If I'd been in charge of Star Wars. . .
POSTED BY: Cybersnark
UPDATED: Sunday, December 27, 2015 10:23
VIEWED: 6860
PAGE 1 of 2
Just a warning, I'm not trying to pad my post count or anything, I'm just breaking this gargantuan beast into three slightly easier-to-manage pieces (so you'll know where to stop reading when I bore you, or to start again when I get near a point).
This massive beast is a quasi-fanfic project I've been working on since Revenge of the Sith came out and made me ill. Round that time, I lurked through the RotS threads around here, and found everything worth saying already said. I had a few observations and opinions of Lucas' filmmaking (being generous with the term) style, but the threads were already getting so huge it didn't seem worth adding my two credits.
Then I came across another of Zoid's posts, which started me thinking on how things might have been improved. It started out with minor touches to the first two, but then blossommed out of control into this complete rewrite for Ep. III.
When it comes right down to it, I actually don't have that much of a problem with the overall plot of the first two (I think Sith has the weakest plot, but that's more a matter of Lucas leaving most of the prequels' plot until the last movie, then having to cram it all into 2h-and-change). It's only the details that bug me.
First, of course, is the writing. After getting the script done, Lucas should've done what everyone in Hollywood does; get Beta-readers. There's a reason why multiple script rewrites are SOP in Hollywood. By its very nature, film is a collaborative medium; what reaches the screen is a synthesis of the writer's ideas, the director's ideas, the actor's interpretations, etc. This, OTOH, was pure, unadulterated George "I! Me! Mine!" Lucas. Hell, Lucas wouldn't even be famous if not for the original trilogy being revised by people like Lawrence Kasdan.
Of course, being me, I'd have asked Joss, or Robert Hewitt Wolfe, or Ashley Miller, or Tim Minear to do a quick pass, but I'm sure there're hundreds of writers in Hollywood who'd've loved a chance to get their names attached to Star Wars. Hell, Timothy Zahn has earned it several times over, what with his novels reviving the franchise, jump-starting the EU, and creating some of the most-loved characters in the franchise (Mara Jade! Thrawn! Talon Karrde! Garm Bel-Iblis! Pellaeon!) --and the "Hand of Thrawn" duology proved he can take other peoples' plot threads and run with them (none of this "I'm gonna completely retcon a character 'cause I want to go in a different direction"). Hell, the guy created Coruscant, arguably the most significant planet in the franchise. Most importantly, Lucas should've focussed on someone who can write characters.
[aside]
I believe that there are two main kinds of writers; those who write primarily for plot, and those who write primarily for characters. Of course, some people (Joss, RHW, and others) can do both proficiently, but for the most part people tend to one or the other. Understand, of course, that this isn't a matter of one being better, it's just a matter of two different ways of doing things.
Myself, I write for characters (and often have the devil's own time coming up with things for them to do). Lucas, it appears, writes for plot (and fills his plots with cardboard cutouts with no real motivation or depth).
[/aside]
Especially after Lucas has admitted that he doesn't write good dialogue. Yet he doesn't seem to care about this weakness --implying that we (the moviegoing public in general and his fans in particular) simply aren't worth the effort it would take to produce a better movie.
I would also have used CGI sparingly (backgrounds, space shots, things that are physically impossible [walking/fighting Yoda, Jar Jar, Grievous' leet saber skillz], etc), and used as many on-set effects as possible (full sets, actual armour for the clonetroopers [instead of having them dressed in blue suits], animatronics for Yoda and non-moving Grievous, and possibly even Jar Jar). See, I like my actors to be able to add subtle and improvis
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Pt. 2: the Prequel Outlines
The Phantom Menace
Well, I'd've kept Jar Jar, but I feel Jar Jar's character was deeply flawed. I would've played him seriously; a devoted pacifist. A Ghandi-like figure who refused to flee from the approaching droid armies (and was unwittingly rescued by Qui-Gon). He would've been the one to intercede with the Otoh Gunga Council and convince them to aid the Jedi. I also would've toned down the accent and voice a bit (instead, make him a gifted rhetoricist).
Maybe there'd even be a mention via Nute or Rune that they were looking for Jar Jar, as per Sidious' orders (he's a potential disruptor). When they report that he's met up with the Jedi, they're surprised that Sidious doesn't seem upset (all part of his plan. . .).
And the route from Otoh Gunga to Theed is not "through the planet's core." That's stupid. At most it's on the other side of a continent, reachable by tunnels through said continent.
Anakin wouldn't be immaculately conceived, though Shmi would admit to Qui-Gon that she honestly doesn't know who the father is (her life was. . . unpleasant. And complicated). DNA tests would be inconclusive; whoever the father was, he's not on file in the Jedi Archives. I'll even dare to keep the midichlorians, but I'd explain them as a side-effect of Force-sensitivity, not a cause --implying that powerful Force-users with no midichlorians are possible, but very rare.
