Learning to be Patient- Chapter 6
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
After being attacked by Reavers, Kaylee goes through a recovery period. Though a shocking surprise and a visit from some unwanted guests may put a kink in her plans. Simon/Kaylee, Mal/Inara, Jayne/River. And Zoë.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 2632 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
Author’s note: Here’s the chapter that took me so long to write. I wrote it, and rewrote it better, then started over, then grammatically corrected it and there’s still spelling errors. So sorry for that. This chapter was very action packed, and the next chapter’s going to be very long so I apologize of it doesn’t go up within a few days.
Also thank you to everyone who commented, you’re all so kind with your words and it’s greatly appreciated (I always say it AND mean it).
Disclaimer: I do not own any on the character and/or events which Firefly/Serenity consists of. I’m merely borrowing the characters for non-profitable fun. So the deal is, when I start making money off of this, you can start to sue.
Learning to be Patient
Chapter 6
Panic
“Very last one,” Jayne grunted as he placed the large gun on the dinner table to the left of him. He let out a yawn as he leaned back in the chair, stretching his arms. “That didn’t take long.”
“Five hours and thirty-seven minutes,” River mumbled, she sat on the opposite side of the table from Jayne. Her face was hidden in her arms which were crossed over the table. “It’s almost one in the morning,” she enlightened as she lifted her head up, showing half-opened eyes.
“Ya didn’t have ta wait with me,” he informed as he stood from the table and began gathering up his guns.
“It’s going to be busy tomorrow,” she stated while attempting to hold back a yawn. “The Captain is going to set course, which is going to take a while to fly.” She yawned again and used her fingers to wipe at the sleep that had invaded her eyes.
“Ya look like you’re gonna fall asleep right there Girl,” he had a sly smile across his face as he put down his guns, “Ya need a ride ta your bunk.”
“Someone could see,” she murmured, her chin placed back on her forearm.
“You’re a reader,” he reminded her as he approached her and slid his strong arms under her scrawny legs, “If anyone’s coming, you’ll be able ta tell.”
“If I’m tired,” she sunk again his chest; her head fe
Gonna sound rude but I WANT SOME MORE! Please? It's like crack....;)
BEB
Was River's combat training in fact taping some kind of genetic memory on insinct-level reflex bank, that is similarly tapped by Reavers and their "adoptees?"
Despite their savagery, the Reavers are intelligent, they can fly, and maintain their ships. But do the Reavers understand the role of the Pax in their creation. If so do they carry a stock of substance to swell their numbers?
I must say first off that I am very impressed with your story especially considering your age.
I found the reaver attack and the "trap" set to be very believable; I was at first uncertain about Kaylee being alone when Simon found her , but it made more sense when the Reaver attacked Mal, SImon and Kaylee on their return to the ship. I am also enjoying playful River; I think you are doing an especially good job with her and Inara.
I do have a couple of constructive comments; know that I only write them because I cared a lot about your story! If I didn't think there was something important there, I wouldn't mention these things:
I had a little trouble with Kaylee's state of mind when she woke in Chapter Five. Honestly, the terror she felt in Chapter 6, not knowing where she was - really fits better with Kaylee's awakening than what you wrote in Ch 5. ALso, physically, I don't think she could have been climbing ladders and walking around to greet the crew. She had serious wounds requiring stitches, possible fractures and sexual trauma. Simon would not have allowed her to get up even if she wanted to.
More on her state of mind:
I'm assuming that Kaylee was sexually assaulted by the Reavers, even though you don't state that explicitly. I do n't know if you wanted to leave it vague or if you were going to deal with it in a later chapter.
I DO think the crew would know that this happened. You might read some websites about Rape Trauma Syndrome to get some guidance on how Kaylee might behave after that kind of trauma.
Also, Jayne and Mal's reactions -anger- when Kaylee went wild in the cargo bay did not seem true to their characters. They both adore Kaylee; never in a million years would Jayne threated her, particularly when she was recovering from such a brutal attack. They might not understand what she was going through, but that would be sadness and frustration - a loved one who doesn't know how to help - not violent reactions.
ANyway- great story! PLease take the comments for what they're worth.
Tresta
(too lazy to sign in)
b
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