In the garden, and RAIN!!! (2)
POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Monday, September 7, 2026 11:50
VIEWED: 338648
PAGE 85 of 834
Hey SIX are you OK?
Instead of arguing with your relativ s about how much meds she should be on, a better tack might be to have them ASK HER how much she should be on. And if you can volunteer your services for a night or two (tell your aunt and dad they need their sleep) you might be able to attend to those other things that she needs.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
It is now white outside. Don't know when it stopped snowing last night. Sun is out right now and computer temp reads 3C. But it is my day to stay in and do nothing much,
Have a nice day of rest, BRENDA.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
I am SIG. Computer temp now reads 6C and the sun is still out.
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Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Hey SIX are you OK?
Instead of arguing with your relativ s about how much meds she should be on, a better tack might be to have them ASK HER how much she should be on. And if you can volunteer your services for a night or two (tell your aunt and dad they need their sleep) you might be able to attend to those other things that she needs.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
By the time you wrote the previous longer post she had already passed. She died around 11AM on Saturday morning. I was out just setting up for working for the day with my friend when it happened. I didn't want to put him out after we'd only been there for a half hour but right when I told him he gave me a hug started packing and said I needed to be with my family. He's a good friend.
She had a brief moment of lucidity when the nurse woke her up on Friday afternoon and I was able to come out and say I love you and she knew who I was and reciprocated. I'm really glad we were able to have that last moment in person instead of over the phone, but I knew from the look in her eyes it was almost over. Once I calmed her and she went back to sleep she never woke up again.
I stayed another two nights after that for my aunt. It's really hitting her hard. Not just her mommy dying, but her fear of living alone. She's going right back to work which I think is a great idea for her, and since it was thunderstorming when she got up I decided to just leave so I could get home and make sure I wasn't flooding (everything is good here).
Going to unload another car full of stuff, get some laundry done and get cleaned up and get ready to go back out there tomorrow afternoon.
I spent most of the days I was there clearing out the rest of the house, and except for some big furniture and things that her kids need to go through, all the trash and goodwill stuff are all staged in the garage to go out now.
We're going to get all of my aunt's stuff downstairs tomorrow after she gets off of work and then get all of the trash bags out to her curb and my uncle's curb. They say you can put unlimited bags out, but we're not going to put 50 bags of trash out in one day on one property.
I still haven't processed that she's gone. It will come. I know one morning after I've been posting here, then I get my work prepped for a project for the day and take a break to drink some coffee and have a smoke while giving her our morning call it's going to hit me halfway through dialing her number that we'll never have another of our little talks.
My aunt had pictures of me and her and Grams at my house on her 89th Birthday just a little over a year ago and we didn't even realize how much weight she's lost in the last year until we saw them. She was still a big gal recently, but she's been dealing with whatever took her for a while now. She never complained about any of it. I hope that's because it wasn't actually bothering her until the breathing problems started.
It all happened so quick...
You've got to make time. Don't put the important things off thinking that everything is still going to be the same when you're done doing whatever it is you're obsessing over that's keeping you from doing them.
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Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
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Everything is out of the car and my garage is still fairly functional. I'll have access to anything I need until spring is officially here and I start up work on the house in earnest again, anyhow. I've got a few projects ahead of me now, but I will find the time to do them. I'll have pictures of what I'm doing when I get to them. You're both going to love my Grandma's hope chest when I fix the broken legs and bottom and refinish it.
There's also another one that's in far better shape but is just a basic rectangle box. My aunt is on the fence about taking it because it is a little beat up and not the right color to match all the furniture she bought for her new apartment. That one is going to be an easy sand down, stain and poly, so I'm going to sneak a Minwax color swatch book over to her apartment and match the stain color and surprise her. She won't even remember it was out there and it's missing in the mean time if I got it out of there now.
As far as family, we're all good. I'm not holding any grudges, no matter how wrong I thought they all handled it. I'm not omniscient and she might have passed just has quickly without the drugs. There's no reason for me to blame them now. And I can't try to keep the family together now that they've come together if I'm too busy being pissed off at everyone, right? They do live quite close to each other and it would be easy for them to get together every once in a while without traveling long distances.
