Kaylee munched a protean bar, doing her best to ignore the taste. Wash and Jayne were washing the dishes, and Simon was in the corner trying to convince River that scribbling all over Jayne’s knife blade with crayons was not the best idea in the ‘verse.
“Remind me again why we agreed to deliver goods to this backwards moon which may or may not be on the brink of war?” Jayne asked around a mouth of bread.
"Well, if you can call a few poorly organized riots a war”
“Guess it didn’t seem like such a bad idea when we were getting paid” Wash said.
“Granted, that was back when these mafia guys weren’t blowin up every ship what landed here…” Kaylee stood up and started clearing the table.
“Reckon the captain wasn’t overly concerned with bein’ caught, given that this corner of the verse aint seen alliance in years.” She said.
“Speakin o which, he ‘an Zoe should be back soon”.
The narrow brick-paved alley seemed to block out the little daylight left as Zoe and Mal made their way back to Serenity.
“You sure this was the way we came, sir? Zoe asked.
“Sure… this way… or, another…” Zoe sighed.
“Would be a pity to have a deal go as smooth as that only to get lost on the way back” she said, with just a hint of mockery in her voice.
“Hey, it was a lot lighter goin’ in. I wasn’t figuring it to get dark that fast is all”
“Yes sir.”
“I have an elaborate plan to get us back in half the time” said mal, who was getting less and less sure of the way by the minute.
“Hey! You their!” a bright light ahead momentarily blinded Zoe, and she made out the shapes of two of the local peace-keepers.
“What are you two doing in this part of town? Off-limits to civilians!”
“Terribly sorry officer… I’m not rightly sure where here is anyway… Zoe, does this look new to you?”
“Certainly does, sir. Can’t say I’ve been here before”. The two officers came closer, the points of their stun-guns leveled at Mal and Zoe.
“Well, you’d best not be here now! Come with us, we-“ The man broke of
Also amused by "protean bar"--they do seem to be able to mimic any kind of food, from bao to cake.
But seriously, the story idea has real promise--an underground Browncoat army still fighting...for some the war really never did end. It'll be amusing to watch Mal get into, or out of, this.
You might want to consider breaking up your graphs into bite-sized pieces. It would be a little more inviting for the reader. Above all else, I'd recommend finding someone to beta your stories and help you improve.
Keep writing!
You can't take the sky from me
Air is not your enemy.
b
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