Blue Sun Room FICTION - HORROR

Simon Says: Chapter I

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Is Simon a caring brother who gave up everything to rescue his sister from a torture camp or just a crazy kidnapper? An AU seen through a different POV.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2951    RATING: 8.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Simon Says

Is Simon a caring brother who gave up everything to rescue his sister from a torture camp or just a crazy kidnapper? An AU seen through a different POV.

Usual disclaimer: This is my first Firefly fanfic, constructive critism always appreciated. Unadulterated praise is even more appreciated. My apolgies for any grammatical mistakes but I'm not a writer by profession and I couldn't spell correctly without a spell checker to save my life.

Oh yeah, and Firefly and all it's characters belong to Joss Whedon.

Chapter I: Whitefalls

River screamed. It was so bright in the room. She groggily crawled out of the box, out of the dark into the light. Her mind was all muddled, where was she and who are all these people? She tried looking around but her head just kept spinning. And then she saw... him.

"Simon...?", she whispered recognizing him. He spoke to her in low tones,

"They're gone... they're gone. We're safe now. We're safe. we're safe, I'm here," Simon slowly approached her and drew her shaking body close to him. But she only continued to shake in fear. She had to to tell them, she had to warn them. That Simon was completely out of his gorram mind. But before she could take another breath she felt the all too familiar sting of a hypospray piercing her from her back. Simon quickly palmed the small hypo into his sleeve as he held her. River tried to keep her thoughts focused as the drugs once again flooded her system. The last thing she remembered at that point was someone asking, "What the hell is this?" and Simon answering, "This is my sister.." and she saw him flash his small secret smile of his to her before things starting fading to black. The very same smile he had when he locked her in the box.

* * * * *

Malcom Reynolds was in a world of trouble. His latest passenger was apparently a wanted fugitive who broke his sister out of a covert goverment program in a cryo box. Then there was the matter of an Alliance officer who was chasin

Comments
Wednesday, 18 January 2006 05:14
Yikes. You made Simon all manner of creepy.

I like it.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 18 January 2006 06:02
He he he . . . .more more! I LOVE creepy Simon. He's such a twit anyway.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 18 January 2006 09:06
Spooky!! Yes, please continue!!
Wednesday, 18 January 2006 16:29
You have me interested. Some of the sentence structure felt a bit weird, so you may want to get yourself a beta reader.
Wednesday, 18 January 2006 18:01
Very interesting and is it that I feel worried for River? Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
LINX
Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:07
I like your idea and concept for this, but I highly encourage you to start forming new stories. While it was neat to see this from a different POV, it was a little too like the episode. Go all out with your idea to make Simon creepy and don't hold back on the imagination. I'd love to see where you take this! Nice job. :)
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 19 January 2006 00:02
Yea, it sounds an awful lot like the original dialogue, owned and most likely by whoever.
Friday, 20 January 2006 20:01
Thanks for the encouragment guys and constructive feedback.
I'm realizing that writing fanfic is a lot tougher than I ever thought.
As many of you have correctly noticed I've used a lot of the original dialogue. This was on purpose because I wanted to setup the same scenarios but from a different point of view. The same things were happening but could be interpretted in a significantly different way, to me that's very frightening, a little too close to home. Ok I'm babbling now.
Wednesday, 25 January 2006 18:04
and suddenly i'd rather the monkey operated on me...

b
Monday, 13 February 2006 20:44
Good writing and very well done from a different point of view and how easily it can be turned around, but In my opinion i'm a little bit pissed. Simon is my favourite characters and the thought of you making him some deranged lunatic pisses me off. But it's interesting so I may keep reading.
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 06 May 2006 11:25
fgsdrfsef

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