A/N: Sorry for all you folks looking for NC-17. No porn yet. I was considering just having Kaylee sex Simon up good, but I just can't see him going for it without his head exploding. And since I totally went AU shortly after "Objects in Space", I'm gonna do it my way.

So instead, we get angst (which I am not usually good at, so hang on)! Besides, both of our intrepid heroes have some personal issues to work out regarding their relationship, and it gives me a chance to wax poetic. So I broke this whole thing up into a currently-unspecified number of parts.

It also gives me more room to work. Per someone's request, I can't leave unconscious Mal and Jayne alone. Now that River's fixed up her brother, whatever shall she do with them? Lipstick? Arrange them in suggestive poses? Suggestions welcome.

P.S. I know Simon seems much more coherent than usual. I figure that once you've got the girl naked and on top of you, propriety has long since left, so you can speak your mind without fear.

*******

"Kaylee. Stop." Simon put his hands on her shoulders - good lord, but her skin was soft....nope, can't think about that right now - and pushed her back up. "We should talk about this."

Kaylee pouted. "Why? You're a doctor, I'm pretty sure you know where everything goes." She crossed her arms and looked sour. He was going to do it again. Why couldn't he just shut his gorram mouth?

"Well, yes, but...." Simon stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts.

'Yep', Kaylee fumed in her head, 'here it comes. Open your mouth wider, Simon, ya gotta fit both feet in there.'

"I guess I didn't consider our relationship starting out this way."

Wait. What? Kaylee softened instantly. He wasn't totally panicking and throwing her out. He seemed to be speaking coherently. And did he say "relationship?" He was certainly thinking ahead - not that she minded, and since he brought it up first....well, maybe she should play along and let him surprise her. "So...you assumin' we have a relatio