The NEW Faster Loading Treehouse
POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Saturday, January 15, 2005 20:09
VIEWED: 26954
PAGE 15 of 21
* Another dimensional portal opens near the Pub at the Bottom of the Tree and The Real Me staggers out, clearly fatigued. He is followed by various Treehouse members who had been in their rooms during the disaster. *
I’ll have to check the roof for the Grey Jedi, now.
* The Real Me opens another portal, but this one is barely a foot across. He takes a couple of deep breaths, concentrates, and it opens wide enough for him to squeeze his upper body through. The Real Me pulls The Grey Jedi out. *
Okay! Are we all accounted for? Is anyone missing?
* The Real Me turns to SimonWho. *
Yes, they will eat anybody.
* The Real Me turns to PsychicRiver, who is still dripping in monster gore. *
Well, what’s going to happen NEXT?
The Real Me
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
* PsychicRiver does not respond, implying either shock or the onset of another Vision. *
What about the rest of you? We need a plan to retake the Treehouse.
With my dimensional travel power, I can provide a convenient secret entrance for us, but the monster is too big for me to move to another dimension on my own. Plus, we have to get my shoe back, or else it could return.
What other super powers do we have access to? If any of you had been keeping them secret, now might be a good time to reveal them.
Let me see what I can remember...
PsychicRiver can receive visions of danger... AFTER it's too late to do anything about.
Ebo can communicate with sea life and muppets.
Mal-licious possesses inhumanly great beauty, combined with an appropriately-sized ego. Uh, sorry, I mean "force of personality".
The Grey Jedi can create technological marvels out of random piles of useless crap.
ManicNumberOne... Oh, right.
* The Real Me reaches into his shirt pocket to remove the inch-high figure of ManiacNumberOne, then sets him carefully on Zoid's bar. *
ManicNumberOne can shrink himself down so that he could fit in someone's pocket... he used to do that with Wela.
Hmmm... Clandestiny could generate an inpenetrable force field, but I haven't seen HIM around in a long time. And he never joined the Treehouse.
* The Real Me turns to SimonWho. *
Hey, didn't you once say that you could destroy entire planets? It's not that I'm asking for a demonstration, mind you, but... do you think that you could... you know... scale that down a bit?
The Real Me
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
I'm afraid it's whole planets or nothing with me really. Sorry but my powers aren't that great. They include:
1) Destroying whole planets (by the way, if anyone can stop a G. Bush from Texas repeatedly calling me and asking for my help, I'd be much obliged)
2) Being a Doctor, healing the sick, tending the wounded, filling out three hundred pages of paperwork relating to same.
3) Unintentionally hurting the feelings of women I am attracted to (very good at this one).
4) Getting beaten up by one-eyed men who have been locked up in a tiny cage for several years.
5) Confusing the words Summer and River. Hang on, I did it again, I meant River and Summer. Boh!
I'm probably best used as a backup, to heal those injured by your no doubt insane plan to take back the Treehouse. Either that or I'll look through my textbooks to find some hidden flaw in the monster's physiology.
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Ok, good....we're out. Excellent moves TRM.
Erm, well my powers stretch to...
Apparitions....Visions....Flashbacks....Sensing Things....
I can read and occasionally control minds, but that always shorts out on me.
And sometimes when I concentrate, I can do telekinesis, but only small objects! I'm still learning!
Okay, *Swipes hand over face* I have to get this purple goo off of my face, it's starting to sting!!
TRM, can u open somewhere with water, say in a water pipe, then it could just wash all this pap off my face?
Right...plan....plan...think PsychicRiver, think!
Well...if we can't transport the creature into another dimension, then we're gonna have to get it out of the treehouse, and onto the groun, where we stand a better chance of destroying it.
I hate so say this, but we're gonna have to destroy one of the walls of the tree house, then the grey jedi can make a machine to launch it into the air and we can all-
*PsychicRiver stops talking and goes into another stare...*
Okay, I'm having another one.
*The images flash through PR's mind....
PR blinks and comes back to reality.*
Ok, I know what to do. I need you ALL to go back into the treehouse, and start to attack it. ONLY those strong enough will go. We can't risk losing anyone. We've already lost Sparky... 
