In the garden, and RAIN!!! (2)
POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Monday, September 7, 2026 11:50
VIEWED: 338648
PAGE 81 of 834
Pick up game of mah jong tomorrow.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Out for my walk and my pick up game in a bit.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:Hope it went your way.
Originally posted by Brenda:
Out for my walk and my pick up game in a bit.
-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Well... They already had her so Norco'd up by the time I got there she's pretty much tripping balls 24/7. After my anger at the hospital the week before, they both decided upon themselves that they were going to lie to me and keep giving her the meds and just tell me that she's "old and tired".
Who TF do they think they're talking to? If I didn't do the drugs myself, I was around people who did them, and the stuff reminiscent of what they've already got her on was the stuff that old friends of mine all either died from or went away to prison after letting it ruin their lives.
It was apparent from minute one that my window to watch those movies with her had been artificially closed by heroin.
She'd have some brief moments of lucidity where she'd recognize who I was, but instead of being able to enjoy that time together I'd have her pleading with me to get her up out of that bed and she'd be moving her legs like she was riding a bicycle and moving her arms around like she was lifting weights and telling me that her strength was coming back and if she could just sit in her chair everything would be okay until nurse Rached came around and made her high as a kite again and my heart broke all over again.
Tensions were high this morning, after 1 night of me and my aunt getting 1 hour of sleep because she said 1,000 times she had to pee but she couldn't. I finally managed to get her wake my uncle up at 4AM so we could get her on the comode (against hospice orders), and she peed about half a gallon of brown, foul smelling urine. (Yes... After saying it was a possibility all day long and being shot down by everyone that this was the case, it was finally verified 2 days later she has a UTI and she'll be delivered meds for that by 10PM tonight).
NO WONDER SHE WAS IN PAIN. My aunt and Dad were saying all day into the night she was being a drama queen and didn't have to pee because she wasn't using the diaper and the nurse (which they seem to think knows everyting) didn't give her a cath.
Guess what? Next morning she came right over and gave her a cath. (And then they did the test and verified this afternoon she has a UTI).
Then she had to crap all day, so she kept pushing even though she shouldn't be pushing because of the cath, and the suppository took 8 hours to give her any release. I changed her diaper 7 times by midnight last night. Two man job with my aunt that she wouldn't have even been able to do without me because we're talking about doing it to a 90 year old 230lb woman on enough drugs to put down a horse.
I left her tonight (day 3) and she hasn't been able to even talk or eat all day after the last pill I witnessed her being given at 6:30AM. I've been told she hasn't had any more drugs since then, but i know that's bullshit.
I rubbed her forehead for a few minutes, kissed her on the forehead and told her I love her.
It may be the last time I see her alive.
My dad's staying over tonight and he's going to force my aunt to sleep upstairs so she finally gets some sleep.
My dad told me to leave. And because I have no vote on how they're handling this because she's not my Mom, that's for the best. I don't want to hate both of them, and the longer I had to see her zombified because of their decisions the greater the chance that I might not ever be able to forgive them.
They're not even worried that she isn't eating. The only concern they had was how they were going to continue to put the pills in her if she couldn't swallow them. They're not evil people. They think they're doing the right thing because they're being told by people who have been wrong about everything so far that this is the right thing to do. They did not see the look in her eyes while she was grasping my forearm with both of her hands, begging me to let her get up and sit in her chair. She isn't afraid of death. She's just not ready to go yet
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
SIX, what is the point of trying to get her active? You're not going to make her healthy again. It would have been pointless,for example, for me to tell my MIL not to eat a Big Mac, if that's what she wanted. At that point, eating well, or badly, or exercising or not wasn't going to make a difference.
I get that you want her to enjoy herself in the time that she has left, but you have to temper that with making sure she isn't in pain. It should be up to her how much pain meds she needs or wants, not anyone else either withholding or imposing meds Some ppl don't experience much pain at all. A good friend of mine, once his symptoms were under control, started eating better and exercising and spent that time saying goodbye, but in his last month he opted to be snowed under bc by then the pain had become too great
My MIL was in a great deal of pain in her last 6 months bc the cancer had spread to her bones. It had also spread to her brain and not only made her forget words, it made her terrified. Both pain control and sedation were needed.
