Haribo gummi candy reviews

POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Sunday, June 25, 2017 03:48
VIEWED: 3810
PAGE 1 of 1

SIGNYM

Sunday, June 4, 2017 12:04 AM

They were howlers. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Sorry to be such a tease, but I'll have to post the links later, busy right now, but I wanted to put up a thread as a reminder.

Or, if you want to see for yourself, google that, plus oxyclean.

==============

http://rottenpanda.com/sugarless-haribo-gummy-bear-reviews-on-amazon-a
re-the-most-hilarious-things-ive-ever-read/

1KIKI

Sunday, June 4, 2017 2:56 AM

1. From a review titled: "Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate."

"Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks."

2. From a review titled: "Be sure to buy Oxyclean too!"

"Be sure to also buy a tub of Oxyclean with this to get the blood and diarrhea stains out of your underwear, clothes, furniture, pets, loved ones, ceiling fans."

3. From a review titled: "Yup - Believe the hype!"

"I saw the product reviews and told some coworkers, so we bought a bag (because who doesn't want to spend the workday on the toilet AND get paid, right??). Brought them in yesterday morning and a bunch of the guys immediately downed a handful each. Within half an hour they were in the bathroom. Best moment of the day was when one of them (who had been in the bathroom for half an hour by that point) texted one of the others. 'If you think it's a fart....it's NOT.' hahhaaaaaa"

4. From a review titled: "It's. All. True."

"OMG. Everything previously written is true. It's all true. Don't eat more than 15 in a sitting unless you are trying to power wash your intestines."

5. From a review titled: "Fully weaponized Gummy Bears"

"The cramping started about an hour late

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Sunday, June 4, 2017 3:47 AM

I don't recall those effects. Is this some special version or variety of Haribu? Or a knock-off?
Haribu is the original producer of the product. The first-ever American Haribu plant will start production in Wisconsin (location selected because of a long-time friendship/partnership Haribu has.)

I do recall gummi bears from Welch's flavored White Grape which were highly addictive - the vending machine grew to 4 slots of them, and still couldn't keep in stock. Could never find this favor in stores, only vending.

The other really good flavor, not sure which company made it, was organic gummi flavor cranberry. Very addictive.

1KIKI

Sunday, June 4, 2017 4:22 AM

It was the sugar free version.

Lycasin is a maltitol syrup with properties of taste and sweetness ideal for the preparation of sugar-free syrups, lozenges or jellies, according to manufacturer Roquette.com. Little known to most gummy bear connoisseurs, however, the side effects of Lycasin are gas, bloating and diarrhea.Sep 24, 2013

Sadly, Haribo no longer makes the product. Sadly, because, I admit, after reviews like that, I'm really curious.

Originally posted by G: "I coined the slogan "We Suck!"© many years ago." G is an avowed Putin-loving, pro-Russian, anti-American troll.
You have a very treasonous view of how justice in the US should work, THUGGER. In fact, you have many other treasonous views as well. You hate the election process and want to void it, you really dislike freedom of speech and want to lock people up who pract

SIGNYM

Sunday, June 4, 2017 4:33 AM

Someone I know (who shall remain anonymous) ate a whole box of sugar-free cookies sweetened with xylitol. He experienced such a massive flux of fluid from his bloodstream into his intestines that the resulting loss of blood volume mimicked a heart attack.

As for me ... well, they say inulin is good for our gut bacteria.

HA!!

Apparently, it's good for bad bacteria as well as good ones. 1/4 teaspoon of inulin had me in the bathroom for a hour.

And finally, in other sweetener & bathroom-related chemistry .... sucralose (Splenda) is considered a persistent organic chemical. Not only can't PEOPLE not metabolize sucralose, apparently neither can bacteria. Once you pee it out, it's in the environment like... forever. It's a good tracer chemical for sewer-water, even recycled water.