My other aunt, (my blood uncle's wife) has been super nice and bringing food over for me and my Aunt and I'm THRILLED about her progress with her therapist over the whole Covid/Mask thing. All I'd heard so far for months and months was that she wouldn't leave the house or the rare occasion she did or had any people over she wore a mask and she'd make everyone else wear masks too. She hasn't had a mask on the whole time... but because I knew of this I didn't want to get too close to her. But the first time I saw her as they were leaving she came up to me and gave me a big hug and thanked me for all the support and the work I've done on the house the last year (that they don't have to worry about doing now). We've hugged every time since. If I didn't know what she had been going through before, I never would have known about her anxiety issues over Covid/masks/vaccines after seeing her this week. In fact, it never even came up.
I'm hoping that everybody can put their past behind them and we can continue getting together under better circumstances. Nobody is fighting over any possessions, which is awesome. My Grams did her entire family a solid and didn't really have anything besides junk from the last 60 years. It's not like on the other side of the family when the 20 cousins picked away at everything like vultures after the adults got the really good stuff. Hopefully the house sells quickly, the burial doesn't cost too much and they can just split what little there will be up fairy without any bitching or resentment. I'm feeling good about it. I'm so glad I pushed my aunt into getting into that apartment when her number came up a year ago and she's already established there instead of the nightmare of her trying to find an affordable place in this economy while the house is on the market.
I know she's really afraid of living alone since it will be the first time she ever has, and it's going to take her far longer than anybody else to get over Grandma's death, but she's got me at least, and hopefully, if we play our cards right... she's got some support from the rest of the family now too.
And I've just got to keep telling her that living alone is awesome. It's easy to do because it's true. 
Everything should be alright. We've just got to clear the rest of the place out, find our time to mourn the loss and start the next cha
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*Hugs* SIX and I am so sorry for your loss. I know this is huge for you and don't be afraid of the anger and the feeling of missing your grandmother. You've lost something precious but you have your memories of her.
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Out for my walk and errands in the snow. Need my boots and my cane. It is trying to warm up though. Computer temp reads 4C.
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Oh SIX, I'm so sorry. *Hugs*
Many cancers are relatively painless, except towards the last week or month. That sounds like your g'ma. I'm glad you had that time together. She loved you and you loved her, and she knew it. It was a comfort to her, and I hope that brings you comfort too.
*hugs*
I'm glad so see you posting again. I was worried about you.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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Back and in from my walk and all done for today. Computer is calling for rain right now. But it is cold out.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
*Hugs* SIX and I am so sorry for your loss. I know this is huge for you and don't be afraid of the anger and the feeling of missing your grandmother. You've lost something precious but you have your memories of her.
Thanks Brenda.
I think the anger is gone already. The missing part hasn't really hit me yet though. I know it will once I slow down enough and really let it sink in.
Right now it's all about my aunt for me. She's a little lost right now. She's strong though. With a little help she should be fine.
And while I'm there for support I still have plenty to keep me busy clearing out the rest of the house.
You hate to say it, but she has no idea yet how much easier her life just got. Sure, she's going to have to take lessons from me on budgeting without a dual income anymore, but there are no more nights to come home and tend to somebody else after a full day of labor, no more weekends spent shopping for two and spending half a day with the showering process, no more shoveling or yardwork, and once that old house finally gets sold she won't have the other albatross of a 100+ year old house falling down around her. Compared to all of that, apartment living is easy. She's not even going to know what to do with all that free time.
Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Oh SIX, I'm so sorry. *Hugs*
Many cancers are relatively painless, except towards the last week or month. That sounds like your g'ma. I'm glad you had that time together. She loved you and you loved her, and she knew it. It was a comfort to her, and I hope that brings you comfort too.
*hugs*
I'm glad so see you posting again. I was worried about you.
Thanks Sigs. Yeah, I was fine. Since I don't have a smartphone, living in that house is like living in the 1980s/90s. I'm going to miss it. I'll miss the comfort of it. No matter how many years or decades passed, it always stayed the same and always felt like Home whenever you came back to it.
I'll take some time at some point to really process the idea that she's really gone. She will be missed.
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Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
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I was sad when my g'mas house was sold, and no matter how long I stay away, visiting the family house still feels like home.
I think your aunt will be happy with her newfound freedom but she'd better find a hobby and/or some friends to fill up her time. She sounds like a sociable person who is used to company.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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