery? How about you, Private Bing?
OR:
Alliance Sergeant: Hey, private! My helmet could use some buffin'!
Alliance Private: Every Gorram time we have to put on the helmets, the same joke! Get some new material, Sarge.
OR:
Purplebelly: Who's halitosis on this boat is so bad they need a Clorets this big?
OR:
Alliance Private: Check it out, Sarge...Wax on, Wax off!
Alliance Sergeant: I don't get it, private.
OR:
Alliance Sergeant: Okay! Bend down and touch your toes...Gotcha! I didn't say Dr. Tam says!
OR:
Thanks to the efforts of the mighty Anglo-Sino Allinace, this kitchen table will not fall into the wrong hands!
And, that's all I got for now...Back with more bad captions tomorrow!
Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."
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Soldier: "Commander, i think you have a problem with your plates being missing..."
"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie
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