Wash sat in his bunk trying hard not to think about last night but without much success. It was all that filled his head.

He knew that he’d be needed soon at the helm but didn’t want to go. He needed to be alone. To let it all sink in. Mostly he needed time too just control his emotions.

“What have I done?” he whispered to no one.

It was a question he could answer but still couldn’t comprehend. And it didn’t really matter. The aftermath was important now, not the action.

It was over.

In a single night he’d killed what had been between them. In a moment. And now that it was gone he wanted it more.

Love had surprised him like that. Wash never expected it to be so consuming. So intense that some days he couldn’t think straight, he just needed to be near her.

Sure they had had problems. Every couple has problems but their temperaments, although radically different were complimentary. They got mad but never for long. Most of their problems stemmed from a single source.

Trust.

He could admit he had trust issues. Who doesn’t? All things considering, he thought he was pretty good about trusting people.

He trusted Mal when he said they could pull off a mission. He trusted Kaylee would always find the problem with the engines and fix it. He trusted Inara would never give any details what-so-ever about any of her rendezvous’. He trusted Jayne would always hit his mark.

And until tonight he had trusted that Zoë loved him as much as he loved her.

And now…

Now what?

He was beginning to understand that you can’t really have love unless you have trust. And with her he was beginning to feel he didn’t have either.

Maybe it was for the best; the two of them together had never been an easy thing for anyone involved.

He hadn’t considered that an ‘us’ would include so many people.

Zoë and him wasn’t just about Zoë and him, it seemed to be about everyone.

It had been rough. Mal had been mad as hell, and although he hadn’t said anything about it, mostly be