I wouldn't have had Anakin create Threepio (which flies in the face of some of the better EU material), but would've had Threepio and Artoo already an established team, both working for Queen Amidala (as interpreter and mechanic, respectively). Instead, he works exclusively with podracers, though he likes droids better than he likes "real" people (they're polite to him --R2 [who can only be understood by 3P0 and Anakin --even the Jedi can't speak binary] points out that most droids don't have a choice, and young Anakin admits that that doesn't matter. They're still more polite).
Oh, and in the backgrounds of the crowd scenes: no Quarren or Mon Calamari, because their first contact with aliens is supposed to be the Empire. Again, this is an EU detail that I've always been inspired by: the Empire encountered the Mon Cal/Quarren homeworld, and found a peaceful race of artists and farmers. To the Empire, of course, "peaceful" means "weak." The Empire occupied Mon Calamari, imposing their "protection" on the populace in return for resources and slave labour. The Mon Cals & Quarren took all the "protection" they could stomach, then started organizing peaceful public gatherings, politely requesting changes in working conditions. The Empire responded by bombing the three largest cities on the planet, causing over seven million civilian casualties. This was a mistake. The Mon Cals had nothing more than farm tools, cooking utensils, and artistic implements, but in days, not a single Imperial was left alive on or around the planet. 
They became the first world to declare open Rebellion, and threw their full support behind the Alliance. Then Lucas put a Quarren into the crowd at Mos Espa, during the height of the Republic, neatly forcing Mon Cal's First Contact into impossibility. I know what Lucas would say, but you can't tell me that a random background squid-head is part of some grand Artistic Vision(tm).
Attack of the Clones
First change here would've been to add more subtlety to the Anakin/Amidala romance --more flirting, and less open declarations of True Love.
I also would've included Luminara Unduli and her Padawan Bariss Offee as characters, to play up the Obi-Wan/Luminara sparkage from The Approaching Storm (again, an EU novel) --it'd be a contrast to Anakin/Amidala's illicit hormone-fest to see how two full Jedi handle a relationship. It'd also highlight some of the problems with the Jedi Order (as Anakin says; they are encouraged to love, but forbidden from forming attachments. Too bad "attachments" tend to happen when you least want them to).
Sw
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Pt. 3: Conclusion and Rationale
For those wondering why I rewrote most of RotS (aside from the fact that I just didn't like it), it's because of Lucas' main failure in his script, the one that proves he has no idea what makes the OT work, and even manages to retroactively ruin the three good SW movies (leaving the Ewok movies as the filmic high point of the franchise 
).
See, the original movies draw all of their emotional force from three revelations, each of which has to hit the audience like a giant spear through the chest (to paraphrase a certain other movie). To wit:
(1) Darth Vader was Obi-Wan's apprentice, and is responsible for the death of Luke's father.
(2) Vader is Luke's father.
(3) Leia is Luke's sister.
There's a reason why That Scene in ESB is one of the most famous scenes in all of film-making, and it isn't the acting or effects. Vader's revelation has to both come completely out of left-field, and yet be utterly obvious in hindsight.
Lucas' original script spells out that Anakin Skywalker is now Darth Vader, and that he has two children, Luke, and Leia (Organa). You can't watch all 6 movies chronologically, or the originals will degenerate into a showcase of bad acting and merely half-decent writing.
We know who Darth Vader is the instant he walks onscreen, and we now have to work to recall that he doesn't know who Leia is. His revelation in ESB is an anticlimax, and Luke's epiphany about Leia is worse; the audience has wandered off to get more popcorn, or watch reruns of Fastlane, or something.
All I really did was hide some stuff and throw in red herrings. Now, Vader is a mystery:
-He could be Mace (big, deep-voiced, uses a Dark Side lightsaber style, suffered an "accident," named by Palpatine as a potential apprentice).
-Maybe it's Halmere, with his skulking around the Temple, sending younglings to their doom.
-No, he's Vialco (Obi-Wan's apprentice, responsible [indirectly, but responsible nonetheless] for Anakin's death, red lightsaber, black armour).
-Meanwhile, the EU reader (who has seen Halmere & Vialco alive and well post-ANH) is chuckling; confident that it's actually Quinlan Vos, who spent the entire prequel trilogy off-camera, wavering on the edge between Dark and Light.
Only in hindsight do we realize that we never actually saw Anakin's death.
As for the Rebellion sub-plot. . . Well, I'd heard that there's gonna be a live-action Star Wars series (apparently, it'll be called Clone Wars, likely retreading territory that the cartoon already did far better). Frankly, I think Star Wars: Rebellion would be a far better direction to go.
