A/N: Kinda short, but I couldn't resist the idea of moving the plot and having River give Mal a Wet Willie.

*****

"Jayne?"

"Mal?"

"What'ya doin' huggin' me like this, Jayne?"

"Was gonna ask ya the same 'bout your hand on my leg."

"We should move."

"Yeah."

Silence.

"You first, Jayne."

"Can't really move, Cap. Head hurts."

"Huh. Me, too. Go back to sleep and pretend it ain't happenin'?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

**

"Simon! There's too many forks on the table!" Kaylee knew her "princess" charade would end eventually. She'd been in familiar territory while out in the stores; fancy or not, shopping was a trait inborn to her, and she was able to smell a bargain from a mile away. But she was wholly unprepared for this. The restaraunt Simon brought her to had presented a place setting holding three different cups, two plates, and a wide variety of utesils. This was too much for Kaylee, seeing as her usual dish setup consisted of chopsticks and a chipped enamel plate. There was no way she could fake knowing what she was doing.

"You'll be fine. Start at the outside and work your way in. Use a different utensil for each course."

"That's too confusin'!"

"OK." Simon thought a moment. "Think of each course like a slightly different engine. Each engine needs the proper catalyzer - or utensil - to make it go. The parts are all laid out for you, all you have to do is install them in order."

"What the hell?" Kaylee's laughter overrode her panic. "You been drinkin'?"

Simon's feelings actually seemed hurt. "No. Just trying a mechanical analogy." He pouted a bit as he pulled back her chair, but cheered up when she gave him a playful whap on the shoulder once she was seated.

"I 'preciate the effort, though. Keep tryin', Dr. Tam, an' ya may sweet talk me yet."

"Indeed. I wouldn't want your interest in me to be based entirely on my dashing looks." Simon struck an exaggerated "man of action" pose.

"'Course not. But they don't hurt none."

Simon went ar