Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

Look at Me

Monday, April 17, 2006

Drabbles written for prompt: look at me
One inference to sex (or a good foot massage.) Very sappy - tooth decay even. M/I Cross-posted to mal_inara

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3494    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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“Look at me!” he shouted.

“Mal, please!” she snapped, so close to slapping him that she had to hold her arm rigid.

“Please what, darlin'?”

Please stop making this harder than it has to be. Please see that this will never work. Please don't let me go.

*~*

“Look at me,” he whispered.

“Mal, please,” she whimpered, so close to the edge of ecstasy that she didn’t know where she ended and he began.

“Please what, darlin'?”

Please go faster. Please slow down. Please don’t ever stop.

*~*

“Look at me,” he urged.

“Mal, please,” she gasped, so close to panic, so frightened at giving up everything that she’d worked for all her life that she couldn’t begin to fathom the choice she'd just made.

“Please what, darlin'?”

Please help me make this work. Please keep holding me. Please don’t ever die on me.

*~*

“Look at me,” he soothed.

“Mal, please,” she sniffed, so close to being overcome with joy that she could only grasp his hand and weep tears of happiness while she smiled at the small, squirming bundles they placed on her chest.

“Please what, darlin'?”

Please tell me they have all their fingers and toes. Please tell me they have your eyes. Please don’t stop reminding me that you were right all along, that everything we'd need to be happy we'd have - right here on Serenity.

Comments
ANONYMOUS
Monday, 17 April 2006 15:27
oh wow, this is simply beautiful. It completely captures the complicated, messy relationship that is Mal/Inara. I love the linear quality of the four drabbles too. gorgeous!

~kaynara
Monday, 17 April 2006 18:14
my goodness....please...please what?....please write more like this - what fun!

Caper
ANONYMOUS
Monday, 17 April 2006 19:14
Read this on live journal and loved it there too. It just works really well... I know that's not a particularly literary comment but I can't really explain why I like this. Maybe because it's gloriously understated. Four short drabbles, deceptively simple.

Also, I'm a Mal/Inara shipper... that probably helps!
ANONYMOUS
Monday, 17 April 2006 19:15
Ooops that's me... Taya, above, (stupid computer logged me off)
Monday, 17 April 2006 19:59
Stayed with me from Live Journal.

Don't comment often... No time!

Captured characters well....(Mal living moment to moment and Inara on Pause)

Always a pleasure to read "creative drabble" amoung the narratives
Tuesday, 18 April 2006 00:06
Short, sweet and quite good with looking at the various aspects of Mal & Inara's relationship if it is allowed to flourish in certain ways. And it's amazing how simple emphasis and emotion can change how something is interpreted drastically;)

BEB
Tuesday, 18 April 2006 19:41
So if I write out the formula for this would anyone like to add one? Cause I think it would make a great snapshot Round Robin and I would love to see what you guys would write. As long as it doesn't make me cry. I hate to cry!



Tuesday, 18 April 2006 19:43
Oh, and thank you all for the warm words about the drabble. Feedback is so shiny.
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 00:53
Yes, quite teeth rotting. But I never listened to the dentists anyway. ;)

Very nice!

Morwen
Wednesday, 19 April 2006 19:02
I just keep re-reading this one. I really like the structure and the sweetness. Thanks!
Thursday, 20 April 2006 05:31
I like the structure too. It's like a mad lib. Very fun to write. Feel free to add one.
Wednesday, 28 June 2006 17:00
i hear dentures aren't SO bad...

b

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