Virtual Firefly episode 1x16 (teaser)
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
"The Big Stick" (teaser): This is the first episode of the Virtual Firefly project. Look for our web site in early 2006.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4569 RATING: 8.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
INT. TOWN HALL – COUNCIL CHAMBERS – DAY
The Town Hall has been converted into a makeshift church. SHEPHERD BOOK, at a podium, finishes his sermon to a crowd of fifty or so TOWNSFOLK.
BOOK: …When you give to someone, don’t tell your left hand what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in secret, and your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you. Word of the Lord. Amen.
In the front pew is the LORD GOVERNOR, dressed in his Sunday finest, surrounded by the UPPER CLASS. The pews behind him are filled with PEASANTS and those less fortunate.
BOOK (cont’d): And now let us consider our Lord’s words as we sing the next hymn, and take a collection for those less fortunate than ourselves.
The collection plate is passed as the people SING “What a friend we have in Jesus” accompanied by an OUT-OF-TUNE PIANO.
The plate passes to the Lord Governor and he drops in a single coin with some disdain. The rich folk sing reserved, while the poor sing with smiles.
INT. SERENITY – CARGO HOLD – DAY
Music, a CLASSICAL WALTZ, comes from the future equivalent of a PHONOGRAPH. SIMON and KAYLEE dance, just a little too awkwardly, since he’s apparently teaching her the steps.
RIVER is nearby, mimicking them, dancing with an invisible partner.
SIMON: No, wait, your—
KAYLEE: That was your foot, wasn’t it?
Simon nods and the two of them laugh and lean into each other. Kaylee begins to apologize, but the CARGO DOOR opens and in rushes MAL and JAYNE, followed by ZOE.
They’re out of breath, lugging large canvas bags. Mal and Jayne are clearly in good spirits, and Zoe is watching their back.
The dancing stops, but the music continues.
KAYLEE: How’d it go, Cap’n?
Mal shucks his bags and heads to Simon, claps him on the shoulder.
MAL: Your plan worked perfect.
SIMON (uncomfortable): It wasn’t a plan, Captain. It was a joke.
JAYNE: Still, Doc… If I didn’t know better, I’d think you was some sorta criminal genius rather’n dandified pretty-boy.
WASH comes in, down the STAIRS from t
You can't take the sky from me
I think you could do with having Kaylee and Simon interacting for a little longer before Mal turns up. Two lines doesn't really do a nice idea any justice. Follow up is note perfect except for two things. I read everything without reading who was saying it to make sure everyone was in character and it's all great except for Jayne's "Still Doc...", it reads like Mal's saying it, take out the "Still Doc..." and it reads as Jayne. Other thing was Jayne and River dancing. While a funny idea, the last real interaction they had was "also I can kill you with my brain." I don't think Jayne would be at all comfortable with that situation. Would have been just as funny and more in character to have River offer to dance and then Jayne being entirely terrified by her (and the idea).
I know it's only a teaser but you've managed to change my opinion of this project from harsh skeptisicm to cautious optimism.
As such, I'm off to read Act 1!
I'm not the author, but I would respectfully diagree and say that two lines is about perfect. Simon can manage not to ingest his heel for only so long.
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Gwek: Love the teaser! The about-face from Mal regarding the mission immediately after seeing Inara was perfect Reynoldism.
If anyone would prefer to have the pdfs, shoot me a message at gwek@optonline.net (I promise, the pdfs look prettier!)
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