The NEW Faster Loading Treehouse
POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Saturday, January 15, 2005 20:09
VIEWED: 26954
PAGE 17 of 21
* As the Real Me's head clears, he wonders what he is doing arm-in-tentacle with the Purple People Eater. Hmmmm... Nobody seems to have been eaten by it, yet. *
* There is ThatWeirdGirl pouring more pepsimilk for the creature. There is Ebonezer, speaking earnestly to the monster, face to... uh... sensor cluster. The Real Me can't quite make out what language they are speaking. Ebo seems a little apprehensive. *
* And there is the monster... Ah... right next to The Real Me, with its slimy tentacle wrapped around his hand. But wait, she has a name, doesn't she? Enola Gay? No. Inola Teg. That's right. *
* Teggy? *
* The Real Me hopes that Teggy isn't still sore about that missing tentacle. Perhaps it will grow back. *
* The Real Me notices that Teggy is playing with a ball, happily bouncing it up and... *
* The Real Me snatches Sparky's head away in mid-bounce. *
Ahem! If you'll all excuse me, I have a little repair work to do.
* The Real Me disengages himself from Teggy's tentacles and tries to walk away, but he falls. Now why would The Real Me be wearing a woman's right shoe on his own left foot? *
The Real Me
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*wander in and looks around*
OMF! It's that treehouse place all the SOB's where talking about!
I found it! I found it! I freak'n Found it!
Yay me!
So how KOOL is it that I just got back from the Mid-night showing of Monthy Python's Holy Grail?!?!?!
I mean I pulled up the AMC Levee schedule for Phantom times (which I saw for the second time as well) and there, in the list for Fri and Sat was a Mid-night showing of Holy Grail!!!
WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!
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* Startled, The Real Me awakens. He is somewhat suprised and dismayed to have been using Sparky's head as a pillow. He opens one bleary eye and looks around, to see... *
Wiccanslyr???
* The Real Me scrambles to his feet. *
Wiccanslyr, I...
* The Real Me falls again. He removes ThatWeirdGirl's right shoe from his left foot, and stands again. *
Ah... it's great to see you again! Welcome to our...
* As The Real Me gestures, he looks about at the devastation that is the Treehouse common room. Furniture is splintered into bits. The bar is in two pieces, its mirror cracked and most bottles shattered. Rubble is strewn about the room. Things that may have been pinball machines or video games line the wall. A large plasma TV has a bar stool embedded into the screen, which is leaking plasma. There is a sheen of purple goo covering a large spot on the floor. *
Ah, excuse the mess.
* The Real Me franticly looks about for Inora Teg, hoping that she had not eaten Ebo or ThatWeirdGirl during his nap. The Real Me relaxes when he sees them all sleeping peacefully on what used to be a sofa. *
I'm afraid that we've had a rather exiting time, fighting an edritch horror from the Purple Dimension. Uh, well that's it over THERE. Her, I should say. She's a female... whatever she is.
* The Real Me points at a huge purple mass, sprouting dozens of tentacles and eye stalks (the one being difficult to distinguish from the other). There is also a large fanged mouth somewhat lower in the body than one might expect. *
Technically we didn't really fight her. We escaped her. But then ThatWeirdGirl and Ebonezer made a deal with her so that we could import ice cream from her dimension and...
Well, it's complicated.
Also, I should say that this is only the LATEST Treehouse thread. I can give you that history sometime later. But for now, make yourself comfortable! Have a seat on...
* The Real Me looks about for any intact furniture. *
Uh, have a seat on this spot of floor. It looks stable enough, and has hardly any monster gore or hydraulic fluids spilled on it.
* The Real Me sits nearby, and realizes that he is still carrying Sparky's head. He displays it for Wiccanslyr. It is made of metal and plastic, and seems to have been deformed by great pressure. *
Uh, this is... was... a robot of my invention, the Mechana-cabana-boy 3000. We called him Sparky.
* The Real Me stares at Sparky's remaining eye, and absently tries to get the jaw joint to stop binding. *
Yes, indeed! Monty Python and the Holy Grail was a great show!
* The Real Me's face brightens. *
Would you like some ice cream?
The Real Me
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* With the Inola Teg eldritch horror situation well in hand (thanks to ThatWeirdGirl and Ebonezer), The Real Me comes to consider the problems of reconstruction. The Treehouse, and especially its contents, suffered severe damage do to the battle and to Teggy’s subsequent playful antics. *
* The Real Me ducks as the Whack-a-Fox-Executive game goes flying past his head to crash through the north wall. A moment later, it can be heard to smash into the ground below. Behind The Real Me, Teggy gurgles happily. *
Uh, Ebonezer? Can you ask our guest when she thinks she might be going home? Perhaps we can give her a jar of M&Ms and send her off for more ice cream.