Hubby was in a lot of pain both before and immediately after back surgery. The pharmacy was very uncomfortable with his prescriptions, but he's a big guy and also very resistant to pain meds and sedatives (to the anniyance of anyone who needed to do a "procedure" on him). But he was bound and determined to get off pain meds, so after fiddling around with reductions he found a suitable rate of one pill per week and was off of them in two months.
Codeine makes me sick. Demerol takes me to heaven.
The one thing you need to be aware of is that if someone has been on a certain level of pain meds for a week, you can't just yank a whole bunch. The person will be in withdrawal. And if they ask for more pain meds, give it to them. It's not like being dependent on painkillers is going to ruin their lives or land them in . I think they have bigger problems to deal with.
Everyone's perception of pain is individual. Different pain meds do different things. To the extent possible, let your g'ma be your guide
-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
She's not asking for any pain meds. She's doped up and just doing whatever she's told when they give her another one. In any moments of lucidity she's had, other than when nobody would let her pee for 15 hours straight, she never once complained about any pain or discomfort.
Despite her begging and pleading with us all day and all night long to get her on a toilet, they would have let her go without peeing sitting down for another 9 hours when the care taker showed up if I didn't force the issue. The UTI, coupled with her obesity, coupled with that horrible hospice bed had her completely blocked up. The second we got her on the comode she let loose a half gallon of the rankest, brownest pee I've ever seen or smelled. Now that they finally cathed her a day after they SHOULD HAVE, she doesn't have any problems with urnine activity. She still has a slight fever though because they took their sweet ass time testing her urine and getting the antibodies to her.
My aunt fought me tooth and nail about getting her up, and my Uncle said he didn't want to do it either, even after he made his way over there after being woken up 2 hours before he would have woke up for work. I told them I apologize if we do this and nothing comes out and finally got them to do it. When my Dad came over he gave me a bunch of shit that they could have gotten into legal trouble because we got her on the comode when they specifically ordered us not to ever let her out of that bed again.
Every one of them say that they don't expect her to live until next Friday. And now that she's so doped up that she hasn't eaten anything since the pudding I fed her last night, I don't doubt that.
I had a good cry after writing that last message. I feel better.
--------------------------------------------------
Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Well, that's a shame. In my experience it seems caregivers err on the side of either too much ... Bc they hate to see someone suffer, or too little bc they have a fear of addicting the patient. They rarely get it right.
I would definitely make a pitch for GRADUALLY reducing pain meds and upping the personal care. Sudden withdrawal causes all kinds of negative effects so if you do manage a reduction it's going to have to be slow.
-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
There's no willingness to do it. The only reason my Grandma was able to keep up a conversation at all and kiss me when I went in for a hug that first night was because he and my aunt were only giving her half a norco instead of the full pill that hospice ordered every 8 hours. She was still OBVIOUSLY loopy and in no condition to watch a movie with me, but she knew where she was and who was with her at least. She did really enjoy the music I got for her while she was still aware enough to hear it. There was actually a "Three Little Pigs" song from back then and she even sang along to it. 
After my Grandma kept me and my Aunt up all night with the pee thing, they started giving her the full pill that was ordered even though we fixed that issue. My dad doesn't even argue that anymore.
After she went to the full pill yesterday afternoon she was in pure la-la land the rest of the time (aside from those two brief moments of pleading to get up when she was lucid again), up until she got her full pill this morning and she did nothing but sleep and occasionally open her eyes and spout pure gibberish all day long. And now she doesn't even eat and they wonder how they're even going to get her to swallow the next pill.
Everybody (except for me, obviously) wishes they could just get her in the car and drive her to Minnesota and have her put down.
It's horrible to see your own family in this light. I am trying my very best not to judge them too harshly.
--------------------------------------------------
Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:Quote:Hope it went your way.
Originally posted by Brenda:
Out for my walk and my pick up game in a bit.
-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
It did SIG. I went out 8 times and had 3 hands with over 1,000points. Last hand I got 6 doubles in it and finished the afternoon with over 8,000 points. So, I won.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
On my walk back this afternoon after mah jong it was trying to snow on me. There is still a call for snow just have to see. Got some real arctic air sitting over the western half of Canada along with a storm coming up from the eastern US set to hit Ontario and Quebec, along with Atlantic Canada. Not fun.
I am so over winter right now it's not funny.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME