Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

Motivation Series 24: Hurt

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A brief, rather angsty songfic inspired by Johnny Cash's "Hurt." Simon doubts himself, Kaylee reassures him. Next fic in my series, probably not even PG-13. Contains a bit of subtle foreshadowing for upcoming stories...

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3745    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Author's note: It's been a bad couple of days for me in real life. I had some angst to work out, and this is one of the results.

_______________________

It was just a minor cut. He reassured Kaylee of that, but she still insisted on helping. She pulled him over to the sink and shoved his finger under the water, while reaching into the cupboard above the sink for the first aid kit he kept there.

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

The cut on his finger stung like hell when the water hit it. He stared at it, watching blood seep out where the knife had slipped and caught his skin as he'd helped Kaylee prepare dinner. Ribbons of red mixed with the water as she rinsed the cut, then turned off the water. He kept focusing on it, silent as she pulled his hand out of the spray from the faucet and dried it with a clean dish rag.

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything

His focus changed to Kaylee, watching her prepare a small weave, just like he'd showed her. After covering the cut, she pressed her lips to it, and he managed a small smile. The pain was fading, and he almost regretted it. It had been a long time since he'd felt pain. Kaylee was grinning at him, and he felt love wash over him, tainted with guilt.

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away

In the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

Nothing she said or did could really make him believe he deserved her. He loved her deeply, but that wasn't enough to make him worthy of her in his own eyes. He'd loved others before her, in different ways, and failed every one of them.

I wear this crown of thorns

Upon my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Their faces passed through his mind. His parents, his friends. He'd disappointed all of them when he disappeared with River. No matter h

Comments
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 18 April 2006 16:26
*hugs*

(It's Fia, I just can't be arsed to sign in.)
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 18 April 2006 16:33
awwwww, so I guess this means you're venturing into the long story you mentioned soon huh?
~misskitten
Tuesday, 18 April 2006 20:10
That was sweet, and thats a great song, made better by this fic. Very good, if I do say so myself (which I do).
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 18 April 2006 20:39
It's not Johnny Cash's "Hurt"; he covered the Nine Inch Nails song.
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 18 April 2006 22:11
I was just about to say that. Although Trent has said that it is now Johnny's song since he saw the video for it. He was in awe. Originally done by NIN though because of Trent's heroin addiction.

Good story though. I like it.
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 00:28
Yeah, NIN did the song first. But whose music do you think is more likely to be remembered fifty years from now?

I'd go with the Man in Black, personally...*shrugs*
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 00:37
aww that was really good, but sad like and now i gotta go write my happy fic!
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 02:09
Well, people who actually have decent taste in music will like both Johnny Cash and NIN. They'll both be remembered 50 years from now. Granted, Johnny will be remembered by a much larger audience of people though.
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 03:45
Totally in character....Simon can't help but doubt himself. But I love how Kaylee sees his misery without hesitation when he lies....can't miss how he gets when in a funk;)

BEB
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 04:11
Nice fic. Very sweet. I hope this quickly leads to the much anticipated follow up to Anniversery, Secret, Announcement, etc. I cannot wait to see how you get Simon & Kaylee married and how they react to learning that they are already expecting! Looking forward to all the porn and hilarity to ensue.
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 04:59
If it makes a difference I had a shiney day... Got an internship and a research project...
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 05:14
Aww, very well done
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 16:57
>>"Promise me you'll remember that, even if I do something stupid or let you down or hurt you-"

"I promise."<<

See, I'm used to stories where it's Simon comforting Kaylee about stuff, not this way around. I like that change of pace. I love the way it's written. I can't say I've ever heard the song, but the lyrics fit.

Great job!

~Jules~
Sunday, 23 April 2006 00:45
""Don't do that." She said sharply. "Don't even think about tellin' me nothing's wrong when I can see something is."

Simon looked down. "I'm sorry, baobei.""

I know I've already said ahttp://www...and *cries* could also sum it up so - *AWWCries*

Heeee...
Friday, 28 April 2006 02:57
very nice... ah foreshadowing, the literary device to die for...
Friday, 28 April 2006 02:59
Well like i said in the chat earlier. Damn good work blonde.
Friday, 28 April 2006 03:00
Oh WOW !!!!
Friday, 28 April 2006 03:09
I love the song, and the possibilities for where this story can go (toward that betrayed lover, for example).
Wednesday, 03 May 2006 04:07
oh, it's all so sad *sniff* like he'll never be happy again.

I like it, you know it's good when i moves you

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