-----------

"Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor"- William Blake
THUGR, JONESING FOR WWIII
All those guns 1kiki, are pointed towards your beloved Russia. All those cyber capabilities, pointed right at Russia. Thanks Putin, and get ready to duck.
I'll accept your apology any time, THUGR. But I know you're not man enough to give me one

1KIKI

Sunday, June 4, 2017 4:50 AM

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .... orgaaaaaaaaaaaaaanic ...........

http://www.blackforestusa.com/products/

Originally posted by G: "I coined the slogan "We Suck!"© many years ago." G is an avowed Putin-loving, pro-Russian, anti-American troll.
You have a very treasonous view of how justice in the US should work, THUGGER. In fact, you have many other treasonous views as well. You hate the election process and want to void it.

WISHIMAY

Sunday, June 4, 2017 8:50 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1kiki:

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

Uninterestingly enough, that's EXACTLY what happens to me when I eat sulfites, including gummi or marshmallow ANYTHING. To dry gelatin, they use quite a bit of it...I accidently ate some sulfites yesterday (missed vinegar on the label) and spent three hours trying to catch my breath, and then my foot swelled in the cast so much it turned slightly blue.

Fuck this planet. Royal hell if ever there was one.

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2017 5:35 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1kiki:
It was the sugar free version.

Lycasin is a maltitol syrup with properties of taste and sweetness ideal for the preparation of sugar-free syrups, lozenges or jellies, according to manufacturer Roquette.com. Little known to most gummy bear connoisseurs, however, the side effects of Lycasin are gas, bloating and diarrhea.Sep 24, 2013

Sadly, Haribo no longer makes the product. Sadly, because, I admit, after reviews like that, I'm really curious.

Well that clarifies a lot.
Remember when snacks put in Olea or some such, and the Doritos ads had to disclaim that it causes "anal leakage" plus other stuff?

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2017 5:42 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
And finally, in other sweetener & bathroom-related chemistry .... sucralose (Splenda) is considered a persistent organic chemical. Not only can't PEOPLE not metabolize sucralose, apparently neither can bacteria. Once you pee it out, it's in the environment like... forever. It's a good tracer chemical for sewer-water, even recycled water.

Sucralose is a poison, engineered, designed, and proven to kill living things. The chemical company which manufactures this pesticide claims that it is just like sugar. ALL trichlorinates are pesticides.
Check your labels - it is infused into vegetables, fruit, ice cream, milk, sodas (Diet Mountain Dew), beer, wine, "energy" drinks, headache medicine (it causes headaches), other medicines, snacks and candies, to mention a few.

6STRINGJOKER

Tuesday, June 6, 2017 10:51 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
Uninterestingly enough, that's EXACTLY what happens to me when I eat sulfites, including gummi or marshmallow ANYTHING. To dry gelatin, they use quite a bit of it...I accidently ate some sulfites yesterday (missed vinegar on the label) and spent three hours trying to catch my breath, and then my foot swelled in the cast so much it turned slightly blue.

Fuck this planet. Royal hell if ever there was one.

I can barely even eat anything sweet anymore. I don't get allergic reactions to it, but I just don't care for it aside from a very rare snickers bar or small bowl of ice cream. Marshmallows or cotton candy or anything like that though makes me sick just thinking about it. The crap we put in our bodies when we're kids, right?

THGRRI

Tuesday, June 6, 2017 9:15 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
Quote:
Originally posted by G:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
This is why I do not go anywhere near artificial sweetners of any kind.

I'll stick to real sugar.

Same here - honey is a wonderful, natural sweetener. Chemicals aren't natural!

==============================

Never been much on honey but then I've never really had a sweet tooth. My problem is I have a blood sugar disorder and it is not diabetes. Other end of the scale, my blood sugar tends to be low, so I have to have the real thing in my diet to a limit.

Good for you Brenda. You have a license to eat candy. I think I'll have some pudding now.

