In the garden, and RAIN!!! (2)
POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Monday, September 7, 2026 11:50
VIEWED: 338648
PAGE 83 of 834
Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Hey SIX, when MIL was in hospice they gave us a book "What to expect when someone is dying". I don't have it anymore but found this updated version online:
https://www.cancer.org/treatment/end-of-life-care/nearing-the-end-of-l
ife/death.html
One thing has stuck with me thru all the years and I apply it to every person or animal in question: Are they interested in eating and drinking? If yes, their body is still struggling to live.
If not, don't force food on them altho sips of water make patient more comfortable. Their body is shutting down. Digestion won't happen and food will literally spoil in their stomach.
Also, people and animals near death get drowsy, even without sedation or painkillers.
That being said, it's hard to tell the difference between sedation and dying. One thing you can do is go online and look up the normal dosage for whatever painkiller she's on. Take her weight into account, they often calculate a standard dosage for an average 150 lb person,altho they sometimes helpfully provide a mg per kg dosage as well. (Divide her estimated weight in pounds by 2.2 to get kg.)
That way you can compare her dosage to "normal" and see whether you have reason to think she's being overdosed or if this is just the way she is now.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
She's CONSTANTLY thirsty. My dad said he only got one hour of sleep last night and spent most of the night either spraying water from a bottle into her mouth, giving her water from a straw, or giving her the sponge stick... She would dictate to him which one she wanted. He said she really didn't say much other than asking for water. That may just be because my Dad isn't much of a conversationalist. Maybe, maybe not.
I wish there was a way to just get her to drink a big glass of water. Poor thing is dehydrated and her lips are constantly dry because she breathes through her mouth when she sleeps (this isn't new... she's been doing that at least the last few years before she got sick).
She's only eating apple sauce and pudding now. She'd probably choke on anything even remotely solid in her state.
The cath is still getting filled up and she's still pooping. My aunt said that she did a pretty big one while the nurse was there today. I don't know how, considering how little she's been eating the last few days, but it was solid... so maybe the constipation meds are alright without the additional suppository.
I will do as you said and check her scrip vs her body weight. I do have limited access to the internet through the laptop I got my aunt 2 years ago if I use her cell phone as a hotspot.
She was talking about the moon "pushing" her or something about a half an hour ago while I was talking to my aunt. I could hear her talking in the background and told my aunt to tell her that her grandson Jack loves her. My aunt asked her if she heard that and she said "I love you too Jack".
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Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
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Hey, drinking and eating is a good sign. Her body is trying to revive. Accommodate her with as much as she asks for.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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So, SIX, the problem with drowsiness and/or confusion and/or weakness is that it can have multiple cuases, especially in someone complicated like your g'ma. In her case it could be poor oxygenation, infection, painkillers/sedatives, dehydration, low bloodsugar or something else. There are so many possible causes that it can require a process of elimination: think of all likely causes and eliminate them one by one and look for improvement. In your g'mas situation it was probably several things: poor oxygentaion caused by fluid around the lung, infection, dehydration, post-anesthesia reaction, and adjustment to painkillers, and I would guess the first two were the most important. It didn't make sense to me that she would suddenly get worse after her breathing improved, but if she had a massive UTI that would go a long way to explaining the problem. Not an expert here, but FWIW people don't die of "cancer". They die of something SPECIFIC that cancer is interfering with. In the case of lung cancer it's usually from cancer interfering with the lungs' capabity to absorb oxygen.
If she has an adjustable hospital bed, raising the head of the bed AND raising the knees (or putting pillows under her knees and calves so she doesn't keep sliding down the bed) might help her breathe better, but everyone is an individual. You have to try and see.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
So, SIX, the problem with drowsiness and/or confusion and/or weakness is that it can have multiple cuases, especially in someone complicated like your g'ma. In her case it could be poor oxygenation, infection, painkillers/sedatives, dehydration, low bloodsugar or something else. There are so many possible causes that it can require a process of elimination: think of all likely causes and eliminate them one by one and look for improvement. In your g'mas situation it was probably several things: poor oxygentaion caused by fluid around the lung, infection, dehydration, post-anesthesia reaction, and adjustment to painkillers, and I would guess the first two were the most important. It didn't make sense to me that she would suddenly get worse after her breathing improved, but if she had a massive UTI that would go a long way to explaining the problem. Not an expert here, but FWIW people don't die of "cancer". They die of something SPECIFIC that cancer is interfering with. In the case of lung cancer it's usually from cancer interfering with the lungs' capabity to absorb oxygen.