*Pr gets teared up.* Look, if we get through this, it's possible that the Grey Jedi can fix up Sparky, good as new! But first we need to get rid of that thing.
Right, we will divise a team that will go back into the treehouse, and attack the creature. We need to confuse it, get it all turned around so it's mentally weakened.
TRM, your a key player here... you're gonna need to be opening up portals left right and centre, we need to keep people hopping in and out all over the place, really confuse it...also, some physical pain would not go a miss. And TRM, you need to get your shoe back.
You'll all need to use your powers to weaken this thing, then...once it's weak enough and TRM has gotten his shoe back....then I'm gonna do my thang.
I'm gonna try and take control of it's mind. The more you confuse it...the easier it will be, and the longer I can keep control. We need to get down his mental defenses.
Once I'm in control, and I'm gonna take a loo around and work out how I can make it open a portal and go back through it. Hopefully I can do it. Fingers crossed everyone!
Ok, now onto questions....
TRM; Tell me what it's like opening up dimensional portals....tell me how to do it....and then once I'm inside, I can do it as quickly as possible.
All: Who;s up for being on the team to attack the creature?
oh and ManiacNumberOne, you can be useful, sounds icky but trust me, I've just had purple blood sprayed all over me...but I want you to shrink really small, and go in the beast ear, annoy it as much as possible, but once I'm in control - get out - ASAP, otherwise you'll be going to the purple-verse.
Now, sign up! Sign up! 
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue." 
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
I've got a power!!!!!
I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.
*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*
I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.
*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*
Let's go!
www.thatweirdgirl.com
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
I've got a power!!!!!
I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.
*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*
I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.
*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*
Let's go!
www.thatweirdgirl.com
Ok, let's do this thang....
Right, I'm gonna do my best to help you out....we could even be linked. I can hear your thoughts...(I hope your not horny....or do I?....and I can speak to you telepathicly...
So lets try this!
*crosses fingers*
(btw, my pc's going in 4 a check up 2mo....so i may not be about for a while! hopefully be back by monday and if plot requires it...then someone else can write my reactions or whatever...)
Peace.
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
*Ebo watches from under her pool table, her face set in stone. There is no damn way that she's gonna leave her ice cream stash to get slimed by some big ugly monster. She watches the others take up arms and sighs.*
Ok fine.
*She crawls out from underneath the pool table and joins the others.*
What are my powers again? Oh yeah. Talking to sea life and muppets. And feminine wiles. You forgot feminine wiles.
Hey! Idea! I have the perfect plan of attack! Garnteed succes! Its to, um, oh wait. Crap. I forgot what it was. Nevermind. Contune as planed. I relinqish my command to You and PhsyicRiver because I haven't the foggyest clue whats goin on.
-----------------------------------
Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
I've got a power!!!!!
I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.
*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*
I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.
*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*
Let's go!
www.thatweirdgirl.com
* The Real Me looks oddly at ThatWeirdGirl. *
Oh, so THAT’S what is going on. It’s just your super power. I thought there might be some OTHER reason I always get distracted and confused around you.
* The Real Me takes ThatWeirdGirl’s shoe and turns to PsychicRiver. *
So, PsychicRiver, you want to know what it’s like to open holes in dimensions? Well, it’s sort of like… Ummmm… Well, I just DO it. It’s hard to put in words. But watch and listen, and I’ll try to explain.
* The Real Me comes near PsychicRiver, and closes his eyes. *
See, first I need to get a sense of what I want to open onto. There are countless realities out there, and I can almost always find something close to what I desire. For example, right now I am imagining a cool, crystal-clear lake bottom. Since I’m not being too specific, I have no idea if this lake bottom is a short walk away, on the other side of the Earth, or in another dimension entirely. For our purposes, it doesn’t really matter.
* The Real Me extends his right hand near PsychicRiver’s head, and points at nothing with his index finger. *
I can sort of FEEL space-time. It has a texture to me. I think of it like a loosely woven fabric. Now, I can poke my finger through the weave of that fabric, parting it to find, on the other side, the very thing that I imagined, and so…
* A spot of light appears at The Real Me’s fingertip. It slowly expands to about a hand-span in width, a ring of fire around a dark void. Suddenly, a high-pressure stream of water issues from it, knocking TheRealMe and PsychicRiver down with the force of a fire hose. *
Oooops! Too deep. I’ll imagine a SHALLOW lake.
