Leaving the bridge after setting the ship to auto-pilot, Wash stopped on his way to the galley, just short of running into Mal, Zoe, Inara and Book, who stood gathered silently in the doorway.

"There an invisible shield on the door I'm unaware of?"

"Shhhh!"

He frowned, resting a hand on Zoe's back, lowering his voice, "What are we watching?"

She shifted to the side, allowing him a glimpse into the dining area to see Jayne seated at the table, his chin resting on one hand as he stared across the room. "Um. What's he doing?"

"We're not certain," Mal responded, a hint of a smile in his words. "But he might be thinking."

"Ahh," Wash nodded, tilting his head to study Jayne for a beat. "Why is he wearing a pink collar?"

-

Sometimes, Jayne wondered how he got himself in these situations. Was it his own fault for steppin' foot on this boat to begin with? For not sellin' River and Simon down the... well, the river, before he started carin' about 'em? When he went and forgot that all women folk were naturally evil and not to be trusted?

Yeah. That was probably it.

He didn't mean to rat 'em out. Not really. It's just, Mal’s much scarier than the two of them. River might be able to kill him with her brain, but he was damned sure Mal already had a dozen ways to end him all nice and planned out. He was always wary of River, just turned out he hadn’t been wary enough. And he just downright underestimated Little Kaylee. Girl's got a more devious mind than anyone that cute lookin' ought to.

Genius mechanic and genius crazy-girl were dangerous enough on their own, but now that they combined forces... Jayne shuddered. He needed to put a stop to it before it got any worse.

First mornin' after leavin' Paquin was bad enough. Woke up with that cold metal collar circlin' his neck and no recollection how it'd gotten there. Spent an hour tuggin' on it, trying to find the catch to get it off, but the Mostly-sane one had gone and welded it somehow. Some small part 'o him was prideful of them bein' so st