The crew of Serenity (with the exception of Jayne, who had yet to make his way back through the snow on St.Albans) sat round the dining room table; expect Zoe who stood to one side, her hand on her weapon. The two former members of the IID sat at the far end. There was silence, while everybody waited for somebody to speak. The crew of Serenity waiting for their captain to take the lead. Eventually Mal said,
“So, why don’t you tell me what you’re plan is for rescuing these former browncoats you claim are still being incrassated by the Alliance. I thought the Alliance released everybody ‘cept those in charge, or those like you self who where of significant value.”
“You are right Captain Reynolds. After the war the Alliance realised that it would close to impossible to imprison all those who had fought in the war, so they granted a general armistice to everyone expect, ‘those with significant intelligence value’ was the official phrase used, I believe.”
It was Lieutenant Kalip who had spoken. Ursula was her first name, Mal thought, and despite the presence of a senior officer, she was the one who had done all the talking. In fact the only thing that Colonel Arron Chung had said was a badly whispered insult about Serenity, when he had steeped on board. This had attracted a murderous stare from Kaylee, but she had seen Mal’s silent look of “This is not the time Kaylee.”
“However, it is not those people we wish to rescue,” Ursula continued, “But those left behind.”
“Really, those left behind,” Mal told her, “Heard similar sentiments before. Those of us in Serenity Valley for instance. We were left behind after the fighting now, weren’t we.” Mal knew that it was a cheap shot, but didn’t care.
The two spies only gave away the briefest of signs of annoyance across their faces. “Captain, what happened at Serenity Valley was inexcusable; it wasn’t by choice for many that you and your men were left there for so long.”
“You’ll excuse me if I don’t take your words to heart, Lieutenant.”
“I’m sure you won’t Ser
Don't forget to leave comments! I can only get better if you tell me what's wrong with my stories.
A few issues, but no biggies: Watch for dropped words. Every once in a while you forget the last word in your sentence. Also, I'm not sure if you mean "incrassated" or "incarcerated" when referring to the prisoners - unless it's a "technical" Browncoat term, which could be fun. But overall, I really like this and I'm eager to see where it goes.
Alot of the dialogue is the result of spending (too much) time reading the scripts and watching the shows to find the voices. Hopefully (and thats a BIG hope) I can get close to Joss and the othe Firefly writers.
I certainly can't wait for the angsty stuff you're cooking up for Wash and Zoe when they''re reunited....gonna be fun if Wash has started something with Jalina:S
BEB
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