Death or Glory
Tuesday, January 6, 2004
Just one story of many from the battle of Serenity Valley
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 11223 RATING: 8.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
THIS FANFIC IS PART OF A ONGOING STORYLINE THAT STARTS WITH DEATH OR GLORY CONTINUES WITH WOLFPACK THEN HERE BE DRAGONS AND FINALLY HORSE, FOOT AND ARTILLERY . YOU CAN FIND ALL THESE FANFICS AT THE LINK BELOW AND THEY MAKE MUCH MORE SENSE READ IN ORDER TRUST ME!
http://www.fireflyfans.net/fulluserbluesunlist.asp?un=Hotpoint>Hotpoints Fan Fiction
http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=598>Inspired by the story: The Song of the 21st Lancers by Geezer
http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=600>Song of the 21st Lancers (Unofficial enlisted soldiers Version)
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Disclaimer - Everything belongs to Joss or it should, I'm just borrowing his shiny 'Verse for a while
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Exeter City – Devon Colony – 2519 AD
The barmaid did a double-take and stared when I dropped into the stool but that was nothing new or unexpected “Come on. I know I’m pretty but I’m really just here for the beer’ I told her and grinned. I do a good grin, that grin helped get me my wife. Had to be the grin because it wasn’t the personality or looks.
Her expression changed from distaste tinged with pity to a wry smile and I grinned back. ‘Bottle of anything cold’ I said slapping some platinum on the bar ‘and a packet of those peanuts over there’.
The Beer arrived, cheap local brew and just like the establishment itself it was nothing special, but it contained alcohol and was certainly cold enough. A Cortex feed suspended from the ceiling was showing a game from the local league and I lent back to watch whilst my change arrived plus the peanuts. Many of the settlers in these parts originally hailed from Dyton Colony or Wessex so the game was proper football, as in played with the feet. It wasn’t a bad match either although the Referee needed his eyes beamed because there was no way in guay that second goal was offside.
I couldn’t get a ride for a couple of days and there was nothing bet
-'women' as a singular and 'brownjackets' as a rule bother me. If you do that occasionally, it's fine, but they were both too common in your text and distracted me some from its shininess;
-with current military ranks, an 18-year-old army/marine/airforce lieutenant is only possible if the younster graduated college at 18 and somehow survived officer school(this may be USA-centric, I don't know much about other nations' military structures);
-I don't believe we ever heard Zoe's rank in the series, Corporal is probably fine but it distracted me; and
-the dialog in the infirmary was stilted.
I liked your original (in my experience, anyway) war machines and the valor of the ones you put at their controls. You stayed true to the nature of the crew in concept, if not in voice, and I think you have the potential to write some enthralling stories. Will there be a sequel?
You can't take the sky from me
I wholeheartedly concur with you on the dialogue front. I'm new to the Firefly 'verse and as yet not hugely in touch with the characters
I think with greater familiarity I'll do the Serenity Crew more justice in the future though
Oh yes. Regarding the young Lieutenant I was imagining the Independents being pretty desperate for replacements towards the last years of the War. Consider him an underage recruit who later got a Field Commision
I think I'll hold off on a sequel until I'm better at getting into the minds and speech patterns of the Crew. However would anyone like a prequel instead which follows Steve and the 21st through events earlier in the War?
Somehow I've got the daft idea I owe my characters a couple of victories after killing most of them off at their first appearance :-p
Like your first story. Can't wait to read the rest. One correction; the line "...if there’s any adverse recreation" should be adverse 'reaction.'
I started with your latest post but now I'm going back and reading the rest.
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