"Feelin' better there, doc?"

Simon opened one eye, then the other. "Didn't know you cared."

Jayne snorted, stepping into the infirmary. "Don't. Just wondering when you'll be back on your feet and pulling your weight around here, Cap'n has it in his head that we'll be ready to be moving on in a few days."

"And just how much weight are you pulling with that shoulder?" Simon asked.

"It's not so bad." Jayne grunted. "Those Alliance boys gave me some good stuff." With his back to the doctor, he started picking up some of the bottles that had been left on the counter, reading the labels and tossing them aside. "Hey, meant to tell you, that was some nice motivational speaking back there."

"What?"

"What you said to Kaylee, before the gorram Reavers interrupted that lovely little moment you two were having. 'Bout what you regretted not doing with her. Sure lit a fire under her."

"Oh God." Simon covered his face with both hands, wincing. "You heard that. Great. What are the odds of me ever living that one down?"

"I'm in a generous kind of mood. So long as you don't hurt Kaylee, 'cause if you do..."

Simon knew this speech by heart. When River had been thirteen, a neighbor boy had walked her home from school. Taking his role as the older brother to heart, Simon had sat the kid down and explained to him, in the sort of medical detail someone who would one day be in the top three percent at MedAcad would know, exactly what would happen if he ever caused River to shed a single tear.

"...and there won't even be enough left for a proper burial in anything bigger than a cigar box. Dong ma?" Jayne was wrapping up his speech, so Simon nodded.

"Absolutely." He agreed. "And you don't have to worry, my intentions towards Kaylee are-"

"Oh, I heard what your intentions towards her are." Jayne interrupted. "And I've gotten an earful of what her intentions towards you are. A word of advice, doc, you might be needin' a whole different kinda 'safeword' with her." At the look on Simon's face, he burst out l