Club Confused

POSTED BY: KaySky
UPDATED: Thursday, March 31, 2005 04:54
VIEWED: 29368
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ZOID

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 11:37 PM

Here's one I hope somebody can answer for me:
Why do people find it so much easier to hate than to love each other?

I've been trying to find the answer to that one for several decades now, so if somebody could give me even an approximate answer, I'd sure appreciate it...

Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

KAYSKY

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 2:26 AM

Here's another dish of confused business...

Why is it that when I put a pair of socks into the wash and by the time I pull all the clothes out of the dryer, I only have a single sock? Is there a one-footed lint monster who likes to steal socks? And if there is, why doesn't he just take both? Sure he's only got one foot, but if he takes both, he'd have an extra pair.

Why do I think about these things?

COZEN

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 2:41 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

Here's one I hope somebody can answer for me:
Why do people find it so much easier to hate than to love each other?

I've been trying to find the answer to that one for several decades now, so if somebody could give me even an approximate answer, I'd sure appreciate it...

Respectfully,

zoid

If. If: we could only learn the trick of random acts of kindness.

Naively,
cozen
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

This day keeps getting better and better.

CASUALTY

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 4:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

Here's one I hope somebody can answer for me:
Why do people find it so much easier to hate than to love each other?

Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

Well now you see, this entirely depends on who you are asking me to love! Some people just don't seem to 'get' me. I'm not sure why, I think I'm pretty nice.

On another note, I went to buy and inflateable Dalek today from the bookstore. My friend who I went with told me I was a geek! Why? She has a blow up chair! It's kinda the same thing. Right?

"If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do"

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 5:07 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by KaySky:
Why is it that when I put a pair of socks into the wash and by the time I pull all the clothes out of the dryer, I only have a single sock?

Many years ago in a biology class I solved this mystery...I discovered a Lentel colony. They are small fuzzy creatures that need heat to procreate and prefer to live in utilty rooms. Their diet consists mostly of socks. They are fascinating creatures.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

THEREALME

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 5:39 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

Here's one I hope somebody can answer for me:
Why do people find it so much easier to hate than to love each other?

I've been trying to find the answer to that one for several decades now, so if somebody could give me even an approximate answer, I'd sure appreciate it...

Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

Wow! I get a chance to answer one for Zoid, the Great Philosopher!

Here goes:

Love really needs trust to exist. Trust leaves one vulerable. Nobody likes to be vulerable.

Hate is easier, and does not leave you vulnerable.

It just leaves you alone.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

ZOID

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 6:33 AM

Casualty wrote:

Quote:
Well now you see, this entirely depends on who you are asking me (to?) love! Some people just don't seem to 'get' me. I'm not sure why, I think I'm pretty nice...

Maybe this was the wrong time for me to get all terse, hmmm? I wasn't being a pie-in-the-sky, hug-a-tree sentimentalist. I was being literal. Human beings seem to genuinely feel uncomfortable with the very idea of loving others, including random strangers (with a nod to cozen). But they are perfectly happy to truly despise an unfamiliar face on first sight.

This is confounding, because my experience has shown that humans are generally capable of deeper love than they are hatred. It just appears they are quicker to hate -- if not as deeply -- than they are to either give or accept love. (NB: Substitute the term 'friendship', if the reference to 'love' -- even in a hypothetical way -- leaves you cringing). Is it about distrust, or fear of having their love rejected or abused?

Will Rogers humbly said, "I never met a man I didn't like." While I won't go that far, I can honestly say I have never hated anyone, not even superficially. I always try to find the good in everyone I happen upon. The worst scenario I've ever encountered was having to avoid someone because we just weren't going to get along for whatever reason; but, I never hated them, and if they ever needed help with a computer or moving house or building a deck, I happily pitched in like I would for anybody else, without any expectation of it changing our dynamic afterward (although I always hoped for it).

Yet, I hear people casually confess to truly hating another person all the time. And it's not just another word for 'dislike', either; they're being forthright. And that's not even including those who spew the most vile invective about others all across the Internet; I'm not talking about flame wars, I mean full frontal, tumid hatred.

So maybe someone who reads this -- who hates somebody else -- could explain that process(?) to me. Was it like hate at first sight, or did you start out as 'just friends' and then one magical night it bloomed into hate? I'm being flippant (because that's just me), but I'm actually dead serious: How do you know when you hate another? Do you recall crossing the line between being disappointed or hurt by the other's behavior, and moving into 'seeing red' every time you saw or thought of that other person?

I have family members whom I know are loving people, yet they passionately hate at least one person of their acquaintance. Just as a single example from among many: My wife's got at least 4 people she simply can't stand to be around, without becoming physically and emotionally agitated to an alarming extent. I find the concept of hating someone so viscerally, both totally alien and more than a little unsettling...

Respectfully,

zoid

P.S.
I'm certain you are a perfectly lovely person, Casualty. That's kind of a corollary of my original question: Why would anyone hate you? Because you done 'em wrong? We all do each other wrong; it's part of the human condition. Because you're different? I'm convinced that being an individual is everyone's responsibility.

Like I said, I've been observing this (to me) irrational behavior for many, many (many) years, and I just can't get my head wrapped around it. But I'd like to understand.
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

NEEDLESEYE

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 6:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Quote:
Originally posted by KaySky:
On the subject of men, do they really like blonds better?
... I think guys prefer the auburn and russet tresses of the world.

I wanted to say, been a red head before.
It's a man magnet.

Also, I was once in the presence of an indepth conversation by several men commenting that they would all prefer auburn/red over blonde.

On the confusion topic...
Why do people let their children stand up in shopping carts or leave the kid in the cart and just walk off. Theres little signs on every cart that says do not leave child unattended, standing, etc.
Where's the common sense?

AND why is it where ever you go to the store theres candy at the register. I decided that store management just wants little kids to get in trouble. Kids cry and say they want the candy, parents get mad at them, argument ensues. I just wonder what ratio of kids get into arguments with parents about candy at the check out. Would it make store owners quit putting it there? Nah!

Keeper of Jayne's goggles. 8)

ZOID

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 7:27 AM

On a lighter note ('though not entirely unrelated to my not understanding hatred, I think):

Remember those pictures of random noise that (supposedly) had 3D pictures of trains or teapots encoded in them? You were supposed to stand 3-4 feet back and unfocus your vision -- or focus on a point a foot behing the image -- and then you'd see this bird or beagle materialize out of the random dots and blobs. These monstrosities were all the rage in the malls about 10(?) years ago, based on the original work by Tomás de Torquemada. (NB: You can probably still get them at Spencer Gifts or head shops.)

Well, I never saw anything except dots and blobs, no matter what I tried, and I gave up on the effort altogether after about 20 minutes of fruitless visual contortions. I'm convinced the whole thing was a cruel hoax and that anyone who said they could see the kittens or kites (oohing and ahhing all the while) was only afraid of being labeled a boob for not seeing them. Kind of like the Emperor's clothing that only the truly enlightened could see.

I am either the little boy who proclaimed the Emperor nude or the boob, I guess. Did any of y'all ever see anything in them?

Illusionally,

zoid

P.S.
I see castles and cats in passing cumulus clouds, all the time.
_________________________________________________

"No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!" Monty Python's Flying Circus

ZOID

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 7:32 AM

needleseye wrote, in part:

Quote:
Where's the common sense?

While you're at it, why do they call it 'common sense'? The problem with common sense is that it is so exceedingly uncommon.

I'm thinking this is one of those 'jumbo shrimp' things...

v/r,
-zed

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