Rating: PG-13

Characters: Jayne and Inara, brief Mal

Disclaimer: Capn' Tightpants and his crew belong to the great and powerful Joss.

Word count: 1308

“What are you doing in here? Don’t…just stop. Don’t touch anything. Why are you here, again?”

Truth be told, he was looking for a bandage. Had a gorram accident cleaning his knife. Doc came in just as he opened a drawer with a bunch of ‘feel goods’ in it. He looked him square in the eye as he shut the drawer, ready with a darn good comeback when River came in all flowy and stuff sayin somethin about the statue is still and the flowers are blooming again. Boy, would he like to know what meds she was on…

“Later Doc.”

He left the infirmary and headed back to the kitchen where his most favored, well, his only possessions were laid out on the table. It was late and everyone had just about headed to their bunks. Jayne sat at the table and got back to polishing his knife and Vera. After Simon had left the infirmary, he went to his new home, Kaylee’s bunk. Those two were at it constantly; it made him angry. How’s a pompous ass like the doc gettin more tasty than him? He’d been on this ship close to a year now and had only gotten a few whores here and there planetside. Zoë had the pilot, River was just a kid and Shepherd didn’t even have sex, as ridiculous as it sounded. Mal…well, the man worried too much to even think about it. Serenity was his woman. And Inara, well… she was a whore. She got more ‘n enough. It wasn’t fair, plain and simple.

He was mumbling to himself so intently that he barely heard Inara come into the kitchen. She was wearing one of her signature lounging gowns made of gold and maroon fabric. It clung to her figure, outlining every curve. A dark shawl with gold fringe hung around her shoulders and dark curls were loose about her face with blushing red lips. The man had to take notice.

“Don’t mind me, I’m just here for some tea.”

“Whatever. Hey, ‘nara…why ain’t ya gonna tell me none of them funny sexy wh