Verdict - Chapter Seven
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Is Inara really out taking on clients? Will Mal be able to focus on the job? What time of year is it? Will the two of them ever work things out? Will this chapter any of those questions? Post-BDM. M/I.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3075 RATING: 8.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Title : Verdict – Chapter Seven
Author : Goldy
Pairing : Mal/Inara
Disclaimer : Not mine. No suing. Blah, blah, blah.
Summary : Is Inara really out taking on clients? Will Mal be able to focus on the job? What time of year is it? Will the two of them ever work things out?
Spoilers : Series. BDM.
Rating : PG13
Word Count : 3, 196
A/N : I think I’ve edited and gone over this chapter more than I have any other chapter of anything I’ve ever written in my life. There’s a lot of dialogue in here, too much dialogue—which ended up being the problem. Anyway, if things are terribly clunky and make no sense, I’ll, uh… be in my bunk.
*****
Focus was the first rule in being out on the job. Things tended to go wrong with more frequency than Mal liked. Without focus, it was too easy to end up on the wrong end of their gun.
With the crew gathered in the cargo bay and Jayne getting the loot together, Mal pulled Zoe off to the side and kept his voice lowered.
“We got a problem.”
Impatient, Zoe fiddled with her gun holster. “And what’s that?”
Mal glanced around. He rubbed at a spot on his chin and couldn’t quite meet her eyes. “I’m… uh… a mite distracted.”
“And why’s that, Sir?”
“Fought with Inara earlier.” Mal paused. “I might have been a bit hasty, said some things I didn’t mean.”
Zoe gave him a flat stare, clearly waiting for him to make his point.
Mal sighed. “I told her to go take on some clients.”
Zoe regarded him silently. Finally, voice exasperated, she said, “You told her to—”
“Don’t make me repeat it.”
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Zoe said, “She ain’t out taking on clients.”
“Her shuttle left ten minutes ago.”
If possible, Zoe looked even more exasperated. “Sir, she ain’t out taking on clients.”
“That…” he narrowed his eyes. “How do you know?”
“Even Inara’s got no way to make appointments that quickly. Not to mention, last time she ventured out alone, she got captured by Niska. Mak
Poor Mal, no U-Day brawl!...
Loved this section:
“Well,” Mal said. “Inara’s out looking to take up her companioning again, Jayne’s plotting to overthrow me, we barely got enough money for fuel, and, oh, yeah, it’s my very favourite day o’ the year. This is just about the right time for things to go and get worse, what do you think?”
Zoe played with her shot glass. “Wash and I were planning on havin’ a baby.”
Mal knocked back another drink. “Yep. There it is.”
Great stuff....
Can't wait for more! The morning after!!!!
“Uh… any chance we could—”
“We ain’t pretending we supported the Alliance, Sir.”
“You gonna help me undress every night?”
“Maybe in your fantasies.”
ok, so i think i love you. can you write every story on this site? please?
~kaynara
It doesn't matter how much dialogue you have if it's well scripted, and this is!
Good chapter,
Taya
Congrats! You are now on the list of five people who have managed that. *cough* Anyways . . .great story. You're great at dialogue and painting the picture of what's goin' on.
You can't take the sky from me
once again with the words..perfect.
He needs a bigger bed...
MORE PLEASE!
~SCE
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.