* The Real Me wanders amongst the wreckage in the Treehouse common room. With a smile of satisfaction, he locates the toppled Effigy of Ebo, crafted by revelers during the holidays. After some lifting, pulling, and tugging, he gets it into an upright position. *
* The Real Me takes a closer look at the Effigy of Ebo. He circles around it to see it from all angles. *
Hmmmm… It’s like its eyes always follow me.
* The Real Me glances down at PsychicRiver’s crude graffiti and frowns. *
Ah, I see that the New Year’s celebration must have involved substantial amounts of alcohol!
* The plural nature of the graffiti convinces The Real Me that someone is in desperate need of anatomy lessons. That, or else enough alcohol was involved that the artist was seeing double. *
Oh, well, might as well get on with this.
* The Real Me pulls a handy scrap of parchment from a pocket and places into the Effigy’s mouth. Then he gets a magic marker, uncaps it, and carefully inscribes a handful of Hebrew characters on the forehead of the Effigy. With some satisfaction, The Real Me replaces the marker’s cap. *
There! That should do it! Hello? Are you awake?
* The Ebo Golem opens its eyes. *
Oh, hi. Could you please tidy up the place a bit? Thanks.
* The Ebo Golem nods and gets to work. The Real Me turns to the others in the Treehouse. *
I’m afraid that it will be quite a while before I have Sparky back in working order. I still need to see what’s left of my laboratory. In the meantime, the Ebo Golem can help out. Don’t worry about the Ebo Golem. It’s safe. Since it is based on Ebo’s form, we can count on it being as sweet and kind and gentle as Ebo herself!
The Real Me
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SimonWho? You are a doctor. Perhaps you can help.
* The Real Me takes SimonWho to a rather dopey-looking PsychicRiver, who is lying on the remnants of a sofa, drooling. *
See, just before ThatWeirdGirl climbed up the ladder to deal with Teggy, PsychicRiver talked about linking minds with her. I believe that this condition is the result.
Thankfully, ThatWeirdGirl usually keeps her powers of confusion restrained, but when she really turned them loose, I suffered some rather strong effects even though I was not her intended target.
Now, if PsychicRiver was actually linked to ThatWeridGirl’s mind while this was going on…
Well, see if there is anything you can do.
The Real Me leaves PsychicRiver in SimonWho's capable hands and departs to see if power is still being supplied by the butterfly-shaped solar collectors buzzing around the top of the tree.
The Real Me
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Will PR be okay? I forgot that he was trying to link up. Oh golly, all that Samantha Fox, Micky Mouse Club, Dark Matter theories, and Pink Floyd sing alongs must have tweaked PR pretty bad. I might have gone too far praising the cullinary skills of the frycook at Village Inn.
*twiddles thumbs nervously*
Simon, you have to fix PR. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt...
*kneels next to PR and lovingly strokes his hand*
IT, can you take me to your dimension? I have an idea that could help.
*InolaTeg wobbles her tentacles around and a rip begins to form. As it widens TWG and IT step thru, the tear closing behind them.
www.thatweirdgirl.com
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*PR stirs in his un-consciousness... and rolls over...
although he is breathing...he shows no signs of waking up soon...without help...*
Bluddy Britney Spears and fookin Christina Aguilera! 
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue." 
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"
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Okay, I'm just going to test your reflexes.
*ow!*
Right, you managed to grab my arm before I even hit your knee with the gavel. I don't think reflex tests were devised with psychics in mind.
The best thing we could do is get the monster as far away as possible so it doesn't interfere with PR's mind, such as it is, any more. Perhaps it might like to return to its own dimension?
Oh, and TRM, I see you've created a mindless, lumbering creature called ebo. Did we really need another one? 
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"Because it's wrong..."
*PsychicRiver...still in slumber...bursts out laughing crazily, and stops...and moans...*
Ow....
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"
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* The Real Me returns to SimonWho and PsychicRiver, lugging about a bucketful of Sparky that he has been collecting. He sets it down. *
Whew!
Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
The best thing we could do is get the monster as far away as possible so it doesn't interfere with PR's mind, such as it is, any more. Perhaps it might like to return to its own dimension?
Oh, so you think that the problem is the psychic disturbance caused by Teggy? That it wasn't due to being in ThatWeirdGirl's mind when things got... weird? Say, where are ThatWeirdGirl and Teggy, anyway?
Quote:
Oh, and TRM, I see you've created a mindless, lumbering creature called ebo. Did we really need another one?
Oh, most certainly. While the Ebo Golem may lack some of the charm of the original, it is stupendously stronger, and more amenable to tasks of drudgery. Until I can get Sparky rebuilt, I'm afraid that the Ebo Golem is the best I can do.
Well, aside from doing the drudge work myself.
Now seriously, where are ThatWeirdGirl and Teggy?
Oh, and did PsychicRiver say something?
PsychicRiver? Psssst! Are you awake?
The Real Me
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not really ignoring you.)
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