I've already been told not to bring up the drugs again. That doesn't mean I'm not going to, but it does mean that more arguments are on the way.
One of my Uncles died in that house of cancer after having a balloon installed after cutting out a bad bladder. The didn't bother testing the rest of his body though, and he never recovered from that operation because he was already riddled with cancer everywhere, including his brain.
The doctor said Grandma's lung cancer was metastatic. In their minds this is brain cancer now. It doesn't matter that the Doctor last week said she has 6 months to live, the dumbass nurse is telling them now that she has a week to live and they're both buying into that.
She's not eating right because she's a heroin addict now. Not because she's "dying of cancer".
It doesn't matter that we're fixing the UTI and she's been cathed. It doesn't matter that she's crapping solid on her own without a supposotory. They're not going to lower the dosage. They want her to die and be out of her misery, and the idiot nurse telling them that she has a week to live is justifying their bad thought pattern.
Honestly, Sigs... Do you think I might be onto something that the bankrupt Medicare system in Illinois promotes this behavior from the nurses and/or trains them to be this way? Or is this just a really bad nurse with a friendly demeanor?
Quote:
If she has an adjustable hospital bed, raising the head of the bed AND raising the knees (or putting pillows under her knees and calves so she doesn't keep sliding down the bed) might help her breathe better, but everyone is an individual. You have to try and see.
Grandma only wants the bed up. She hates when it's down, even if it was just long enough to change her diapers. I'll try the pillows under her knees and see how that goes.
Thanks.
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Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
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SIX, I know that once you get something in your head it's hard to dislodge, and you have this idea that "It's the meds" but both my MIL and hubby were on MASSIVE doses of very strong painkillers ... Including tramadol, oxycodone, hydrocodone, and liquid morphine... and it didn't affect their appetites.
You mentioned Norco. Norco is the [correction] SECOND- weakest possible opiate painkiller. It's a lot of Tylenol and a little [correction] hydrocodone. It's never sent any of us into lala-land and it will NOT terminally sedate anyone at normal doses. You would have to take a bottle-full to do that. If that's your concern you can set that aside. Save your worry for the strong stuff. It CAN make some people nauseated tho, and that can put people off eating.
EDITED TO ADD: There are so many possible causes for your g'mas weakness, drowsiness and/or confusion that figuring it out might be impossible. Solve her knowm medical problems first: oxygenation, hydration, infection before hunting for more problems. Is she on oxygen? Is anyone checking her oxygenation regularly? Is she being turned so that fluid can drain from her lungs and she doesn't develop bedsores? Is her UTI cleared up? Is she downing at least a quart of water a day? (Set aside a one-quart bottle by her bedside)
Yanno, I don't trust doctors or nurses to accurately dx everything. I had to dx our daughter bc what she had was so rare it was dismissed out-of-hand by her Neuro. I second-guess my doctors all the time (usually quietly, to myself, but occasionally loudly, if I think they're seriously wrong.) In my whole adult life theres only been one doctor in whose hands I unreservedly placed my life.
I pay close attention to the meds I'm taking to assess whether they're effective or have intolerable side effects. I take my own bp, oxygenation, blood sugar and weight. When one specialist Rxs a meducation for me, I pass it by the other specialists for their blessing. When I see my doctors with questions, complaints, or suggestions I have dates, number, pictures, notes... I'm the kind of patient they probably hate.
But doctors and nurses do have access to tests and the Rx pad, and you have to do your due diligence and not alienate them if you question them, on your g'mas behalf. And you had better be right bc it's not worth alienating family, nurses, and other hospice caregivers over nothing.
I went hunting online and found this
Quote:
It can be tricky to determine if your symptoms are related to brain mets or not. One indicator is if your symptoms come and go or if they are chronic. If you are experiencing a symptom that comes and goes, it is less likely to be related to cancer. Talk with your doctor about any symptoms you are experiencing.
https://www.lung.org/lung-health-diseases/lung-disease-lookup/lung-can
cer/symptoms-diagnosis/lung-cancer-staging/brain-metastasis
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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Out for my walk and return something to the library.
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Congrats on the win at your mahjong pickup game, BRENDA! Days like that feel pretty good!
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Congrats on the win at your mahjong pickup game, BRENDA! Days like that feel pretty good!
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
They do feel good.
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Back from my walk and even managed to get an inside chore done that I've been putting off for a while. Cleaning the bathtub.
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Quote:One of my least favorite chores. Even lower than scrubbing the toilets.
Originally posted by Brenda:
Back from my walk and even managed to get an inside chore done that I've been putting off for a while. Cleaning the bathtub.
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Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
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