They’ve called Serenity home for two years now, fallen comfortably into the parts they’ve been given. River plays the girl-not girl who hears what she shouldn’t; and Simon plays the doctor with brother-hands.

Simon with the hands that would make her whole again, hands that would move the world for her, kill for her and die for her.

It hurts to think of that, of blood that’s from life taking and not life giving. It changes him and she wishes it wouldn’t. She cries for him on the nights the nightmares don’t come, when he makes her a real girl that feels. He tries to make her whole again with his medicines, to put together the pieces until she feels right. It works but sometimes there are cracks, missing parts, but it’s wholer then she’s ever felt and she thinks that’s good enough.

River feels safe in his arms, feels safe when he holds her because when the nightmares come she can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. He sleeps beside her, warm and comforting, with lullabies that sing of love and devotion. Sometimes though, when it’s late and River can’t sleep, she can hear his regrets. They are quiet and sad, he doesn’t think she can hear them but she does, she hears everything.

Regrets were for people who had choices . She wasn’t his choice, she was his only option.

Sometimes she wishes she wasn’t.