The NEW Faster Loading Treehouse
POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Saturday, January 15, 2005 20:09
VIEWED: 26954
PAGE 14 of 21
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Oh, right! About the ice cream! I almost forgot to mention it. It's a very special brand, you see. It always tastes like whatever your favorite flavor happens to be.
The Real Me
you sneaky smart genius man! You have completely contented women laying all around you!
www.thatweirdgirl.com
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Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
you sneaky smart genius man! You have completely contented women laying all around you!
www.thatweirdgirl.com
* The Real Me smiles and shrugs. To his robot, he whispers: *
Sparky, mark off Lifetime Goal #6 for me, please. This is close enough.
The Real Me
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Hmm, this is odd. This ice cream tastes for me almost, but not entirely unlike tea. Its sensors might be on the blink.
I must admit I do find the words "The Real Me" slightly disconcerting in the Joss universe. On the one hand, it is the man who has been held over the edge of a volcano, Mal tortured for hours driven to the point of madness. On the other hand, it is a 14 year old girl, complaining in her diary that nobody understands her.
Still nice that our TRM escaped from that nasty other dimension. Why are there always creatures there with tentacles?
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Ooh, thank you TRM!
*PR goes up to TRM, and looks him straight in the eye.* Your a very brave man, I sense no fear from you.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM! 
*PsychichRiver puts some fudge-slavoured ice cream (with real fudge pieces in it!) into a bowl and sits on the floor and begins to eat. PR is chewing happily, then he suddenly stops. Staring straight at the floor, not even blinking. All is quiet, and PR continues to stare.*
EVERYBODY, GET UNDER THE POOL TABLE! - NOW!
*Everyone looks at PR, with confused expressions on their faces. PR hears murmurs of 'What?' and nobody seems to be moving.
NOW! UNDER, NOW!
*PR drops his ice scream and scrambles to his feet, runs to the other side of the room, and scrambles up Sparky and then crawls under the pool table, to take cover, holding onto Sparky. Now others are taking cover under the pool table, and more are quckly joining them.*
Annabelle! *PR shouts to his cat, who is sitting on the window-sill, looking outside*
Annabelle, come here. *Annabelle looks around at PR, the cat miaows, and jumps off the window sill and runs over to PR and nestles in his lap.*
HOLD TIGHT, EVERYONE.
*The treehouse begins to shake.*
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue." 
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"
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Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
I must admit I do find the words "The Real Me" slightly disconcerting in the Joss universe. On the one hand, it is the man who has been held over the edge of a volcano, Mal tortured for hours driven to the point of madness. On the other hand, it is a 14 year old girl, complaining in her diary that nobody understands her.
There is more than one reason that I picked "The Real Me" as my alias. Those that you bring up apply (aside from the gender difference).
Quote:
Still nice that our TRM escaped from that nasty other dimension. Why are there always creatures there with tentacles?
Uh, well, in this particular case, it is because THEY were the ones who made this ice cream.
The Real Me
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)
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Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:
Ooh, thank you TRM!
Why, you are welcome. Did I mention that it has no calories?
Quote:
*PR goes up to TRM, and looks him straight in the eye.* Your a very brave man, I sense no fear from you.
Oh, I assure you, there is fear aplenty! It so happens that fear can be a great motivator. And how can one be brave if he does not fear? The secret is to never surrender to it. Perhaps that is what you sense.
Quote:
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!
* The Real Me has a bad feeling about this. *
Quote:
EVERYBODY, GET UNDER THE POOL TABLE! - NOW!
*Everyone looks at PR, with confused expressions on their faces. PR hears murmurs of 'What?' and nobody seems to be moving.
NOW! UNDER, NOW!
* Having seen enough episodes of Firefly, The Real Me grabs Ebo and ThatWeirdGirl and dives immediately under the pool table with them. Ice cream flies everywhere. *
As I said, a great motivator! Psychic River! What is going to happen?
Quote:
*PR drops his ice scream and scrambles to his feet, runs to the other side of the room, and scrambles up Sparky and then crawls under the pool table, to take cover, holding onto Sparky. Now others are taking cover under the pool table, and more are quckly joining them.*
Annabelle! *PR shouts to his cat, who is sitting on the window-sill, looking outside*
Annabelle, come here. *Annabelle looks around at PR, the cat miaows, and jumps off the window sill and runs over to PR and nestles in his lap.*
HOLD TIGHT, EVERYONE.
*The treehouse begins to shake.*
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"
Not to worry! We can evacutate!
* The Real Me begins to open a dimensional portal. *
The Real Me
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)
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*The treehouse continues to shake, knocking furniture all over the place, until a huge flash of ligth appears in the middle of the room, and an inter-dimensional crack splits down the room, opening a portal, and then purple tentacles slither in, and a uge purple beast that reaches from the floor to the ceiling lands slap-bang in the middle of the treehouse, crushing many pieces of furniture.*
TRM, get us a portal that will relocate us outside the treehouse, now. Everybody go!
*The beastly thing roars, and squiggles.*
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"
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* The Real Me is dazed, lying prone under the pool table with the others while the Treehouse is shaking and hell is literally breaking loose around them. The escape portal that The Real Me started to open evaporated when his concentration was broken by the rather impressive entrance of the tentacled monster. *
* The Real Me wonders how this monster (which he knows to be literally a Purple People Eater) could possibly have followed him from the Purple Dimension. Not only would it need powers similar to his own, but it would also require a token originating in this dimension, something that could be used to home in on the Treehouse. Something like… *
* The Real Me notices that one of the monster’s many tentacles is clutching his own lost left shoe. *
DAMMIT! I got careless!
*The beastly thing roars, and squiggles.*
* Psychic River yells: *
“TRM, get us a portal that will relocate us outside the treehouse, now. Everybody go!”
* As The Real Me scrambles to his feet, he slaps the floor between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl. A spot of light appears there, and starts to grow in size. *
* At that moment, a pair of tentacles reach for ThatWeirdGirl and Ebo, but Sparky (obeying the First Law) leaps up in time to protect them. The tentacles wrap around the robot, squeeze tightly, and pull. Sparky is torn apart in a shower of metal, plastic, and... sparks. *
Poor Sparky!
* Another tentacle reaches for PsychicRiver, but The Real Me waves a hand to create a hole in reality to shield him. The tentacle reaching for PsychicRiver disappears into the hole. The Real Me makes a fist, closing that portal and slicing off the end of that tentacle. A flood of purple blood and gore gushes out of the stump all over PsychicRiver. The monster howls in pain. *
* By this time, the spot of light between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl has grown to encompass everyone under the pool table. They all fall into the void, except for The Real Me, who has moved away. *
I’ll join you presently!
* Everyone else finds themselves dropping roughly into Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree. *
The Real Me
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*Ebo looks around all dazed like. Feeling kind of sad over lack of treehouse and ice cream she starts to dive under her pool table to hide, but soon realizes that its still in the treehouse.*
Awww crap.
*Suddenly there is a crash from above and the pool table soars out of the window and lands, crockedly, a few feet away on the grass. A tub of ice cream lands neatly on top.*
Jubulation!
-----------------------------------
Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.
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*ouch*
Ok, I seem to have landed halfway across the bar. Just let me slide down...
There, slightly better. Okay, I think we should take a vote: All those in favour of banning teleportation from dark dimensions directly into the treehouse say "Aye".
Also, how are we going to reclaim our treehouse? And is this purple people eater something that is purple or does it just eat purple people because that would be racist and wrong.
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