Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Dong Ma?

Friday, January 31, 2003

Mal listens, Jayne glares, and Simon understands. PG-13 just to be safe.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4357    RATING: 8.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Disclaimer: Joss is God and I ain’t.

Feedback: Be nice… aw hell, be vicious. It’s my maiden voyage into Firefly fanficdom; I actually started another one first but this one’s shorter so logically it got done faster. Anyway, it’s the one y’all get first.

Dong Ma?

Mal hears everything she does. It’s muffled, hollow-sounding as it carries through the bulkhead separating his room from Kaylee’s, but he can still hear.

He doesn’t like to eavesdrop too much, so he doesn’t linger after he rises. Her voice disappears as he moves away from the bed.

It’s his only way of checking on her without being pushy.

At night he faces the wall, as if he can see her on the other side. Most nights everything on her end is fine; soft sleep-mumbles and rustling of the sheets. She hums to herself if she’s just had a nightmare. Sometimes she cries.

Kaylee cried as they broke atmo of her home planet. She watched the rear video screen up in the bridge, and Mal almost asked himself if he was right to bring her along. He would find that he was. Wash turned in his pilot’s chair and smiled at her, and his loud shirt and silly-looking mustache made her smile back.

She was homesick at first. She spent a damn lot of time in the engine room that first day, as if she was expected to sleep there. When Mal came in to check on her late that night, she looked up from the turbine and wiped her eyes sheepishly. Looked away.

“Autopilot,” she said.

It was all unidentifiable gears and switches to him. But he nodded because she was right. “Ain’t you goin’ to sleep? Seems like it’s been an exciting day for you, and the others are all bunked down for the night.”

Kaylee shrugged, met his eyes.

Hell, she couldn’t spend all night here. She was going to have her own bunk like the rest of them. He wasn’t a gorram slave-driver. Mal made her follow him to the empty room between his and the bridge, and disengaged the hatch. He wasn’t sure why he’d thought of this one right off

Comments
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 31 January 2003 23:05
very nice ,sweet even
Saturday, 01 February 2003 00:25
This is fantastic. The pov switch near the end threw me off a little. And I loooove "No Pork Please." I laughed and laughed. Maybe you didn't intend for that to be too funny, but it's those details that make it so real! I really heard Mal's voice. I hope to read more from you!
Saturday, 01 February 2003 00:28
This is a great story! Please write more!!!
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 01 February 2003 03:47
Write more this topic...loved the feelings behind it.
Sunday, 02 February 2003 04:01
Love it! especially this line:
"Ka-chunk, says the hatch, not at all different from the sound Vera makes when he cocks her." <G>

keep writing Firefly fic for us please!
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 02 February 2003 23:46
PRetty good. I'm a snob so I have some critiques. One (and this is a real nit pick) but Mal's bed is on the opisite wall, not the one that he shares with Kaylee. That's not to say he couldn't hear a ruccus in there but . . .
ALso, I really think Jayne would be a little more borish and manly about a midnight trist between Kaylee and SImon, sort of a 'oh, so your not gay -- get any tail?' But that's just my oppinion. I also found the present tense a little hard to read. But, otherwise, pretty good. Keep it up!
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 02 February 2003 23:47
PRetty good. I'm a snob so I have some critiques. One (and this is a real nit pick) but Mal's bed is on the opisite wall, not the one that he shares with Kaylee. That's not to say he couldn't hear a ruccus in there but . . .
ALso, I really think Jayne would be a little more borish and manly about a midnight trist between Kaylee and SImon, sort of a 'oh, so your not gay -- get any tail?' But that's just my oppinion. I also found the present tense a little hard to read. But, otherwise, pretty good. Keep it up!
Harri Vane (not realizing she's not signed in)
Thursday, 06 March 2003 09:45
That was awesome my dear. I love the No Pork Please shirt...and Mal eavsedropping...and when he almost falls off his bed. You should definitely do more!!!
Saturday, 28 June 2003 08:11
Heh,I LOVE it!! :) Great work!
I loved how you wrote Mal, I could really see him acting like that :)
You certainly know Kaylee so well ;)
heh
Tuesday, 01 July 2003 22:04
That was sweet Issy, loved that Mal would be eavesdropping on her. I think he does seek to protect her, keep her happy. She is the one person on board who hasn't seen the dark side and Mal would like to keep it that way. Very nice, keep writing.
Wednesday, 09 July 2003 04:10
WHat fun, Mal's all protective of Kaylee even though he knows she's not sexually innocent.
Makes him all manner of uncomfortable doesn't it?

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