Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss. I am merely an object in his space!

Rating Warning: PG for naughty language.

Everyone writing Christmas fics seems to think that Mal would be grumpy and grinchly about it. But what if it wasn't Mal everyone thought didn't get the Spirit?

"Christmas With Jayne"

Jayne was kicked back on the couch, his booted feet up on the little round table as he went over Zoe's body armor plate by plate with the soldering gun and pliers. That woman was harder on body armor than anybody Jayne had ever met. Then, she wore it more and got it into more spots where it was necessary than anybody Jayne had ever met.

Across from him, in the kitchen, Kaylee and River were singing as they stirred things, and measured things and mixed things. Book sat at the dining table, bible open before him, seemingly undisturbed by the caroling and carousing in the kitchen.

His eyes tiring from the minute repair work, Jayne got up and went to refill his coffee cup, passing Mal as he came down the steps.

"What's all the ruckus in here?" Mal was pretending to be offended but Kaylee and River could see the twinkle in his eye and the smile on his face.

"Just makin' some candy. Thought we could use a treat tonight." Kaylee answered.

Mal settled into his chair. "Nice thought. Maybe you could do it a bit quieter?"

"TEN LORDS ALEAPIN'!!!" River sang loudly, dumping a cup of sugar into a bowl and beating it madly.

Book smiled as Mal shook his head indulgently. In a surprised tone, he said, "I didn't think this would be your sort of Holiday, Captain. If you don't mine my sayin."

"I don't think Christmas is all about that." And Mal gestured to the Bible. "Traditions we call Christmas came from things older and wilder than in that book of yours."

Book nodded sagely.

Jayne leaned over the counter and watched Kaylee dropping brown droplets of goo onto an oiled platter. "Looks like shit."

"JAYNE!" Kaylee said offendedly, but she never stopped smiling.

"Well, it does." He sai