Mal is sitting in Wash’s old chair, gazing at the cold blackness when she comes to him. He can hear her bare feet whispering to Serenity before she perches herself on the edge of the control panel. She places her small feet on his knees and leans forward to watch him quietly. At one time it might have unnerved him but now he accepts it as he does her, whole and actual.

When she reaches out to touch his cheek his eyes slide close on instinct, he doesn’t bother hiding his response to her anymore. He knows she can sense the weariness and longing that rests beneath his skin and the hard line of his jaw. His head is full of worries about finding a job after Miranda, keeping her safe and how to heal Zoe. He doesn’t know how to do any of it now.

“It’s time,” Rivers says suddenly, voice full of a strength he doesn’t have.

Silence settles over them and he can just make out the shadowy outline of a patient smile on her face in the glow of the control panel. “Alright” he breathes finally and River can taste the relief when his hands slid up her calves to pull her towards him.

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When the captain tells the crew they’re taking leave at his mammas ranch on Shadow for a spell, Simon thinks about the book on Veterinary Medicine River bought him at the last port. She won’t meet his eyes when he looks to her, Zoe and Mal share a long hard stare before she relents while Jayne agrees too, which surprises Simon. When the captain prods him he mutters something about ‘whacking them cattle’ and of course Kaylee agrees cause ‘Cap’n you can’t fix nothin to save your life.’ Simon already knows he and River will go with the Captain, just like the rest of the crew. They’re family after all.

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The first time River gets thrown from a horse she gets the wind knocked out of her and lays in the dust, gasping. Zoe has the reins and Mal is beside her in an instant but her eyes are wide and vacant. His hands are warm when he brushes t