Disclaimer – Everything either does belong to Joss or it should. I’m just borrowing his shiny ‘verse for a while.

The 21st Lancers belong to the British Army so I’m borrowing them too. I hope they don’t mind

* * *

Transport Ship Serenity – En-Route to Wilkes Moon – 2520AD

Mal looked around the group. This was a serious matter and one that needed to be resolved immediately.

‘I think you all know why I asked you here’ he said ‘It’s becoming a problem and one that I am going to put an end to right now’

Mal stood up and put his hands behind his back.

‘The wolf thing ends right now. I don’t want to hear any more growling, howling or snarling on my ship from this moment on’

‘Nooooooooooo’ howled Wash and everyone went into hysterics. They’d been desperately trying to hold it in until then.

Mal smashed his fist on the table ‘It’s been a whole week’ he said exasperated ‘Can’t you all find something else to do’

Inara was by far the most collected individual in the group although the expression on her face was less than straight ‘I’m sorry Mal but it’s just become far too amusing. To be honest it’s your reaction to it that feeds the pack as much as anything’

Mal cast his eyes downwards ‘And could everybody stop speaking in gorram wolf metaphors. We are not a pack’ Mal pointed out with a pained look. ‘Next person I hear says that goes out the airlock’

‘In space no one can hear you growl’ River stated ‘no air to carry the sound’ she explained. Simon put his fist in his mouth to try and stop himself laughing again.

Mal turned to Steven ‘You’re an educated man. Can’t you see how childish this is? Can’t you please follow my lead here’

The Academic looked up at him and thought for a second ‘If there’s a lead involved is it time for walkies?’ he asked deadpan.

Mal grimaced ‘Wuh de tyen! I swear that every single one of you is dāì ruò mù jī’

‘Can we go now?’ Zoe asked. She was so conflicted, she felt strange not backing up Mal but it was funny as hel