It'd chronicle the efforts of the burgeoning Rebel movement, up through the Corellian Treaty (that turns the scattered resistance pockets into the Rebel Alliance, under a centralized command --and causes Bel-Iblis to pull up stakes and move out on his own), through the frantic early battles and the Empire's rise to monolithic power. It'd star Commander Cody, heading up a small strike force (sort of Star Wars does SG-1, with Firefly's haphazard whatever-gear-we-can-scrounge aesthetic). Also, Republic clonetroopers had access to the latest state-of-the-art equipment and training. Now he's suddenly reduced to third-hand scavenged junk. The stormtroopers would be badass, the Rebels would be desperate (and frequently dead), and fallout from the Clone Wars would have everyone on edge. The former Republic clonetrooper now has to work side-by-side with the same (former) Separatists he was created to fight. (Remember those Geonosian bodyguards who escaped Mustafar? They'd be destined to be the first fully-CGI characters in an ongoing live-action show [something I've wanted to see for years].) And they're not too fond of him either. Throw in a few random criminals, drifters, and malcontents (the backbone of any successful terrorist organization) with no real military training between them, and maybe even a fugitive Jedi Padawan who saw her master k
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I'm a plannin' to see read this in full. Given half a chance.
People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy. - Joss
" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "
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I'm bumping this because you put a lot of thought into it, and it sounds like you know what you're talking about (because I got a little confused with all the names, but it's okay).
---
http://richlabonte.net/tvvote
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Cybersnark:
Skimmed it, it's a lot to get through 
.
Seems well worked out, and your episode synopsis, for me, would have produced far better films that Lucas could. The prequels make me think that maybe he was just lucky with Star Wars, rather than talented.
Anyway, I'd also have Anakin as a fair bit older (assuming I didn't miss the part where you said this, if so disregard), very nice way of getting the under fives to want their parents to spend money on merchandising, giving them a hero and all, but it's BS. I can't accept a toddler flying a pod racer, let alone bringing down an entire invasion force in a fighter.
I mean what mother lets her young son fly in dangerous races, nor would she say "it's time for to go off on your own". He's 8 for 
sake, it's not time for him to go off on his own. I mean is this Woman running for the worst mother in the universe award or something?
Besides all backstory I've seen puts the ages of Obi Wan and Anakin MUCH closer together.
I wouldn't keep midichlorians, I just don't see the point of them, besides if they're a side effect of the force wouldn't everyone have them? The force is in all things, but only some individuals can feel it and control it.
Anyway just some thoughts.
More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cybersnark:
Most importantly, Lucas should've focussed on someone who can write characters.
[aside]
I believe that there are two main kinds of writers; those who write primarily for plot, and those who write primarily for characters.
in fact Lucas had huge help with the original three movies (I just hate the whole number thing...but of course I mean #4,5 &6)
from Lawrence Kasden (who is not great at plots, but really does wonderful characters and truly great dialog) without him Princess Leia would have been the same 2 dimensional ninny Padme was...
I guess it was some kind of misplaced pride that made Lucas go it alone for his lame-ass prequels.
Personally he managed to kill the saga for me.
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Your films would of been better! My only major change to your ideas would be to simplify it a little, particually RoS, there's ALOT of different characters that while they would work in a book, would be a struggle for a film.
Here's how it might of been.... www.stillflying.net/
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Gorramit! I want to see your version of things!!
It even fixes that annoying little thing about Leia's memories of her "real mother" who died when she was very young (as mentioned in RoT). Most of the people I know didn't even notice that bit but it annoyed the ever loving crap out of me!
There were a few parts that seemed a little far out for me but it was definately better than the version Lucas filmed. And my doubts might just center around the fact that I'm not all that familiar with the EU. I've played a few games and I've read maybe 1 book. Must remedy that.
And oh yes, Thank you sooooo much for giving Jar Jar a point! You do have a fine mind for characters. In my opinion, our dear friend George is far too excited by the pretty pretty lights of CGI. He lets the pretty pictures distract him from making a good film.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Op: You're fighting a war you've already lost.
Mal: Yeah, well I'm known for that.
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Jar Jar Binks has been the scourge of the Star Wars universe derided as The Most Annoying Character Ever.
But fans can rest easy – Star Wars producer Kathleen Kennedy has revealed he definitely will not be in the new film The Force Awakens.
Kennedy told a news conference: ‘Jar Jar is definitely not in the movie.’
Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2015/12/07/good-news-star-wars-fans-jar-jar-binks-w
ont-be-in-the-force-awakens-5549228/#ixzz3uor9q44X
http://metro.co.uk/2015/12/07/good-news-star-wars-fans-jar-jar-binks-w
ont-be-in-the-force-awakens-5549228/
http://www.tor.com/2011/07/22/i-find-your-lack-of-relevance-disturbing
-is-star-wars-a-joke-now/
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