* The gush of water reduces to resemble a gentle shower. The Real Me gets to his feet, and helps PsychicRiver up.*
There, PsychicRiver, now you can get cleaned up.
Oh, another thing. Ripping holes in reality can be tiring. The larger the portal is, and the faster it opens or closes, the more it takes out of me. Snapping that little one shut to cut through the tentacle almost caused me to pass out. Right now, I really have to rest. After all the things I did during our escape, all I can manage are tiny portals that nobody could actually fit through.
* The Real Me raises an eyebrow and glances at ManiacNumberOne. *
Except…
Maniac? You want to try some scouting?
The Real Me
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
This monster is probably out to retrieve the ice cream that I… ummmmm… FOUND… during my visit in its home dimension. We have a tub of THAT over there on the ground by the wrecked pool table.
Hey, Ebo, don’t eat ALL of it!
We could probably use this ice cream to lure it away from the Treehouse to someplace where we can deal with it. But how do we deal with it? If we send it back to its own dimension, it could just return. Even without the shoe, it could have gotten a good enough impression of this place in the time it’s been here.
* The Real Me thinks for a couple of seconds, then snaps his fingers. *
Okay, I think I’ve got it. Here are my ideas. Perhaps we can incorporate a couple of plans together into one Master Plan.
The Grey Jedi uses some trash bags, motorcycle helmets, bicycle tire pumps, empty pepsimilk bottles, and crazy-straws to construct some custom-fitted vacuum suits. Let’s see… at least for Ebonezer, ThatWeirdGirl, SimonWho, PsychicRiver, and myself. We suit up.
Since this monster is sort of like an octopus, perhaps Ebo can communicate with it. She could tell it that we are going to take the ice cream far, far away. (You are right, Ebo, I DID forget your “wiles”, but I’m not sure that they would apply in this case.)
We run like hell, and it chases us. If at any time the monster seems to be giving up its chase, Ebo can taunt it like a Monty Python French knight. If at any time PsychicRiver gets a BAD FEELING, like the world is about to end or something, we can reconsider our actions.
Now, as it chases us, I open a dimensional portal to some worthless uninhabitable rockball planet and we go through. I leave the portal open long enough that the monster can see where we are. The monster follows us using its own abilities. Or perhaps PsychicRiver can implant such a suggestion into its mind, or take it over to MAKE it follow us.
We quickly depart THAT planet using another dimensional portal, while SimonWho destroys the planet behind us, slaying the monster and, incidentally, vaporizing my left shoe.
But what is to keep the monster escaping destruction by using its own dimensional powers? Can ThatWeirdGirl’s confusion power be sufficient to keep it from running off? Or can PsychicRiver hold it immobile with some kind of mind block?
Hmmmmm…
I think that we might also need somebody with super-strength to hold the monster in one place while SimonWho destroys the planet. This needs to be someone who doesn’t particularly mind being destroyed WITH the planet, or else someone who is invulnerable as well as super-strong.
Any volunteers? No? Dammit! Clandestiny’s force field would certainly be useful here!
Well, I have another prospect in mind, if we need such a person. Hmmmm… Actually, someone with super-strength could be useful in the fight even if we DON’T leave him or her behind to be destroyed.
Anyway, so what do you all think? Is this plan so crazy that it might just work? Or is it just crazy? We might even be able to keep the ice cream.
Of course, if ThatWeirdGirl can make friends with the monster, all this planning is unnecessary.
The Real Me
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Of course, if ThatWeirdGirl can make friends with the monster, all this planning is unnecessary.
The Real Me
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)
well, let's see if I can make friends first, 'kay. That way no one has to get too worked up or tired. TRM, you need to hang on to my shoe just in case I need out quickly.
*Looks at smouldering treehouse ladder and grabs it. TWG slowly climbs up to her posible ruin*
Wish me luck!
www.thatweirdgirl.com
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME