Answer to new Firefly Fans

POSTED BY: Atilla
UPDATED: Sunday, November 21, 2004 10:37
VIEWED: 10968
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DARKJESTER

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 3:39 AM

TenthCrewMember wrote:

Quote:
Single-line, fictional response as to why Firefly was cancelled...

"In response to why we, at FOX, cancel quality programming, we can only point out that if people watched only good TV, there would be millions of dollars wasted on all the programming they didn't watch, so if we prevent good TV from perpetuating, we can keep thousands of poor actors, carpenters, caterers, set workers, executive secretarties, etcetera, gainfully employed and the audiences will eventually find that 'good TV' is just that TV which is less bad, such as the reality TV, thereby allowing us to continue to put millions of dollars into programming, that isn't worth the film it is printed on, thus preventing an economic backslide, caused by the failure of the television entertainment industry, which would inevitably lead to the downfall of mankind as people desperately try to fill the void of television with random violence, self-mutilation, and geese juggling, none of which has any social merit in the advancement of our species, hereby proving that, we at FOX, are simply trying to preserve humanity at our own expense." -- Public Relations Memo, FOX Headquarters for Product Development and Termination

Additionally, there was no character named 'Julia', which means the show was double-plus ungood!
-- Public Relations Memo, FOX Headquarters for Product Development and Termination, addendum

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

MOOSE

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 3:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Professor:
OK, the real question is how did Firefly get cancelled after 1/2 season but "The Simple Life" is starting season 3.

Please tell me that's a joke....

Gorram FOX!!!!

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 4:27 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Moose:
Quote:
Originally posted by Professor:
OK, the real question is how did Firefly get cancelled after 1/2 season but "The Simple Life" is starting season 3.

Please tell me that's a joke....

Nope. It is real. Suffice to say, truth is always stranger than fiction, especially where the

at F*X are comcerned.

Cilantro!
TCM

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BRUISERSMOM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 4:48 AM

Because Sean Maher didn't take his shirt off early enough!

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 5:28 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Stillshiny:
Book - "Back to hell you vile demon!!" (takes Vera from Jayne and makes a bloody spectacle of the gungan)

Now that I would pay to see.

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

STIZO

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 5:38 AM

*stands up*

Ahem.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury,
I, the prosecution, am here to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant, the Fox Broadcasting Company, did in fact cancel the television series "Firefly" because they knew I enjoyed watching it.

I offer to you six, concrete pieces of evidence that prove this malicious and evil plot put in effect by them to deprive me of any quality television shows to watch:

Exhibit A: The television series “Titus”. I enjoyed the dysfunctional and demented brand of humor displayed in this show, and subsequently it was canceled much too soon after three seasons.

Exhibit B: The series “Dark Angel”. Once again, I did enjoy this show, and it was again, canceled by the defendant after only two seasons. However, the prosecution is willing to admit that after the “lameness” of the second season, it deserved it. Though it is believed that said “lameness” was the result of the defendant’s tampering with the show.

Exhibit C: The series in question. It was greatly enjoyed, and ranked as one of the all time favorites by the prosecution. Thus following their evil plot, it was canceled after only eleven episodes. Thus, according to the rules of baseball, three strikes, and I’m apparently “out”.

Exhibit D: Reality Shows. These are not enjoyed in any form by the prosecution, and are viewed as the lowest form of entertainment possible. Once again, proof that the defendant is hell-bent on removing quality television from existence. The prosecution requests that from now on the defendant refers to itself as Annoying Reality Show Entertainment, or “ARSE”.

Exhibits E & F: The shows: “The Simple Life” and “Trading Spouses”. Once again, an insult to all humanity and life as we know it.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I implore you, are these not the actions of a corporation whose sole purpose is to destroy quality television?

The prosecution rests your Honor.

*sits down*

(Okay, I know that doesn't qualify as single sentence, or being fictional, but it was clean, and I found it highly entertaining and I hope it gives a few of you a smile or two. If not, I apologize for the length of the post.)

----------------------------------------------
Conquering the galaxy with terrifying space monkeys, one ship at a time...

ALUCARD

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 5:44 AM

Because fox doesn't like good ratings.

CYBERSNARK

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 3:52 PM

JOSS: Why'd you go and cancel my show?

FOX EXEC: We didn't like it is why. Thought it was, what's the word. . .

TIM: Pretentious?

*Joss glares*

EXEC: Yeah, that's it, pretentious. It thought it was better then other shows.

JOSS: Just the shows it's better than.

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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

MYNAMEISJONAS

Sunday, November 21, 2004 10:37 AM

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