CAPTION TIGHTPANTS #24 & our initial prize winner!
POSTED BY: TenthCrewMember
UPDATED: Monday, April 25, 2005 08:59
VIEWED: 15165
PAGE 2 of 7
PB1: No way! I've been looking for these placemats in willow reed brown for months!
PB2: Put that down! We're looking for criminals not tableware.
PB3: They are nice.
PB2: You're not helping.
OR
PB2 (to PB1): What are you doing?
PB1 (slightly confused): Looking for fuggies?
PB2: Under the placemats? What did they find the magical shrink-ray, shrink themselves and crawl under the placemats becuase they knew we'd never look there?
PB1: It could happen!
PB2: *THWACK*
That's it for now...
If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Astragynia:Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
This week on "Trading Spaceships," Alliance troops tackle the Firefly-class ship Serenity...
Soldier 1 (lifting placemat): Look at the varnish-job on this table - it's GOT to go.
Soldier 2: But can we keep the cute flowers on the walls?
Soldier 3 (in background): Look at that trash bin in the corner! SO vintage 20th-century airplane-style... How do smugglers afford such antiques?
I nearly mriffed my water when I read this one! HI-LARIOUS!
If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!
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PB1: They registered for this China?! Theres not even a design on it.
PB2: I can't believe they found a Pottery Barn all the way out here in the Black.
___________________________________________________________
"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."
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A couple more for us SOB's:
PB1: Hey Bob, check this out. If I hold this placemat like this, and wiggle it, it looks like that lemur we saw on that earth-that-was holo the other day!
PB2: Dude! Shadow puppets ROCK!
OR
PB2: You do know we're looking for people right?
PB1: The memo said Porple. I figured whatever it was could be small enough to fit under the placemat. (beat) What's a porple?
PB2: That was a typo you moron!
OR
When asked why she was wasting time looking under placemats Private Wiccy replied:
"It's all Gojiro's fault! Damn those Irish!"
If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!
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Soldier: "This is Team One, sir, we haven't...wait a minute, who left this piece of cilantro here?"
Joss (OS): "Whoops, sorry, that's mine. Scene 12, take 100!"
Everyone dies alone.
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[IMG] [/IMG]
Engraved into the wood:
IF YOU CAN READ THIS THEN YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO THE TABLE.
Or:
A Bubba Ho Tep/Firefly crossover!
(Staring at chinese pinyin etched on the table:)
Alliance Trooper #1: "Now this top line translates into, 'Alliance gobbles donkey goobers,' and the bottom line, Zoe does the nasty.'
Alliance Trooper #2: "Say what?"
Alliance Trooper #1: "Well pretty much, that's the best I can translate it."
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Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Soldier1: But Sir, I´m sure this table was literally talking to me!
Soldier2: Nonesense! Tables don´t talk!
(He knocks on the table!)
Its only wood! Nothing more!
River(O.S): Ouch that hurt! Its never good to hurt a table! I´ll send my army of woodworms after you!
ANGLE ON the confused face of the alliance soldier...
They say it’s the last song
They don’t know us, you see
Its only the last song
If we let it be
http://www.darknessenemyinc.de.vu/
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Steve Irwin (OS): And here we observe the Purplebellies doing their rarely seen dance of the Musical Chairs, believed by some scientists to be a sort of primative mating ritual...
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Quote:
Alliance Trooper1: Ooh, is that him?
Alliance Trooper2: No, that's the dinner table.
Alliance Trooper1: Well, how can we be sure, unless we question it?
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The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes
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I just looked at the finalists for last weeks CT#23. Second time I've made the top 5! 
Even though everybody who reads Caption Tightpants is a winner, it's still an honor to be in the top five.
Quote:
Alliance Grunt: Sir, how does learning which side of the plate the salad fork goes on help us protect cruse ships and defend the border worlds from Reavers?
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The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes
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