AURAPTOR

Wednesday, June 7, 2017 2:20 AM

I always thought those Haribo ads w/the kids dressed up as adults were weird. Like when they're in some board room, discussing product impact and such... just weird.

Never heard of Haribo growing up either. So naturally, I am distrustful of the name.

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Friday, June 9, 2017 6:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
Six about the only "candy" I eat is chocolate and it has to be dark. Never was fond of milk chocolate as I found and find it too sweet.

I found that the population around Hershey, PA seems to universally dislike dark chocolate - and most have never tried it. They seem to only like milk chocolate, but I had assumed chocolate lovers would like all chocolate. I didn't figure it out until after my last visit.

6STRINGJOKER

Friday, June 9, 2017 9:05 AM

I couldn't stand dark chocolate when I was a kid, but it's the only chocolate I'll eat on occasion now. Same thing with McDonalds burgers.. I wouldn't eat any real hamburgers when I was a kid either. Now I can't stand eating anything at McDonalds.

I think it has something to do with all that Saturday Morning Cartoon programming. Probably saw an ad for Hershey's, McDonalds and Milk every half hour.

Strangely enough though, I still love milk to this day and drink at least a gallon a week. I did switch to skim milk about 20 years ago though and never looked back.

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Friday, June 23, 2017 6:29 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6stringJoker:
I think it has something to do with all that Saturday Morning Cartoon programming. Probably saw an ad for Hershey's, every half hour.

That is unlikely. Hershey was famous for never advertising. Maybe they do ads now, not sure, but they never used to.

I also like white chocolate.

Wait....
McDonald's sells hamburgers? When did this happen? Didn't they only make soy stuff?

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Friday, June 23, 2017 6:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
I always thought those Haribo ads w/the kids dressed up as adults were weird. Like when they're in some board room, discussing product impact and such... just weird.

Never heard of Haribo growing up either. So naturally, I am distrustful of the name.

I think the ads are of adults, but gummi bears bring out the inner kid in everybody. Now I saw some with hockey players.

AURAPTOR

Friday, June 23, 2017 5:59 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by JEWELSTAITEFAN:
Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
I always thought those Haribo ads w/the kids dressed up as adults were weird. Like when they're in some board room, discussing product impact and such... just weird.

Never heard of Haribo growing up either. So naturally, I am distrustful of the name.

I think the ads are of adults, but gummi bears bring out the inner kid in everybody. Now I saw some with hockey players.

I've seen different ads. First I saw, were kids , dressed up in adult business attire. Later, I saw another, where adults are in some meeting room, but they're speaking w/ kid - inner child - voices. It's just weird. I " get " what they're trying to do, but as I said, because ' Habribo ', and not Nestle', or Hershey or some other more familiar brand... I reject it.

* ETA: So, Haribo is German. HQ'd in Bonn, Germany. ( I've been there! ) They originated the first Gummybears, so I guess that's their claim to fame ?

Still... not a fan. Gummies or not.

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Sunday, June 25, 2017 3:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
Quote:
Originally posted by JEWELSTAITEFAN:
Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
I always thought those Haribo ads w/the kids dressed up as adults were weird. Like when they're in some board room, discussing product impact and such... just weird.

Never heard of Haribo growing up either. So naturally, I am distrustful of the name.

I think the ads are of adults, but gummi bears bring out the inner kid in everybody. Now I saw some with hockey players.

I've seen different ads. First I saw, were kids , dressed up in adult business attire. Later, I saw another, where adults are in some meeting room, but they're speaking w/ kid - inner child - voices. It's just weird. I " get " what they're trying to do, but as I said, because ' Habribo ', and not Nestle', or Hershey or some other more familiar brand... I reject it.

* ETA: So, Haribo is German. HQ'd in Bonn, Germany. ( I've been there! ) They originated the first Gummybears, so I guess that's their claim to fame ?

Still... not a fan. Gummies or not.

Source of fame? More like source of gobs of cashflow.
Yes, from Germany. Their new WI Plant will be the first in the Americas.